Here we are – another day and another vertical movie. I am not ashamed. Quite the opposite. I have chosen to embrace the dumpster fire that is life and not care if people want to judge me for my obvious financial indiscretions and paying way too much each week to have these apps. I could spend money on worse things. I could watch worse things. Maybe I watch them religiously lately because of the fact that they are always in a hospital, so it’s relatable to me. Maybe it’s because I love a good trope and maybe it’s because life is a dumpster fire and this way these billionaires issues are a big dumpster fire.
The Secret of My Billion Dollar Marriage was just that – a dumpster fire of mistaken identity, lies, flash marriages, and drama. Cheating, hiding who you are, meeting a stranger and thinking he’s a male escort? Totally normal also to meet a guy in a club and be like “lets get married” because you saw your ex with someone else. All of this makes total sense. Right? Totally normal.
If you don’t sense my sarcasm, I would like to apologize to you for my failure, because I am being completely sarcastic. None of this is normal. Everyone is an heiress or something and they always want to know what it’s like to live as a “normal person” to which I say that nothing is ever really normal. There are different types of normal.
And rich people normal is different.
But when two rich people are trying to fake normal there is some hilarity to be had. But now lets get back to this. The Secret of My Billion Dollar Marriage, has two billionaires thinking that they have to come across as “regular” because they could be used for their money. I get that this has to do with the fact they are billionaires, but dude, can we reign it in a little. The absolute insane numbers that they say that these people are worth.
She’s at a club, she’s trying to get over the fact that she got dumped and that her ex moved on with the girl that had bullied her for years. She’s taken a back. Emma plays everything pretty smart and pretty close to her chest. She doesn’t want anyone to know that family that she comes from because then she can just live.
Emma hid the fact that she was from the Coffman family and did it so well that her ex didn’t know and Lucas also didn’t. Then again Lucas hid that he was from the Fischer family. The two agree to get married because they do know that both their parents want them to be married. May not be to each other, but definitely they want them married.
The excuses that these two come up with to avoid each other and to cover their lies, it’s actually kinda hysterical. I know, I know – I have watched a lot of bad soap operas in my life, so it should be of no shock to me that I really do enjoy watching these. I just think that it’s hysterical how all of the people that act in these – how dramatic that they are on screen and how fun it makes it. Now would I like kidnapping, sexual assault, and slapping to stop. Yes.
But I will say in this – the slaps were fewer, because people were catching hands before they made contact. The beat downs were there.
Kasey Esser and Rebecca Stoughton do have a lot of chemistry on the screen and match each others moods, movements, and sense of humor. They know the ridiculousness, but they also know that it brings people together and joy to watch these type of things.
Emma and Lucas are falling in love and neither one wants to admit it. They somehow manage to avoid it over and over. BUT, at a certain point – they are falling to the pressure of their parents to meet someone they want them married too. Fake marriage comes out and the parents are really just not happy. There are reputations to live up to.
The two refuse to get a divorce. They are going to live their lives the way they want to. And I am here for it. The dances in the kitchen, the way he tells her to trust him like 100x during the whole thing, and the way she’s letting walls down. The two set their foot down with their parents and it turns out that their respective parents had wanted to introduce them to each other. Ahhh, too good.
I really think that what holds a lot of people holding back from watching verticals is the price. They are way too expensive to watch and that is a deterrent. It’s hard to swing these prices and to justify them. Not all verticals are good and some feel like AI wrote the script, but some really showcase talented actors and this one does. Kasey Esser and Rebecca Stoughton are talented and I am thankful that they showcase that talent in these.
Because I don’t know about you – but I need an escape all the time and am thankful that I can get it – with actors I admire – on verticals. Both just seem to have fun with it and it shows.
The Secret of My Billion Dollar Marriage is a good lead in experience if you want to start watching verticals. Just allow yourself to suspend belief and embrace the fun. This one will not disappoint.
