9-1-1 Season 9, Episode 12 Review: Abandonment Issues Galore

9-1-1 Season 9, Episode 12 ‘Dads and Cads‘ is about family. The one who leaves us, the one who stays, and the one who shapes us into who we are, for better or worse.

For Buck, that means Bobby, of course. Even if he’s gone. The thing about losing a loved one is that the people we love are gone and in some ways never gone, as corny as that sentiment is. Their absence becomes a thing we grow around, a thing we adjust to. It never stops hurting, but at some point, we find a way to do the things they would want us to do. To celebrate the wins, because they would want us. And to go win at some silly firefighter games, because Bobby believed you could.

Of course, it also means facing the fact that even the people who should stay sometimes don’t stay. Not really. Buck and Maddie have parents, and they are not going anywhere, even if they’re getting divorced. But have they ever been around, really? Have they ever been half of what Bobby was to Buck? Have they been the family Maddie found with Chim? We know the answer, as much as this show wants to pretend they have been something resembling parents to Buck or Maddie. So why is this so hard?

MORE: Remember when 9-1-1 killed Bobby Nash because “realism”? We’re still mad.

ABANDONMENT ISSUES

The thing about Buck and Maddie taking the news that their parents are divorcing hard is that it’s absolutely normal. That’s pretty much the standard reaction to that news. Even if you’re an adult. Because your parents are a constant in your life, and in your memories. And if they’ve always been a unit, that’s sort of what you’ve processed as normal. Any deviation from that is… strange. Buck reacts like he always reacts, by spiraling and then pretending he isn’t spiraling. Maddie, meanwhile, is just upset and very upfront about it.

But, and it’s a big ‘but’… Buck and Maddie’s parents haven’t really been enough of a presence in their lives that the absence of them as a unit should matter all that much. Buck even said so himself; they’re divorcing each other, not him! They’ll go on to have a non-existent relationship with their mom and dad, just separately. Because they are, admittedly, horrible parents. One apology doesn’t change that.

Of course, for Buck, this isn’t really about his parents. This is about all the people who have left Buck, have chosen to leave him, and how that makes him feel. Don’t believe me? Just go look at his reaction to Eddie saying he didn’t know he was coming back to LA.

Maddie (even though she came back), Abby, Ali, Taylor, Tommy, Eddie (even though he came back), Bobby (even though he didn’t want to). It’s a long list. And as much as you tell yourself you’ve processed your abandonment issues, the truth is they resurface when you least expect them. That part is not surprising. How Buck chooses to deal with it isn’t either, but it is telling. Because, through it all, even when he’s spiraling, Buck knows one thing: Eddie fought to come back. His parents never did.

MORE: We’ve been saying it’s time for Buddie for a while.

EVERYONE’S GOT A PERSON

I think this show has established many times before the thing ‘Dads and Cads’ re-establishes, that Eddie and Chris are Buck’s people. When something goes wrong, Maddie has Chim, Hen has Karen, and Buck has… Eddie. That’s why so many people have been so invested in their potential for so long, because their relationship is so couple-coded. Well, that and the fact that the actors have chemistry.

But this episode sees Buck try to engage with the fear of being left, of not being chosen, and do so with Eddie. And ironically, it feels that even as he’s doing it with Eddie, since they’re not all that great at communicating, he’s doing it in a way that Eddie doesn’t really understand. Because the thing about Eddie is that he didn’t choose to leave Buck. And he came back.

In fact, in Eddie’s mind, he probably doesn’t see leaving for Texas as leaving Buck at all. He didn’t even want to be in Texas, after all. That was just Eddie sacrificing himself for Chris. Buck didn’t factor into his sacrifice. And later, well… coming back to LA was what he wanted. So, it’s perhaps hard for him to see that he’s now become another person who makes Buck’s abandonment issues flare up, even as he is the one Buck takes comfort in.

There are no answers to this in the episode, for Buck or Eddie. But the show keeps sending the same message over and over, making the same choices, and it’s hard not to read something into it when it’s so intentional.

MORE: Is Eddie Diaz gay? The question is valid.

ONCE AGAIN I ASK, IS THERE A POINT?

Which once again leads me to a question I’ve asked before: what are we doing here, 9-1-1? Where is this Eddie and Buck storyline going? Is it going somewhere? I feel like we’re past the point of it needing to be defined, and I fully understand that the only reason I’m saying this is that Buck and Eddie are both men. If we were standing here, and the story was being written the same way, but one of them were a woman, we’d have no doubt this is happening. We’d just be here for the slow burn.

But with same sex couples, history is not on our side, and things are not so simple. So the best thing the show can do right now is be unequivocal about what they’re doing. Is it something, or should we lower our expectations? We need clarity.

And we also would love an understanding that the Moonlighting curse isn’t real. The will they/won’t they isn’t the only thing that interests people. In fact, the problem with Moonlighting wasn’t that the main characters got together, but that the writers had no idea what to do with them when they did. You can’t write a ship taking the next step without a plan. That’s really the only rule. If you have a plan, then yes. Fans want to see what’s next.

In fact, in this day and age, fans are eager to see what’s next. Eager for domesticity. Eager for couples facing problems together. If this is really happening, we don’t have to wait. We don’t want to wait.

MORE: Read our review for the last episode of 9-1-1

Things I think I think:

• There’s always a catch!!
• We barely got to see Eddie and Hen working together, so this is nice.
• The way this show redeemed the Buckley parents will never not annoy me.
• Of course, he’s gonna go now that we know it was Bobby who submitted him for the Firefighter games.
• Poor Harry, walking in on your sister and whoever is literally worst nightmare scenario.
• He’s never gonna be able to look at Ravi in the face ever again.
• “You really gonna let Bobby down like that?”
• Peak friendship is guilting your friends, so.
• “You win, or you don’t come home.”
• Eddie, where’s your sense of adventure?
• “You took advantage of my sister.”
• Chim hears what Harry and Ravi are talking about and is like okay this is not my problem, I want nothing to do with this.
• Ravi is being so mature about this, though. I can’t say it’s not attractive.
• Ofc Buck went to Eddie’s.
• “A year ago, I didn’t know I was coming back.”
• “Losing is not an option,” I mean, it is.
• “DNA is not destiny.” Well, this one’s true.
• “It’s always hard on the kids,” says Chris!
• Yeah, Eddie knows you’re not good.
• Harry, what is your problem? Truly, what is your problem?
• Athena’s vibe is A+.
• Maddie will always worry about you, Buck. And also, it’s not always about you! Maddie can be struggling too.
• I actually really like what Buck said about Bobby submitting Eddie even when he wasn’t in LA, and the message about family. I appreciate you comforting your sister, Buck.
• Good on you for apologizing, Harry.
• You’re apologizing now for being bad parents? NOW?
• Buck, they are terrible parents.
• “I’d like to know more about the man who helped raise my son.”
• THIS DOESN’T MAKE IT ALL BETTER. I HATE IT.
• I thought about making a section for the Buckley parents in this review, but I don’t have much more to say other than an apology right now doesn’t make it fine. Mean it every day.

Agree? Disagree? What did you think of 9-1-1 Season 9, Episode 11 ‘Dads and Cads’? Share with us in the comments below! Check out our Tales From the 118 podcast if you also want to listen to our reviews. On Apple Podcasts and Spotify! Plus, if you want to leave your own rating/comment about the show, you can do so in our 9-1-1 hub!

9-1-1 airs Thursdays at 8/7c on ABC.