‘Will’ 1×05: Affairs, Crazy As F*ck People, Heartbroken Women, and Chaos

Here’s the thing about Will – we love it, but we have to admit – that we expected something more. Then again drama of those days isn’t the same as it is now. Same way 700 years from now, the drama won’t be the same. But needless to say this weeks episode of Will kinda made us yawn and go WTF at the same time.

Now we are loving Jamie Campbell Bower, but even this week he made us cringe and wonder WTF was happening. Like I can’t even with this bullshit – but we’ll get there.

Here’s the synopsis –

An unexpected arrival from out of town sends Will’s (Laurie Davidson) world spinning. A transcendental experience leads Marlowe (Jamie Campbell Bower) to deal with his past. Topcliffe (Ewen Bremner) deciphers a code that throws Will into a life and death situation.

Let’s break this episode down. The episode was entitled, “The Marriage of True Minds,” but what it should have been called is a tie between Christopher Marlowe is mad or Will doesn’t know how to keep his dick in his pants.

WIVES CAN MAKE A SURPRISE VISIT

Will sometimes forgets that he’s married. I totally get it – he’s attracted to Alice and he’s taken her honor, but he’s forgotten something important. He’s forgotten that he’s married and has three kids. Let me explain something to you Will, when you are married and have three kids, you keep your penis locked up in your pants. Hell, when you are in a committed relationship – you don’t cheat.

But he has been with Alice. Karma is a bitch and has come around to smack him in the face. He’s upstairs rolling around where he doesn’t belong and don’t you know, his wife has appeared with his 3 kids. Luckily the person that he rents from didn’t just let her upstairs, cause shit would have gone down.

But Anne is there. And she’s excited to be there. She’s excited because she misses her man. Then again – long distance relationships are a bitch. The lady he rents from walks in – not caring that Will could be naked and lets him know – his wife is downstairs.

Alice is freaking, but she’s got every right to be and then none at all. She knew he was married. So like, I don’t feel bad for her. It’s hard when something that you don’t necessarily see, becomes a reality.

She leaves and she’s hurting and Will knows it. But that’s no reason for him to try to get rid of his wife. He takes his wife and kids on a tour of London and then to the theater. Everyone is excited to meet them, the kids are thrilled, but Will just wants them to head back because he doesn’t want to hurt Alice. And when she meets them – you can tell she’s hurting.

But you know, sending your wife back to your place when you haven’t made sure that your girlfriends hair isn’t all over the bed. Cause you know, your wife will find it.

And she does. It doesn’t take long before she confronts Will. He doesn’t want to have sex with her and she asks if he’s having sex with the blonde. He doesn’t deny it – which I commend. She kicks him out – which I give her props for because I would have done worse.

But ultimately Will tells Alice that he’s going to ask his wife to stay. And Alice says that it’s okay, that they will be okay with other people as long as they run the theater together.

Oh Alice, I feel for you, but at the same time I want to smack sense into you.

THE PLAY MUST BE WRITTEN

So we know that Will was supposed to write a play for Captain Crazypants – AKA Topcliffe. Topcliffe wants Will to write him a play and gave him a week to do it. But Will tells him that he couldn’t think of a play to write. And Topcliffe, cocky and dumb as he is.

Did I mention that he’s also insane?

He deciphers the letter that rat boy gave to him – so he knows where Robert is. Will, wanting to save his cousin, runs off to get to the safe house before Topcliffe can get there. He narrowly escapes with his cousin and we’re on the edge of our seat.

But we also get why Will is mad.

His family has been put in danger. His life has been put in danger. Like at what point does that compute to Robert? Now, I totally get it – he’s being hunted and that’s not easy for him to go through. But like at the same point – respect those around you.

Topcliffe brings his son along for the raid and his son is now fearful of him. Ummm, I would be fearful of my Dad if he smashed someones face in. Just saying. But when his son screams for him to stop, he looses respect for his son. And quite frankly – that’s disgusting.

Topcliffe is a psychopath and I hate him.

CHRISTOPHER MARLOWE IS INSANE

Okay, so what we see of Chris Marlowe starts out and I thought he was having an exorcism performed on him. Like I seriously I thought he had lose his damn mind. And he has. The lengths that he goes through in order to be inspired, like WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK.

He wants to be pushed to the brink of death. He wants to be tormented. He wants the people with him to push him to the brink so that he’s inspired. Ummm, dude? Asking someone to bury you up to your neck like you are at the beach, but only in the middle of the woods – that makes lots of sense.

Well like none at all.

The thing is – sure, they come back the next day and the unbury him. But he’s lost his fucking mind.

Lord, I can’t.

Will airs Mondays on TNT.

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