The Only Good Thing About ‘They/Them’ is the Title

In an effort to build a space for queer people like myself, every Sunday I’ll be posting interviews, opinion pieces, listicles, reviews, and more focused on the LGBT community (and occasionally about the Latinx community since I am Latinx.) Welcome to Queerly Not Straight! Enjoy and leave a comment below if you have a suggestion for what I should cover next.

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They/Them didn’t know what it wanted to be while presenting us with a hero that was safe and acceptable for the non-LGBTQ audience that would consume it, forgetting that this is a movie for the LGBTQ community. Not only that, every other person was window-dressing to the “hero” while barely scratching the surface of what it means to be LGBTQ+ and stuck in a conversion camp. Also, they spent way too much time torturing the campers in subtle and triggering ways instead of being the slasher it promised itself to be.

Ultimately, They/Them was a disappointment that shows we’ve got a long way to go when it comes to telling our stories in a nuanced and refreshing way that defies expectations and brings something new to the table.

Choosing the White and Safe Gay

Look, for a movie that preached left and right about how diverse and innovative it was…it was pretty white. Yes, they had an Asian character and two Black characters as part of the story. They got lines, at least. Plenty of characters didn’t get to use their voice at all and were just window-dressing to the main white characters. And when I look at Veronica (Monique Kim), Alexandra (Quei Tann), and Toby (Austin Crute), they were window dressing to Jordan (Theo Germaine), aka the Wonder Bread of the group who was so painfully bland that I just wanted Veronica, Alexandra, and Toby to take charge and get this ball rolling.

It honestly felt like Jordan was the non-threatening gay that They/Them could get away with being the lead of an LGBTQ+ movie. And it just doesn’t work. Instead of They/Them utilizing their cast to the best of their abilities, they spend time propping up Jordan when Jordan has no substance besides knowing the lyrics to a Pink song, knowing how to shoot, and also being the defiant gay of the group. No. Just no. For this movie to have worked, they should’ve explored more than just the white narrative we’ve seen repeatedly to the point of exhaustion.

And sure, They/Them gets kudos for putting a transgender and nonbinary character at the forefront of a genre that is consistently ignoring the LGBTQ+ community. We’re really tired of being left behind or the first ones to be killed by the bad guy. But you know what else we’re tired of? Our stories being told through such narrow and bland lenses that we don’t get content that speaks to us and our various experiences. Instead, we get cookie-cutter after-school special lessons on not letting others define us. And it’s just not cutting it or landing like they think it is.

What Could This Movie Have Done Better?

They/Them could’ve thrown the entire book out the window. They could’ve got the group to team up together to take down the killer, proving that it isn’t just Jordan who is the hunter. They all are. And they’ve always had that ferocity in them to make the changes they want to see in their lives and face the challenges that come their way as part of the LGBTQ+ community. Now, this would’ve rounded off They/Them better and made it so others, besides conventionally attractive and acceptable-looking queer people, feel seen in the content they consume.

This movie also could’ve done without making the only Black woman with lines the one with all the sage advice and sassy lines to help out the Wonder Bread of the group and protect the children while Wonder Bread is at the center of the climax of the film. There was so much potential for Alexandra as a Black transgender woman to be something more. And I can’t help but feel like she’s the equivalent of what heterosexual movies do with the male hero having doubts about life and the adventure to only have the woman hanging off his arm that does nothing to give him advice and set him on the straight and narrow before disappearing because reasons.

Oh, and another thing…why is it that the one fat girl didn’t have any speaking lines besides singing along to Pink? It was only the skinny and fit-looking people who had the lines, the focus, the story, and everything. They/Them had an opportunity to do something different where fat people aren’t relegated to the background as if we don’t matter because audiences “only want to see the fit people being put in danger but surviving.” No. I want the fat people to fight, thrive, survive, and be the leaders of their own destinies. But that’s not gonna happen anytime soon because Hollywood doesn’t realize that fat people watch these movies too. Shame with a healthy dose of side-eying.

Are We Going to Talk About the Perverted Adults?

There’s no denying that Kevin Bacon killed it in They/Them. He sold Owen Whistler and made you tentatively accepting of him because of how open and honest he was in the first couple of minutes. Then he started showing his true colors, along with the rest of them, and you began to realize that they are the real monsters of this movie. Seriously, the luring into a false sense of security before calling them “dykes” and forcing them to shoot innocent dogs was something I did not see coming. And it’s something I wish they would’ve spent less time on because this is a slasher after all and it needed more killing.

As if that wasn’t sick and twisted enough, They/Them had the camp counselors call the campers “children” while lusting after them. They were supposed to be the “adults” but one of them was a plant who lured a young man to have unprotected sex with them before revealing it was a ruse to then torture them in an unnecessary and triggering manner. Oh, but it gets worse. Two of the camp counselors find photos on the “children’s” phones and think about those photos while having sex. Just…that’s deranged, disgusting, and (again) shows that they are the the true monsters of the story.

For these many reasons, I was glad to see every single camp counselor die in They/Them. In fact, the deaths should’ve been more elaborate and sprinkled throughout the film, instead of me having to wait an hour and 20 minutes or so for these people to get what’s coming to them. Because they had it coming. From the very start. It’s a horror movie after all. What’s the point if you don’t see a little slashing and maiming? And if they prove a point, that conversion camps are horrible and should be destroyed, then we’re killing two birds with one stone.

Alas, They/Them was a failure of a slasher that underutilized its cast of characters while focusing on the safe Wonder Bread hero.

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Queerly Not Straight posts every Sunday with opinion pieces, listicals, reviews, and more focused on the LGBT community (and occasionally about the Latinx community since I am Latinx.)