Uglies made me question my life choices. I’m sitting here slaving away and worrying about life left and right. And here is Scott Westerfeld writing one of the most cliched and ridiculous books that I’ve ever heard of and then getting it made into a Netflix movie. I’m a fool. He’s a genius. Making bank while I’m sitting here complaining about how this was worse at cliches than the Fast and Furious movies. And I love the Fast and Furious movies, even if they’re ridiculous and over the top. But the Uglies? Oh, they were on a completely different level where I knew exactly what was going to happen every step of the way. I also laughed way more than I expected.
Starring Joey King, it tells the story of Tally, a young girl in a dystopian world waiting for her birthday. Because unlike us, we’re not thinking about high school or college. No, Tally is thinking about the surgery that she’s going to get when she comes of age that will transform her into a pretty. In this world, being pretty is the ultimate goal and the thing that frees you from the bonds of what makes us different. That part right there is already a ridiculous concept. But it was made even worse because they made Laverne Cox, a Black transgender woman, say this with a straight face. Being pretty is the only thing that divides our communities and nations? This is the most ignorant part of the movie and utterly tone deaf.
Going back to the cliched nature of Uglies.
If Joey King is ugly then I am a bottom feeding wretched cryptid monster. The same thing goes for Brianne Tju and Chase Stokes. And I know there is a message lurking here about how we will always want more than what we have, especially when it comes to beauty standards set by others. It’s made even worse if those beauty standards are tied with what looks like a lush, extravagant, and freeing life. We do see bits of that emulated in real life when it comes to the parasocial relationship between influencers like the Kardashians and regular people. The regular consumer will do anything to emulate that lifestyle and have a piece of it aka how the Kardashians are rich. But even then, it was ridiculous to think of these actors as “uglies.”
This entire story was made even more baffling by the fact that I could predict everything that was going to happen. Tally of course was the chosen one who could do no wrong even after getting the parent of the guy that she liked murdered. And because she was the chosen one I knew that she was going to see her love interest glistening in the moonlight during a lake sequence, that two seconds after meeting her everyone would tell them their secrets, and that she would have her Temu Katniss Everdeen moment where she wants to overthrow the system. There were no surprises in this movie and it got so predictable that I really felt like they just put YA cliches and tropes in a hat and then picked out their favorites.
Another problem with Uglies is that the lead Tally is insufferable. She has no charisma, redeeming qualities, or presence. I don’t care that she lost her friend, made a new friend who went off to join the rebellion, and that she ended up transformed into a pretty. I didn’t resonate with her or her journey and I was really mad at her for acting like her actions weren’t that bad when she got to the camp. Her lies got people killed and Tju’s Shay turned into a pretty. There was no risk with Tally and she left me cackling in moments when I knew things were dire and serious because her actions and dialogue were so nonsensical.
If anything, Shay should have been the main character. She had more presence, drive, and determination. She did lean into the badass Asian woman stereotype a little bit too much, I’ll admit that. I’m just thankful she didn’t have a purple highlight in her hair, something that is prevalent with Asian characters to prove that they’re “not like other girls.” Shay felt relatable and if Tally was going to be involved in any sense in this story, it should have been as the love interest for Shay. Because there was chemistry between them in comparison to the void that were the other two love interests for Tally. Shay felt like she was ride or die, had complex feelings, and felt like someone worth exploring. Tally was like watching drying paint, interesting when you watch little droplets of paint form but easily forgotten when you put the roller over it and smooth out that paint.
At the end of the day, Scott Westerfeld made his money while I’m sitting here in my pajamas contemplating my existence and wondering if I have any chips. He’s the one who made bank and I’m the fool. But at least I got a couple laughs out of Uglies that made it worthwhile. I was also left with a curiosity at how the books actually read because some of the things that I saw on screen, it felt like something that read well on the page but never translated properly to the screen. And that’s a tragedy.
Uglies is now available on Netflix.
