Doesn’t Mean We Didn’t Enjoy It Though
It’s World Cup season, and so I have to admit that I am quite surprised that there are not more soccer/football micro-dramas. For purposes of clarity, I am going to be calling it soccer in this review, and so all of the people who are about to be mad at me for that, sorry. Sitting down to watch Offside, I was a little surprised.
Why?
Because I didn’t think I would love it as much as I do. However, when you put Tess Dinerstein and Jared Staub in a drama together, you have our attention. Both are micro-drama royalty, and so we have to address the hair crimes committed against them in this movie. Bangs are a no-no, and if you have them, they should never be that short. If your bleached hair is growing out and it makes you look like a wannabe Justin Timberlake, one must shave their head and start over.
Yes, I get distracted by these types of things, and I don’t even care that it makes me look superficial. Dinerstein and Staub are both extremely talented actors, but the hair and makeup department did them dirty.
Staubs tan looked like he left the self-tanner on for days and forgot to wash it off. When he smiled, it was like that episode from Friends where Ross overbleached his teeth
Yes, I had to get that out of my system. I’ve seen way too many hair crimes in microdramas these days. I know budgets are small, but there are too many things that people are taking for granted. Locations. Hair and Makeup. Costuming.
At least with this one, they got micro-drama royalty. Along with Tess Dinerstein and Jared Staub, Offside also stars Molly Anderson, Sydney Culbertson, and Ryan Watson Henderson in supporting roles. However, what will keep you invested is the chemistry that Dinerstein and Staub.
VEGAS
Jenna and her bestie, Becca, are in Vegas. And let’s be honest—Vegas is rarely a good idea. Most of the time, it’s a terrible one. But terrible decisions make for great stories.
Jenna is determined to get over her ex, and in her mind, that means getting under someone else. She has no idea who Matt Stark (Staub) is, but she knows he’s hot, and that’s enough for Drunk Jenna to decide he’s exactly what she needs. So she takes the initiative and hits on him.
It works.
Then every Vegas cliché comes true. They get drunk, get married, and wake up the next morning staring at wedding rings on their fingers, wondering how they got there.
Matt thinks the whole situation is a joke. He’s looking for hidden cameras. . Jenna feels completely taken advantage of. They both agree the obvious solution is a divorce, and you think that’s where the story ends.
Except this is a vertical drama, so of course it isn’t that simple.
Nothing ever is.
STAYING MARRIED
Jenna lands a job as the PR agent for Matt’s soccer team. There’s just one rule: no relationships with the players.
That could be a problem considering she’s secretly married to the team’s biggest star.
I’ll give these two credit—they know how to keep a secret. Matt Stark is a narcissist, Jenna is a control freak, and somehow they manage to keep their marriage under wraps. Of course, we all know secrets in dramas have an expiration date.
They never stay buried.
The team owner may have no clue they’re married, but these two aren’t exactly masters of subtlety. They openly discuss their relationship at a party where practically anyone could overhear them. It’s a bold strategy, and somehow it works…for a while.
They’re supposed to finalize their divorce the next day, but Matt talks Jenna into postponing it. His mother has been relentlessly pushing him to settle down and give her grandchildren, so he tells her he’s already married.
Lying to your mother is almost always a bad idea.
Making your fake marriage into a real secret marriage? That’s an even worse one.
THE WEDDING
The two strike a deal: Matt will accompany Jenna to the wedding where her ex will be. In return, she’s moved in with him, something that has left her feeling completely overwhelmed.
Now, why anyone would willingly attend a wedding where their loser ex and his new girlfriend are celebrating their happily ever after is beyond me. Why Jenna wants to see Nikko (who, I should add, commits yet another hair crime) is equally baffling. Sure, she was supposed to show up with Matt, but after their latest fight, it looks like that’s off the table.
At least, that’s what we think.
Matt arrives anyway, wearing a suit that perfectly matches his hair because apparently color coordination is a personality trait. Once he’s there, he makes a point of ensuring everyone sees him doting on Jenna. I know it’s cheesy, but I found myself cringing through most of it. It was over the top, almost performative, yet somehow it was exactly what Jenna needed. More than anything, she wants to feel like she’s someone’s first choice. And, for the moment, no one is making her feel that way more than her fake husband.
By this point, they’re no longer just pretending to be married—they’re playing a dangerous game with each other’s emotions. And whenever feelings become part of the rules, someone is bound to get hurt.
The irony is that I don’t think either of them actually wants to play.
They’ve both sworn off relationships, convinced they’re better off alone. But sometimes your head tells you to walk away while your heart keeps pulling you forward. Eventually, one of them is going to have to decide which voice they’re willing to listen to.
THAT’S NOT WHAT HE WAS EXPECTING
Jenna and Matt have an interesting dynamic. The two of them are strong, stubborn, and independent. But they also don’t understand the mixed feelings that they are living with. Nothing is supposed to be real, but as time went on, they were both changing.
It was a game of push and pull. Both of them are messing with each other’s heads. But was I expecting them to be so good at playing house? No.
When she meets his parents, she’s nervous. The Mom thinks that something is up, and the fake sex that the two have to try and appease the parents had me laughing until my stomach hurt. The fake moaning – I can’t.
But it leads the two of them down a path that enables them to get to know each other.
They follow the house rules, and Matt is going to try to break as many as possible. He invites a supermodel over, and Jenna uses it as the chance to play jealous wife. He’s doing all that he can to antagonize, but all it’s doing is making him fall for her.
She’s seeing him being fawned over, and it’s too much. But as the two grow closer, it starts to hurt even more.
THE LIGHT
At the game, Matt sees a light start to fall, and it’s about to hit Jenna. He runs out of the game to protect her, injuring himself in the process. The way that she reacts – seeing him injured showed us everything that we needed to know.
But it also drove the whole world to question their relationship. The paparazzi are everywhere. He tells her that if she feels bad, she can take good care of him at home.
Jenna’s got this soft heart, even though she has a rough exterior. She keeps going on and dealing with everything, but she wears her pain and indecision all over her face. Everything that Matt does sends mixed signals.
But she does the same.
There is an electricity between the two, but both skirt around the truth out of fear. Fear is a powerful thing, I guess. But these two need to get past their fear and embrace their emotions.
What makes this micro-drama so good is that the indecision that both Jenna and Matt feel is relatable. We all go through those types of moments- the ones where we want to admit that we feel something and allow people in.
Jenna is guarded because her relationships have never worked out. Her ex tries to get her back, and when she rejects him, he investigates.
THE TRUTH
Moments that should have remained secret… well, they don’t. Matt has decided that he’s giving up fan events and auctions – he wants to honor Jenna. He loves her and is devoted to her.
His delivery on why he quit all these events isn’t the best, but I do believe that it is the best that he can do. The two of them are so damaged in the love department that they don’t know how to be open with those around them or themselves.
But when she wants to end their contract, and he admits he loves her, she’s terrified. She’s scared that she’s going to lose him, that he’ll want someone else. She’s scared of the fame and the paparazzi that come along with it. But she decides that she’ll give him the last three weeks of their contract, but after that, she’s leaving.
The two become bold and stop trying to hide that they love each other. But that doesn’t mean that she’s going to stay. It terrifies her even more.
Jenna’s heart – the way that she opened it for Matt – scares her. She knows that it’s too much for her.
When it’s found out that the two were married in Vegas, Jenna gets fired. She decides that she’s going to take the blame and disappear. For her, that’s the way that she can love him the most.
As Offside progressed, there were moments when I faltered. Not because I hated it – but because I got sidetracked staring at hair crimes. But what I never turned away from was the yearning, angst, and chemistry.
COFFEE SHOPS
Dinerstein as Jenna was such a light in this show. She makes her presence known and commands the scenes that she is in. Her eyes – well, she carries emotion in her eyes and in her body movements. She personifies angst and yearning. Her scenes — she carries herself as the character should. It feels as though she becomes the character, and Dinerstein makes you forget that you are watching a movie.
When she leaves, she ends up working at a coffee shop where she can hide. But Matt and his family are looking for her. He’s honored her wishes until the season was over, and now, he wants to find her.
He tells the whole world he is bringing her home, and he means it.
I do believe that this micro drama works because of Dinerstein and Staub. They deliver lines that can sometimes be cheesy and make them sound as if you’d want someone to speak that level of cheese to you. They bring back yearning, and instead of making this feel like a micro-drama, it feels like a rom-com.
Offside is fun, charming, and proves that you can find love anywhere. It’s not something to run from, but something to bring you to life. Definitely one of our top 10 verticals of all time.
