How do you define the moment where everything changes? Do you see all of the seconds, the moments, the feelings? Do you feel overwhelmed by it? Or do you embrace it?
Every moment can be a time that changes you. Every decision made by those around you, every moment that you allow yourself to feel, it can all affect your life.
The butterfly effect is real, but when it changes your life, how do you hold on? How do you decide what is the right path to take.
You don’t.
A lot of time – those decisions are made for you – even when you want to make them for yourself. At least that is the way it is for Dash and Lily.
A LITTLE WHITE LIE
What I’ve always wondered is why both Dash and Lily aren’t completely honest with each other in this journal. Sure, you think that there is the possibility that you will meet, but there is also a possibility that you won’t.
You have a chance to be honest and real with someone that’s being honest and real with you. You have the chance to let down your walls.
And I hadn’t really realized just how many walls that these two keep up, until Dash is dishonest when he tells her that he’s reconnecting with an old friend. He has the chance to tell her that it’s Sofia and the fact that he doesn’t – I wonder where he felt the disconnect.
And then when he tells Sofia that he’s met someone and about the notebook, the way that she takes it makes me really dislike her. She’s trying to get in his head, because in my opinion – she wants the comfort that she gets from him. It doesn’t matter how it hurts or bothers someone else.
But Dash doesn’t see that she’s not perfect. Dash doesn’t see that she’s worried about her life changing and the comfort that she feels with her life and him in it.
Sofia says she’s happy for him, that he’s finally found that perfect girl in his head. he wants to know what that means. She says it’s that every guys has this girl in his head that he measures other girls against and lily is that girl. And if he never meets Lily, then she can always be that girl in her head.
She says that when you put girls on a pedestal they fall. And this will be one of the few times I will tell you that I agree with Sofia.
DATE WITH THE PAST
The truth is – Lily truly does have a PhD in happy and positive. And that’s not a bad thing at all. We need more of that in this life. We need more of the people that see the beauty in everything.
With everything that is happening in their lives, Lily feels so much about life and so much being up in the air. But notebook boy? He’s not up in the air. He’s helped her fell better about facing the future.
Dash is so much to her that it scares her. We all see it but you know, it’s easy to see things from the outside looking in. It’s harder to see when you are in the inside.
Dash doesn’t know how much he means to her, but Lily knows that he means a lot to her. She’s having a hard time, because that night she’s supposed to be going on a date, but she feels like she’s cheating on notebook boy. And that says a lot about her. She has fallen for the boy on the other side of the notebook and she knows it.
But doesn’t want to admit it.
And getting ready for the party, she’s distracted by the muppet that she made and turns it around so that it can’t see her. Not that it’s going to stop the guilt in her heart.
Her brother comes in and asks if she wants to play Catan. I get why he thinks that she would be at home – cause she always is. She is still pissed and says she doesn’t play with liars.
I get why she is mad and I also get why he kept it from her. He says he didn’t lie about Fiji and he only withheld. My thoughts – sure, he’s been an asshole, but like he was an asshole because the breakup hit him hard and he was dumb. He withheld because he loves his sister.
It doesn’t take long before they make up and you can’t help but support that because brothers and sisters should be that close. Lily hits him with some quick knowledge – that she can’t play with brother cause she has a date. She kinda wants to cancel, but he says never to cancel a date and hey she needs to take the advice.
Lily feels like she’s betraying Notebook Boy. But ummm, girl – you owe him nothing. He was reconnecting with old friend – his EX. And though she doesn’t realize that until Langston says that is code for an ex, she still needs to realize she’s better than being second best to anyone.
Lily realizes he’s right – not only to not cancel the date but that she needs to go get some experience. He tells her change is scary but if she wants to meet notebook boy, she needs to tell him.
Change is scary, but it can be the thing that changes your life.
BEST FRIEND KNOWS… NOTHING?
The one thing that Lily has always had on her side is Boomer. I can appreciate Boomer, because he may not always make the right choices, but he has the best of intentions to be there for his friends. Especially Dash.
He takes being a best friend seriously.
Langston has gotten in Lily’s head about who notebook boy and what reconnecting means. She goes to meet Boomer, but they are acting like they are spies meeting and not sitting at same booth. They don’t want Dash to find out they’ve met, but these two need to realize that the truth will come out.
It always does.
Lily wants to know if Dash has been hanging out with an ex. Boomer says that Sofia is a 1000 miles away – there is nothing to worry about. I mean it makes me so sad that Boomer is so in the dark and he’s just trying to be a good friend.
But he’s going to learn shit really quickly.
Like legit hours later at a party. Christmas Eve is always a bitch.
CHRISTMAS PARTIES ARE BULLSHIT
In high school – well as in most times in life – you will not be able to keep things from your friends. The truth is thats one of the best and the worst things about friends – you can’t hide things from them and you get checked when you do.
They keep you honest.
Friendship is difficult when you keep things and with Boomer it makes him feel a disconnect. He’s the friend that thinks the world of Dash, so Dash letting him down feels like pain.
When Boomer arrives at Priya’s party, he spots Sofia – who he thought was thousands of miles away. He’s confused as to what is happening, because as Dash arrives, Boomer realizes that Dash was with Sofia shopping and they even brought desert. You know – they were doing some serious couple shit.
Shit Boomer didn’t know because Dash didn’t bother to tell him.
Boomer is upset that Dash hasn’t told him what is going on. Boomer tells Dash that Sofia is bad with him. Sofia will make him follow around like a puppy. Boomer pulls out the journal and says Lily is better for him. She brings out the best for him. She challenges him. Boomer is definitely team Lily and we’re 100 percent behind this.
Because they are endgame.
Then there’s Edgar getting Lily. She’s wearing a Christmas dress, one that straight makes her look like a tree. It even lights up. Edgar is enthusiastic. He’s quite weird, I don’t trust him – regardless. He was an asshole to her and he’s not redeemable.
Lily and Edgar arrive at party. She is nervous for a party full of strangers. He grabs her hand and tells her not to worry – he’s with her. But he deserts her right away.
Boomer is with Dash, but has to go – he has a date. He says to beware of Sofia (which is sound AF advice) and not blow a good thing with Lily. Boomer leaves and misses Lily walking into party with Ethan.
I think that Boomer would have helped Dash and Lily get together at that point. He wouldn’t have let Dash and Lily go without knowing each other.
Edgar leaves Lily almost as soon as they walk in the door and Lily automatically feels uncomfy around all the girls. She’s not used to this.
Dash is reading the notebook in one room – while she’s at party. Edgar goes to throw coats in room. Lily is telling him that she’s been encouraged to be bold by him and it’s time to take what they have off the page and to meet in person. Dash is happy.
Writes her back and says he wishes she was there to.
I do believe that the two of them will feel an instant connection to each other, but I also think that they need to run the opposite way. Maybe a part of me wants to see them together but a bigger part of me enjoys the slow burn.
A MISSED CONNECTION AD IN THE MAKING
Parties always arrive around something and at Priya’s party it’s all about whatever she wants. I guess there is an age old question of Home Alone or Home Alone 2. And Dash makes some pretty valid points about the way that New York is laid out in the movie. Lily sees Dash talking about Home Alone 2 and starts to laugh. Everyone else is taking it so seriously, but for the second time in his life he’s noticed the girl that thinks she’s invisible.
Lily goes to the food bar, where I would be. But when you look to the left, there is Dash, also grabbing food. You want them to connect to each other. To find a piece of the soul that they. Dash compliments her. She says that she’s aware she looks ridiculous. He says no, he does really like her outfit. He says she looks great. She shows him it’s a christmas tree and lights up Lily hates when people label sweaters ugly. She stumbles over words and he asks how she knows Priya. She says she doesn’t know anyone.
He says he’ll let her rob the place as long as she takes him as a hostage cause he’ll use any excuse to leave the place. She asks if he’ll show her where they leave the jewels. They are trading banter. Dash knows Edgar – says he does whatever pops into his head. People love Edgar but he doesn’t get it.
Lily points out Sofia – that she’s the type that captivates a room and she bets she’s never been alone at a party ever. It’s like she speaks a different language. Dash says she speaks 6.
One is different, one is bound to be lonely.
Dash introduces himself to her and Sophia walks up to ask him for a dance. Edgar walks up and asks if Dash is hitting on his girl and for a second I thought I saw a look on Dash’s face that wished she hadn’t been with him.
Edgar thinks they should spice party up a bit. Sophia suggests they play truth or dare. Edgar says yes.
I think that Dash and Lily both reluctantly agree to not be the odd ones out.
Sofia asks Dash truth or dare and he chooses dare. She dares him to leave the party with her. Lily is staring at them and you can tell she’s waiting for him to say no. Dash says okay though, that he’ll leave.
After they do, Priya singles out Lily and asks craziest place she’s ever done it. Lily is uncomfy. Craziest place shes ever made out. Still uncomfy. Takes it down to held hands? Still nothing. Edgar is acting like he doesn’t know her.
Lily grabs her coat and wants to leave. Edgar doesn’t want her to leave, but I don’t buy that. I buy that he’s a dick. Offers to call her an Uber, as you know as a man should.
He asks if she’s really never been kissed. He goes into kiss her and she wants to be kissed, but like it shouldn’t be by this douche. Why do I think he’s a douche? Well his phone beeps when he goes into kiss her. He takes a look at his phone and he tells her surge pricing is too expensive and asks her to call an Uber for herself. Friends call him and he leaves her without kissing her.
THE MORGAN AND AN UBER
Sofia takes Dash blindfolded to The Morgan Museum. He hates museums cause of people, which is something I can get behind. Like let me have my Instagram moment and take a picture in front of a master work of art. But due to Priya’s Dad, who is on the board, they have it – a night to themselves.
Sophia tries to dare Dash to be with her. She wants to go back in time and fix them. Dash tells her it was him too and he was never himself or let down walls. Sophia says she was trying to help and he tells her he doesn’t need her to protect him. She agrees and sees that now. Sophia kisses him.
I admire the fact that Dash is starting to learn for himself, but I also am angry at him for not seeing that he’s making stupid choices.
And he is.
Because as he starts kissing Sofia and his bag falls to the floor and the notebook drops out, for the first moment – I don’t like him.
And that’s a hard pill to swallow.
