Personally, I’ve never liked fairytales. I mean, I get the allure of them. The whole idea that there is something more out there. But the whole notion of some knight riding up and saving me…
Well, no. I’ll pass.
But the idea of being a princess was always alluring. Having people wait on you, wearing the best clothes, all the jewels – all of that sounds wonderful. I mean, but doesn’t everything sound wonderful until you have to deal with the reality?
I think that reality of most things can be suffocating. They can be a feeling of not being able to breathe. They can be a feeling of being alone. And the reality, is that the grass always looks greener on the other side, but the thing is that it’s not always that way and we need to look at the beauty within our lives.
Because all that glitters is not gold.
SHE SAID YES
I think we all have a dream of what a proposal will be like. But here’s the thing – dreams don’t always come true.
First let me say, if you’re watching this season of The Crown, and you don’t see Prince Charles as a villain, I would really love to understand why. Because Charles is doing what he wants without thinking of the ramifications for others. Sorry, I don’t care if Camilla has a platinum pussy, it’ not okay.
But I regress.
Everyone is waiting for the phone call. What call? The call where Charles tells them if Diana said yes.
And she did.
But here’s the fault with Charles – he didn’t get down on one knee. And sure, that can be passable, if you know your knees are bad. But Charles didn’t get down on one knee for a reason – because he only bows to the sovereign. It’s a marriage proposal, asshole.
And then he just sends her back to London without a second thought. Like hi, lets get married, but get out? Ummm… fuck you.
Charles doesn’t know how to love, it’s apparent. And he’s like a girl who is hooked on the first dick that she had. Only he’s a guy hooked on the first vag.
MOVING ON UP
Diana has one final night with her flatmates, before she’s moved to Buckingham Palace. Better to have her safe and secure before everyone knows that she’s marrying Charles.
The Queen Mother has suggested that Diana get lessons on how to be a royal. They suggest they come from the Queen, but I had to laugh out loud when the Queen was like she can’t do it – she’s too much of a softie.
Diana is excited and I get the allure. She’s moving into a palace. The world wants to be her. She thinks what she is getting is a fairytale.
But what she’s getting is loneliness.
The first night is a family dinner, and they are all standing in a circle telling stories. Princess Margaret is talking when the page walks in with Diana and Margaret is not thrilled that her story was interrupted.
Diana heads straight to Charles, but he dismisses her quickly to do the proper protocols and curtesy to everyone. She doesn’t know what to do, but the way that they are all so dismissive to her and have the nerve to chastise her, well – I hate them.
It’s the next day – I think – and their announcement of the engagement is told to the world. The press is hounding them, asking questions, wanting the fairytale love story. And Charles couldn’t even be more of an ass than when someone mentions how in love they are and he responds, “whatever in love means.” Dick.
Shortly after their announcement, Charles leaves Diana to head to Highgrove. He leaves her at the palace – even though the next day he is leaving on a tour. She is disappointed and he can’t get out fast enough.
The look on her face is extreme and one has to wonder how cut off he is that it doesn’t phase him. He’s like peace out bitches.
And then the next day, Diana is waiting at the airport to say goodbye to him. It is pouring rain, she is nervous, and she’s waiting for him. He’s cold and distant, arriving late and leaving for 6 weeks. Diana says she’ll see him at the altar and when leaving Charles tells her that he asked Camilla to get in touch with her. He says if she wants company, Camilla is the best company. Diana doesn’t know why he would do that.
We do. He’s a dick.
LESSONS, LESSONS, AND MORE LESSONS
Diana has to learn all the ins and outs of being a royal. Her Granny is to be her teacher and the thing is – Granny is cold as ice. She tells Diana how wrong she is at everything and judging by how Diana curtsied to people, there are a lot of lessons to learn.
But what we see over the next few scenes is just how isolating Diana’s life was. She was stuck in the castle and she didn’t have anyone. The only interactions that she has with people are the maids and the people that bring the mail.
Charles won’t talk to her – he doesn’t contact her. The Queen doesn’t have anything to do with her. There is no one there for her. She’s stuck in her apartment, dead flowers, lots of mail, and loneliness.
She’s started to binge eat out of anger. To feel something. Her bulimia is starting. She’s feeling empty and alone. She wants to be loved, but love is the last thing that she feels.
EATING WITH THE ENEMY
The last thing that I would do if I was Diana is have any meal with Camilla. But she does and I wonder what Camilla was thinking also.
Claim your territory, I guess.
Camilla goes on and on about all the things Charles likes and doesn’t. All the things that Diana doesn’t know. She goes on and on about this and that and acting like Diana should know.
Personally I would have flown across the table and smacked the shit out of her, but like that is just me.
But Camilla overplays her hand and tells her about their pet names. When you do that Camilla, you overplay your hand. And this will play into the future because Diana will start to discover that there are more than two in this marriage.
Camilla will never go away.
Diana goes to Charles’ offices and says she needs to speak to Charles. His personal secretary says that he is unavailable. She thinks that they’re making excuses for him, and I don’t blame her. She is finding out that he is lying left and right. She finds out he’s on his way home, a day earlier than he told her that he was.
In the office she finds a drawing of a bracelet that the Prince has had made. At first she’s excited about the possibility of it being for her. But she finds that it’s a bracelet for Camilla.
Diana is destroyed and upset. I don’t blame her.
She goes running to her apartment and calls for the queen. She says that she needs to see the queen, this wedding can’t go ahead. It will be a disaster.
DOING YOUR DUTY
When Charles returns, he heads straight to Highgrove. He of course, meets Camilla. And as he leaves her heads to his rehearsal for, you know, his wedding. Diana is pissed and calls him out on going to Highgrove first.
He says that he went to call things off with Camilla and that it was a goodbye. The bracelet was a token, a momento. Look, what woman is like hey yes, please give me a memento of breaking me. Yes, I love that.
He says he also went to get a ring for Diana. It’s the ring of the Prince of Wales.
Their rehearsal happens and out of all the people that see that it’s not what Charles wants – it’s Princess Margaret.
Philip returns to the castle and finds the Queen, Queen Mother, and Princess Margaret sitting together. He wants to know how the rehearsal went and it’s Margaret who says that Charles is in love with someone else and this is a mistake.
Margaret asks how many times this family can make the same mistake. Forbidding marriages which should be allowed and paying the consequences each time. She says that they can stop this now.
But Phillip says Charles is marrying Diana. As time passes Charles will fall in love with Diana. Margaret says, rightfully so, that they should stop this now, but the Queen says no – without saying a word.
For a moment we get to see the Queen be a mother, but her sovereign head taking control. She heads to see Charles.
She tells Charles about Queen Mary and how her fiancé died. The family still wanted to have Mary, well, get married. So they put her with her love’s younger brother. There was no attraction and certainly no love, but they were encouraged to focus on duty – the bigger idea. And out of that work grew love.
This love and marriage lasted for 42 years and left the crown stronger while other monarchies fell. The Queen knows she’s not the most intuitive mother, but says she knows that he’s unhappy. She reminds him that she hopes that whatever doubts he harbors, he should follow in the example of Great Grandma and love and happiness will follow.
Charles looks at her and like her – he knows his duty.
Charles and Diana may not have been meant to be, but they weren’t stopped. They went to the altar and their love, their story is supposed to be the love that fairy tales are made of.
But what did I say about fairy tales? They are not always happy.
And for these two – it’s as if they are each walking to their death.