Having to type out that Meghan Markle felt suicidal is hard for me. It actually makes me shake. It’s almost been a year since I felt so low that I set out to take my own life, so I know the depths of pain that a suicidal person feels. Do I claim to know how Meghan Markle feels? No. But I do know that her admitting that she felt suicidal was one of the most courageous things that I have seen her do.
In last nights interview with Oprah, the Duchess of Sussex admitted that she had thoughts of self harm.
“I was ashamed to say it at the time and ashamed to have to admit it to Harry. But I knew that if I didn’t say it — then I would do it,” she said. “I just didn’t want to be alive anymore.”
Watching her admit that, tears started falling from my eyes. The pain that you saw in her face left me speechless.
She continued, “That was clear and real and frightening and constant thought.”
She went on to say that she thought that it would solve problems for everyone. And that enraged me. Not at her, but at the world around that continues to make women feel this way. It enraged me at the British Press who has been relentless in their scrutiny of her.
Things were so bad, that when they had an appearance, Harry tried to tell her that he didn’t think she could go. He was looking out for her and wanted to protect her. But the Duchess admitted to Harry that she didn’t think she could be left alone.
When she sees pictures of that night she says that she sees that they were just trying to hold on.
“And that’s I think so important for people to remember is you have no idea what’s going on for someone behind closed doors. No idea,” she said. “Even the people that smile and shine the brightest lights. You need to have compassion for what it actually potentially going on.”
