In an effort to build a space for queer people like myself, every Tuesday I’ll be posting interviews, opinion pieces, listicals, reviews, and more focused on the LGBT community (and occasionally about the Latinx community since I am Latinx.) Welcome to Queerly Not Straight! Enjoy and leave a comment below if you have a suggestion for what I should cover next.
Carlton still doesn’t owe Diamond an explanation about his bisexuality on Love is Blind: After the Altar. He didn’t owe her an explanation two years ago when all of this was filmed. And I stand by my stance that no one should push Carlton to expose parts of himself that he’s not ready to. Sexuality and the way we identify in the LGBTQ+ community is something raw and honest about ourselves that we should be able to choose when we tell people. So, seeing all these people online taking Diamond’s side and saying that Carlton should’ve said something from the start, really shows how biphobic people are and how they have no idea how the LGBTQ+ community actually works.
What did Diamond think was going to happen after he shared his sexuality with someone he trusted? Did she think he was going to see the next cabana boy or worker at the resort they were clearly staying in and go, “Woah. I’m bisexual so I’m totally going to hook up with everyone because bisexuals be horny like that. #FactsOfBisexualLife.” Wrong. It didn’t matter that there were other men around them while they were filming. Carlton was dedicated to her and did not deserve the vitriol that Diamond spewed when he was honest and she revealed her entitlement.
Carlton was with Diamond. That’s it. He wasn’t with anyone else. And Diamond acted like an asshole based on her own biphobia about who bisexual people are and what we see when it comes to relationships. Because believe it or not, we can be monogamous. I know, I blew your mind. We can focus on one person and love them deeply. We are capable of everything when it comes to a relationship and then some. And what we’re not going to allow is someone thinking they are owed a piece of us for reasons. Fuck that noise.
And you can tell it’s changed Carlton to the point where he believes the nonsense that people have been saying about him. Listen up, Carlton. You didn’t owe anyone anything 2+ years ago and you still don’t owe anybody any explanation. If they don’t like you being bisexual they can buzz off. And this isn’t me saying Carlton is a shining example of being a human that has done no wrong. None of us are free from mucking things up. But he is an example on how biphobia is weaponized against bisexuals due to fear and miscommunications to the point where we are gaslighted by it.
Even the argument between Carlton and Lauren was grounded in miscommunication. Lauren, bless her heart, was trying to give Carlton perspective because she cares for him and for Diamond. She’s being a good friend. But Carlton, he doesn’t want to understand Diamond’s feelings and just see things from her perspective. Even though he doesn’t voice it directly, his words tell a story of a man who just wants someone to tell him, “That sucks. That shouldn’t have happened. How can I help?” Instead they spiraled into an argument that surprised even me.
But even after all of that, I stand by Carlton and think he didn’t have to tell anyone jack shit about his sexuality. That was his business then and it’s still his business now. If people don’t like it, including Diamond, then that’s their problem. Carlton needs to live his most authentic life that honors who he is as a bisexual man. That’s it. And I hope that wherever he is right now he realizes that and that Lauren was playing it safe because she cares for two extraordinarily different people. And that’s the tea.
Queerly Not Straight posts every Tuesday with opinion pieces, listicals, reviews, and more focused on the LGBT community (and occasionally about the Latinx community since I am Latinx.)