…we can’t believe we just had to type that. Like, is the internet ok? Is everyone at Amazon ok? Were any of y’all ever ok? Anyway.
There’s news about Amazon, the erasure of big prosthetic penises, and Chace Crawford. If you care. Which, like, do you care? Do we? Can’t we just enjoy Sad Nate from Gossip Girl (Original Flavor)’s ass in that spandex suit and move on? No? Ok then.
So, here it is. In case you have no idea wtf we’re talking about but are experiencing FOMO from not knowing what’s going on with the latest Very Big And Important Entertainment News™, we are
happy mildly embarrassed to say we have you covered.
See, there was a calendar in 2019. It came from The Boys and showed Chace Crawford’s skin-tight costume rather, how you say…strained in the groinal area. Perhaps a rather substantially-sized eel had merely slithered into The Deep’s pants and set up shop there. Or whatever.
But then…Scandal! The D reverted to something of normal proportions by the time the series began its streaming run. It was as if someone had replaced the State Fair’s winner of the Biggest Eggplant contest with…just your average pickle?
And, evidently, people cared. They had questions—demanded answers. And so, we present you with BREAKING NEWS. The Great Big Mystery™ has been solved. Crawford is finally breaking his silence!
Here’s what he told the very serious reporters at The Daily Mail Australia, about this very serious issue:
“[Showrunner Eric] Kripke was like, ‘We get no notes from Amazon, but the first one we got was that can’t f**king happen, we’ve got to take that out,’ he said.”
So, there you have it. Your biggest question about The Boys, Chace Crawford, and erectile disappearance has been answered. Glad we can now all move on from this tragedy.