In an effort to build a space for queer people like myself, every Sunday (and additional days during Pride) I’ll be posting interviews, opinion pieces, listicles, reviews, and more focused on the LGBT community (and occasionally about the Latinx community since I am Latinx.) Welcome to Queerly Not Straight! Enjoy and leave a comment below if you have a suggestion for what I should cover next.
Sorry not sorry, but saying that someone “opted to gazump” your story planning to out someone doesn’t make you the hero. It makes you the villain. We’re looking at you Sydney Morning Herald for your audacious post about Rebel Wilson and her partner Ramona Agruma, an LA designer with who Wilson has been spotted together multiple times recently to no one’s questioning. Why? Because it’s her damn business. And no one else’s.
But the Sydney Morning Herald thought it was theirs. They oh so gracious contacted Wilson to tell her that they were pushing a story that would essentially out her to millions around the world. During Pride Month nonetheless. And what did Wilson do like a queen? She stepped forward and told her fans on Instagram that she’d always thought she’d always been searching for a prince when all this time she really needed a princess.
This could’ve been kept quiet. No one would’ve found out that the Sydney Morning Herald tried to do this to Wilson. But they decided to take it a step forward and out themselves. In a startling piece, they tried to make themselves the victim and said they contacted Wilson, out of an “abundance of caution and respect.” And they took it a step further by saying that Wilson’s choice “to ignore our discreet, genuine and honest queries was, in our view, underwhelming.”
Personally, I didn’t think this needed saying, but here we are.
Here’s the thing, Rebel Wilson doesn’t owe anyone her truth. She doesn’t owe anyone the deepest parts of herself or who she chooses to love. And it’s a disrespect to her and LGBTQ+ people around the world to basically out her at a time when she might have not felt comfortable yet. It should’ve been her choice. Instead, she was backed into a corner. And then she made a courageous choice for her future and that of her partner.
Still don’t get why forcing someone to out themselves is wrong? Let’s break it down a little more.
Every single member of the LGBTQ+ community has a story about coming out or will. And it isn’t as easy as you turning 18 and you’re out. Everyone has a different life and journey. That makes it so every story is unique and every coming out moment in turn. No two are the same. And because it’s so unique, it becomes a defining moment in who we are. Also, it becomes a defining moment in how the world perceives us. No one has the right to take that away.
Not family, friends, or random newspapers.
Ultimately, it’s no one’s business who Rebel Wilson is with. It could be a man or a woman. It’s her business. And only SHE gets to decide what parts she wants to share and how. Right now, she’s taken a hold of the situation in front of her. And she has the power and money to transition into this new phase of her life. But she’ll never have that choice to come out on her own terms. It was taken from her. And that should never happen, celebrity or not.
Queerly Not Straight posts every Sunday with opinion pieces, listicals, reviews, and more focused on the LGBT community (and occasionally about the Latinx community since I am Latinx.)