You’re laughing, crying, and maybe even hugging your family tighter after watching Instant Family. It’s one of those rare films that hits just the right mix of humor and heartbreak, but it leaves you wondering: Is Instant Family based on a true story? The short answer is yes. The longer version starts with “well, not really…”
So, as you may have already guessed, this is not a direct retelling. The current Netflix #1 movie in the United States, which was originally released in 2018, is very much inspired by real events from director Sean Anders’ OWN journey through foster adoption.
Starring Mark Wahlberg and Rose Byrne as Pete and Ellie Wagner, Instant Family introduces us to a couple who go from childless to parents of three overnight, after fostering siblings, including a defiant teenage girl (played by Isabela Merced, aka Dina from HBO’s The Last of Us).
From awkward parenting fails to heart-wrenching family moments, the story feels too genuine to be fiction, and that’s because it largely isn’t. Behind the scenes, Anders and his wife Beth adopted three children through foster care.
While some aspects of their story were fictionalized for the film, the emotional beats come directly from real experiences, including the terrifying, honest moment when the couple asks each other: Did we just ruin our lives?
Sean Anders’ True Story Behind Instant Family
Director Sean Anders based Instant Family on his and his wife’s own experience adopting through the foster system. Just like Pete and Ellie, they started out hesitant and uncertain, but their lives changed forever after deciding to take the leap.
Interestingly, Anders didn’t adopt a teenager himself.
In an interview with RogerEbert.com, he shared that while attending an adoption fair, he and his wife considered adopting a teen who had younger siblings. “We were really scared at the thought,” Anders said, but they were matched with her. However, she later chose to wait for her biological mother.
This young girl became the blueprint for Lizzy, the film’s teenage lead. Still, Anders’ story didn’t end there. They were soon introduced to another sibling group (ages six, three, and eighteen months), who would become their children.
As he explained to Fresh Fiction about Instant Family, “The story really is a fictional tale that’s inspired by my story. But it’s also inspired by the stories of a lot of other families that I met along the way.”
To ensure accuracy, former foster youth Maraide Green even consulted on the film. Green had herself been adopted as a teen and helped shape Lizzy’s voice, making her portrayal feel authentic without relying on tired stereotypes. “Even her adoptive mom was on set,” Anders added in the same interview.
Reality Meets Expectations
One of the most talked-about scenes from Instant Family (where Pete and Ellie contemplate walking away from it all) is pulled straight from Anders’ life.
“I’m not proud of it, but it’s very true,” he told Today. “When general audiences see that, I hear people gasping. But when adoptive families see it, they laugh because they’re like, ‘Oh yeah, we totally had that conversation.’”
But Anders also makes it clear: Wahlberg is not playing HIM. “I never felt like they were playing us exactly,” he said to Fresh Fiction. “There were definitely aspects… It’s very flattering, the thought of Mark Wahlberg playing me.”
Wahlberg’s warm, exasperated dad energy and Byrne’s grounded charm, however, show us something essential: the vulnerability and courage it takes to form a family in unconventional ways.
