I am going to ask myself what my life has come to that I am sitting here and writing a review for a vertical movie. I mean, it happens and sometimes you start watching bad stuff because well… it’s life and the world is a dumpster fire.
Welcome to my dumpster fire.
And watching things with horrible titles.
Pucked By My Brothers Rival – I mean, hockey era and all. I ain’t even mad about it. Though I am confused by all the plot holes and the bad script. Yet, that seems to be what verticals are.
However, I am going to say this – Pucked By My Brothers Rival was one of the better vertical movies I have ever seen. Look, I love a good enemies to lovers trope. And this movie has it.
THE BASIC PLOT
Basics? Jenny is an intern at a hockey camp where her brother is a captain on the team. Sam (the brother) is overprotective and hates this guy – Xavier. Now Xavier has the body of a greek god and he’s radiating charm. Every girl wants to be with him, but he doesn’t want them. What he wants is Jenny.
What I like about verticals is that even though it seems like the “mean girls” are getting ahead and winning – they eventually get knocked down a peg and put in there place. Lead by this mean girl Lisa – who deserves to go to jail for trying to film Jenny in the shower – these girls are miserable. Jenny manages to make it to the mens room where Xavier hides her.
He, however, saves Jenny and puts the mean girls in their place. He gives no f**** and walks out of the shower butt naked and breaks the phone. Xavier only had one towel and made sure to cover Jenny with it. What a gentleman.
And here’s where I get confused. He yells for the coach and says he wants them kicked out of the school. So confused, cause I thought that they were at a hockey summer camp/league. But hey the mean girls are gone and a wanna be Regina George with her minions is gone.
ATTRACTED
The attraction between the two is palpable. Then again – biology doesn’t lie. I about died from laughter when she said that his bulge was pressing into her. I mean even if it was the way she said it felt a little awkward – but then again, a lot of the dialogue in this show (and most verticals) is cringe.
But here’s the thing – cringe isn’t that bad sometimes. Sometimes it’s what we need. Life is a dumpster fire and sometimes a dumpster fire is what we need. Vertical movies make a lot of money for a reason – they are easily digestible and play on fantasies. They embrace tropes and give the viewer an escape from reality. They play on what is popular and embrace a formula. Where they fail though – in most – is the violence (everyone seems to slap eachother) and the way that kidnapping and I do hate the ones that use sexual assault attempts as a way to move the story forward.
It’s the leads in this show that draw you in. Evan Adams and Hannah Lowery have chemistry. You believe that they could be together and as you watch them fall in love – well, I couldn’t help but laugh and also wonder – what age are we playing here?
Jenny doesn’t want her brother to know that her and Xavier are seeing each other and that she’s falling in love. Sam is way, way over the top. He wants to check on her all the time and acts like she can’t make decisions on her own. Yes, she makes some dumb choices – we all do.
DECISIONS
The thing about decisions is that you can make them, but they can and do affect others. For instance – Jenny goes on a date with the largest investor to the team and Xavier shows up on the date. For some reason they all think it’s a good thing to have double date. BUT, I will say that it is wildly entertaining. He’s jealous AF, but so is she. The girl he brought to dinner is charming, and enjoying all of the arguing.
A little girl talk in the bathroom leads to Rosalie telling Jenny that Xavier will dump her and get tired of her. She tells Jenny that Xavier will get bored (basically) and she takes it to heart.
I think that we all can relate to getting mad over things that people say without checking facts. Jenny got so angry and their fight was over them both being jealous. And hey, jealousy is a green eyed monster. The thing is that these two don’t want to admit their feelings for each other, which makes them not on the same page.
When they do makeup – it’s sex. Again – relatable. But then again, it’s definitely movie heightened. If only we all could get someone to be that angsty and broody. Xavier, we recognize.
KEEP IT ON THE DOWN LOW
Jenny doesn’t want to go public – because her brother doesn’t want her talking to Xavier, let alone dating him. Big brothers are such a pain the backside. Xavier wants to tell everyone, but Jenny isn’t for it. He feels like he’s getting played. She feels like she doesn’t want to let her brother down. He feels like this is what it’s like to get played by a woman.
And all I can say is that we need and deserve to have the girl being the one that is charge. So tired of the same thing where it’s all about the guy being the one that “plays” the girl and she feels ick over it.
Again – verticals are asking us to suspend reality.
The two are trying to keep everything a secret, but Xavier is making sure that he’s everywhere she is. He is protective and sweet, making her feel like a queen. He tells her to stay away from Harrison – the sleaze whose date with her he crashed. Xavier needs to go home for a hot second.
Jenny doesn’t want anything to do with Harrison, but he assaults her and no one is willing to help. As Jenny’s screaming for help – people are twisting things around and making it look like she is being creepy and trying to be with Harrison. Sam stops it and of course stands up for his sister. Xavier sees the pics and heads right back to be with Jenny.
XAVIER COMES CLEAN
He knows that she didn’t want to be around Harrison and that he assaulted her. He comforts Jenny and has his thugs beat up Harrison. Xavier is kinda scary – telling Harrison that he will mail his fingers to his family if he touches Jenny ever again.
Xavier doesn’t really like the fact that when talking to Jenny, she doesn’t seem to see a future for the two. For him – he sees a future with Jenny. He wants to bring her home to meet his family. She says that she didn’t think that it was that serious.
Woah – that’s a big statement to say. And it was hurtful.
One can’t blame Xavier for being hurt and thinking that she just sees him as a human vibrator. Jenny tries to explain, but there is really nothing to say here.
The fight leads to them not speaking and it’s hard on them both. Fights are one thing – but they need to be tossed to the side when your girlfriend gets kidnapped.
CAN WE STOP KIDNAPPING
Guess fingers are not being mailed – because when Harrison kidnaps Jenny – the police take him with fingers intact. Xavier and Sam both go apes**t on Harrison. What I didn’t like was she was kidnapped in the first place and that an attempted sexual assault? Come on now. There are other ways to propel a story forward.
There are other types of conflict to move a story forward. Do they not know there are other ways to deal with a story and character conflict? Honestly – they didn’t even need those scenes. We could have just had Harris disappear and the two would have found their way back to each other. I know that these stories aren’t meant to be perfect – but they could be better if there was attention to detail and continuity.
Do Xavier and Jenny end up together? Yes. Of course they do. And they are cute together.
OTHER THOUGHTS
- Jenny being tossed in the pool – I hate those mean girls
- They made Xavier go without a shirt a lot – not complaining
- Do like the fact that they cover a lot of things in there and there is actual hockey being played
- Xavier’s hair care routine needs to drop – cause that hair looks amazing
- I had to laugh at misinformation that made Jenny think that Rosalie was Xaviers ex, but the reality is she’s his sister.
- Their argument scene was good.
- I think I need to learn to ice skate.
Pucked By My Brothers Rival is available now on Dramabox.
