100 Thoughts We Had While Watching ‘Grand Hotel’s “The Big Sickout”

We have a lot of fun watching Grand Hotel, and sometimes the best way to show how much fun we’re having is give you access to our unfiltered thoughts, as they happen. So this week, I though I’d take a different approach to this review, and allow you a glimpse into my brain as I watched this week’s episode of our favorite soapy show of the summer, titled “The Big Sickout.”

Starting with …

1. Alicia and Javi’s relationship might be my favorite thing in this show. In fact, I almost want to write a whole ass article on the way this show portrays latinx siblings in a way that’s real and also NOT stereotypical.
2. And let me be clear, I love a lot about this show.
3. But, so often, the portrayals of familial relationships within the latinx community are all about the shouting or about the supporting each other ONLY when things get bad. Not here.
4. “If you are as good at being a dad as you are at being a brother …”
5. MY HEART.
6. Also “Common Sense” Javi is the best Javi.
7. Don’t ask me wtf Santiago is doing now. I have no explanations.
8. Like, does he think he’s helping? The tough love now, after the way he’s treated Javi all his life, well it ain’t flying. Though I will admit Demian Bichir could sell absolutely anything and I’d buy it.
9. Trust Helen.
10. NOT MATEO.
11. I can’t wait for the “I’ll destroy you” part of this tale.
12. Because the truth always comes out. And just 4 episodes in, if I’m sure of ONE thing, it’s that I’d love to see Mateo destroyed.
13. How is this writing sample idea gonna go wrong?
14. It always does with these two.
15. Also, Gigi, he ain’t wrong, that dress looks fantastic. When I grow up I want to BE Roselyn Sanchez.
16. I like that Javi ain’t like, that job is beneath me. He’s an ass sometimes, but he’s not THAT ass.
17. “We can do this”
18. But can you?
19. Dang, Javi. I agree, that look is working for you. But then again, most looks do.
20. Everyone on this show is super pretty.
21. Also, Alicia, every time someone says “we’re coworkers” that means they’re more.
22. I didn’t make the rules.
23. That’s just the way it is.
24. Okay, that thing Santiago did in the kitchen was sorta impressive.
25. I’ll give him THAT.
26. Look, Carolina, you aren’t my favorite, but I’m gonna give you some advice, from woman to woman: if he doesn’t want you, then move on. Find someone who does. You deserve that.
27. Alicia’s dorky ass celebration at hearing Danny tell Carolina he wasn’t interested was the cutest thing ever.
28. Alicia is the cutest.
29. I still think she and Javi should be protected at all costs.
30. OMG THE LADY AT THE SPA
31. TALKING ABOUT PRINCESSES BEING ABLE TO CLEAN
32. I’M DYING.
33. Also why is everyone on Jason’s ass? He’s the one of the few truly nice persons in this freaking place.
34. Plus he wasn’t really doing anything too bad.
35. If the point was to show he was mentally on strike, you had to show it!
36. “Why are you always on his side?”
37. GOOD
38. QUESTION.
39. DAMN
40. GOOD
41. QUESTION
42. “You’re not one of them, you’re one of us.”
43. Burn.
44. Mrs. P and Mr P are goals.
45. By first husband, do we mean Carolina and Yoli’s dad?
46. THE PLOT THICKENS.
47. And boy, at this point, the plot is so thick it’s almost tar.
48. A girl admitting she was jealous? What’s going on here?
49. WHAT IS THIS MADNESS?
50. Also, how do these two continue to have so much freaking chemistry? And what obstacle is the show gonna throw their way? It’s episode 4, and this feels too easy. I know TV. That, and I got trust issues.
51. Alicia is the cutest.
52. I also think she’s cute, Danny. We all think she’s cute.
53. Gigi went to tell Santiago, which I expected, but is still nice to see. Hear hear for two morally grey characters who still love each other.
54. Gigi’s face when she asks “you won’t allow it”?
55. HER FACE. I need that in a gif.
56. Mateo looks HOT. I feel wrong for even thinking it, but I’ll console myself by thinking that’s just Shalim Ortiz and not the character he plays.
57. OMG
58. YOLI
59. AND MARISSA
60. YOLI
61. AND
62. MARISSA
63. YES
64. PLEASE
65. I NEED THIS. I DIDN’T KNOW I NEEDED IT, BUT NOW THAT IT’S A POSSIBILITY, I NEED IT TO BE ABLE TO BREATHE.
66. Yes, Mrs. P! Read Santiago the riot act. HE DESERVES IT.
67. I have a lot of feelings.
68. They manifest in all caps.
69. Javi saying no is some character development.
70. What’s going on?
71. I think I’m supposed to be glad Santiago is trusting Mr.s P, BUT WHAT IF THAT PUTS HER IN DANGER TOO?
72. Alicia and Danny having a heart to heart is too much for my shipper heart. I WAS ALREADY IN, OKAY?
73. My heart is delicate!
74. Look at that, Alicia. You two DO have a lot in common.
75. Dang it, THAT KISS.
76. First it’s sweet.
77. And then he puts his hand in her neck and it’s HOT AF.
78. I can’t understand how this dichotomy exists, but here we are and I dig it.
79. I SHIP IT. Did I say that before? I SHIP IT.
80. Did we come up with a ship name yet?
81. Okay, but where is the money coming from, Santiago?
82. Yay, go against the blackmailer.
83. NOT.
84. No, but seriously, that’s your idea? That isn’t even an idea, it’s inaction.
85. Victor, of course you went to Carolina. Now, the question is: WHY are you so interested in helping Felix?
86. OH, YOLI.
87. YOU ASKING HER OUT.
88. Awww.
89. Javi and Ingrid, SITTING ON A TREE.
90. OH
91. JASON
92. Fuck. I love Javi and Ingrid, but Jason’s face broke me.
93. WHAT DID THEY FIND?
94. WHAT? I need Mr. P to be okay.
95. 4 episodes in and Danny is already onto Mateo.
96. I’m SHOOK.
97. Also, I kinda love those montages with Danny walking. What can I say?
98. EXCEPT FOR THE PART WHERE HE’S GOT A GIRLFRIEND.
99. ONE THAT ISN’T ALICIA.
100. WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?

What did you think of “The Big Sickout”? Share with us in the comments below!

Grand Hotel airs Mondays at 10/9c on ABC.