‘Britannia’ Episode 1 Review: Don’t Get Attached

We’re all looking for new stuff to watch, so with Epix announcing the premiere of season 2 of Britannia, which has already been confirmed for a season 3, I figured it was time to jump on this bloody bandwagon and see where it lead me.

And thankfully, I don’t have to start in the middle, we’re getting season 1 before the second one premieres in the US, so here I am. Britannia episode 1. Ready to get drenched in blood and absolutely not get attached to anyone, because we all know how well that goes in shows like this one.

No, seriously, half the friendly faces we see in the first episode are already dead by the end of it. And boy, was this bloody and brutal and yet no one got sexually assaulted (and only one person got buried alive!), so I’m going to count the small victories and ride them out, okay?

Britannia Season 1 Episode 101

So yes, this has big Don’t get Attached energy, a la Game of Thrones, though I feel certain that, at least for season 1, we can get attached to Cait and Kerra, the two female characters who get more screen time in the Pilot. I also feel very confident in my hatred for Aulus, especially after the whole “I am Rome, and where I walk is Rome” conqueror speech that endeared him to absolutely no one. I might root for his demise as much as I could end up rooting for other people’s happiness.

Oh, and I root for a Queen Antedia/Kerra confrontation, too. Give me strong women fighting each other and I am absolutely in.

And baths. I will also root for all of them to take baths. I’m pretty sure that’s going to be a constant.

I will also be rooting for the Romans to go away, or lose, or both. That’s just the nature of these shows, you always root for the oppressed, or at least for the ones who were just minding their own business and got attacked. Hopefully they can stop fighting amongst themselves long enough to actually do some damage against the Romans, because I’m not really in for the Romans picking the few familiar faces one by one.

Britannia Season 1

Yet, I wouldn’t be surprised. Don’t get attached. I’m not only repeating it for you, but also so I don’t forget.

Britannia Episode 1 isn’t groundbreaking, and at times it feels too long and entirely too bloody, but it is interesting, and the potential for this historical drama will probably keep me watching, especially in a world where it’s hard to get distracted by many other things, cause, you know, there’s this thing called a pandemic.

So far, though, I’m only here for the women. And whether I end up liking this show or hating it will probably depend on how they’re treated.

Things I think I think:

  • The first words anyone utters on this show are “Oh, Shit.” So that sets the tone.
  • But seriously, am I the only one who watches shows like this one and thinks: oh, they must smell?
  • I expected more nudity, and I, for one, am glad the show didn’t provide.
  • But all the violence was there, though.
  • Especially with how wet they are all the time.
  • So long, Antonius. I didn’t really want to like you anyway, so good riddance.
  • Veran is the creepiest dude in all of TV, I must say.
  • The Outcast, really? Like, REALLY?
  • BUT WHAT IS THE END OF THAT STORY WITH THE TWO CHICKENS AND THE CAIRO MARKET?

Britannia airs Sundays at 9/8c on Epix.

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