‘Britannia’ Episode 7 Review: Where are the interesting people?

Britannia has, at times, suffered from having too many characters, and also from the fact that it’s been very hard for us to figure out who exactly we should care for. This episode makes that point all the more clearer, because the lack of Antedia, Aulus and Kerra makes the episode, well, shall I say slower than usual?

Not that this show is ever, you know, lively. But, after an episode that I dared to called the best this show had been, it’s more than a tad disappointing to get literally the worst episode of the season – by far. It’s like I’m being punished for something.

Let’s call this subplot city, and since we usually have time caring about the main plots, you can imagine how that goes.

It drags. Boy, does it. And this episode isn’t even as visually stunning as the last few episodes have been, even if the shots of the river covered in mist set the stage for this episode well, so there wasn’t even anything to distract me from the fact that I was bored, bored, bored.

The show just needs to get on with it, and with on I mean, literally, anything. War, destruction, the two demons at the center of this nonsense facing each other, I’ll take anything. Just, for the love of God, something needs to happen.

Let’s focus on Puica and Loka for a second. Guys, come on. I know there’s a time for everything, but why are we procrastinating here? Get on with it, please. Spare us this endless wait.

Now that Puica is not possessing Divis, though, I assume this might actually go somewhere. Divis was always a very bad man to possess if we wanted this to go anywhere, because Divis – despite the fact that he could be better – is very, very boring.

But then again, let’s be fair, so is this show. With only two episodes to go in season 1, I’m not sure I care about where this is going, what’s coming next or who’s gonna win. I basically just care about getting through it.

Soon. Soon.

Things I think I think:

  • Cait’s dad (whose name I cannot, for the life of me, remember) really doesn’t need to start every sentence with “I may be blind, but …”
  • I’d forgotten about Ania and Phelan, and if I’m being honest, I was fine with them not coming back, ever.
  • Let’s not even talk about Brutus and Philo. I don’t even think I’d mentioned them before in my reviews, that’s how little they matter.
  • But if I am bringing them up it’s so we can talk about their whole “I don’t want to talk about heads”/”These things happen” conversation because …what? These things happen? To whom? I don’t go around beheading my friends, I promise you.
  • Divis’s whole “It’s my mission to protect you” now is the most anticlimactic shit ever. We could have told you this 5 episodes ago, Divis. Why did you have to make it so hard?
  • Everyone is always stoned.

Britannia airs Sundays at 9/8c on Epix.

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