Over the past few weeks, I have been missing. I have been fighting through some personal issues and fighting through blood clots in my lungs. I’ve been tired and weak and too afraid to break.
Knowing that a new episode of Ordinary Joe was coming, I sat and watched the two episodes I missed (I will write reviews for those) and tonights episode. It’s kinda weird that the episode had so much breaking down, but from the character that I dislike the most.
That all being said, I was thankful. I was so thankful that I watched these episodes in a row. I was so thankful that in front of me was the knowledge that it’s okay to break, it’s okay to feel, and it is also okay to forgive yourself for what is happening or has happened.
And sometimes you have to break in order to put pieces back together.
Ordinary Joe‘s writers have this distinct gift of making your heart and mind realizing that the what if’s in life are okay to ask, they are okay to feel, and they are okay to let go of.
It’s okay to reset.
One of the through lines through all parts of the story is a memory from Amy’s childhood. She was always passionate, wanting more in life. She wanted to stand up to injustice. She wanted to make the world a better place.
And we see a flashback of her as a kid, telling her parents that she wants to attend a protest. Her Dad says no, but her Mom says yes. The protest is in Miami, and from what I gather it was the protests of Elian Gonzalez being returned to Cuba.
She tells her parents that she doesn’t have to go. She wants to, but she doesn’t want them to fight. Her Mom says the most important thing she will do in her life is to raise your voice for what you believe in.
And honestly, that’s some solid ass advice.
She remembers the protest and standing up and how good it felt. But she remembers returning to the car with her parents, when the cops come up on them. They arrest her father, and well lets just say that they weren’t kind in any way.
And her father tells her that there is a time to speak out and a time to keep things in. She can’t keep it in though, she is in pain. She wants to protect her father and throws a rock at the car out of anger.
Turns out Amy has a record, that was expunged. But because of that instance in her life, she has a distrust in cops.
Amy isn’t my favorite character, but I will say this – I do feel bad for her. I feel like there is no part of her that isn’t breaking right now, because she is filled with regret. She slept with Bobby and then he died after being assassinated. She can’t stop thinking about the moment. She is so wrapped up in not breaking, but she’s barely holding her shit together.
And to top it off, she thinks that she needs to throw herself into planning Bobby’s funeral. His wife can’t do it, because she is trying to be there for the kids.
Amy is acting so unfazed, which if we’re being honest I don’t blame her for. Sometimes it’s easier to not feel, because when you feel, you run the risk of not being able to stop feeling.
Grief is a strange thing. A really strange thing. It can be all encompassing, but it can be something that you aren’t willing to face too. She won’t let anyone be there for her.
Joe is trying to help her and doesn’t know what to do. She won’t let him in, so he gives her a gift to try to make her feel better. But she tells him to just learn the song that Regina wants him to sing.
She is stressed over everything, but then finds out that Regina declined the offer of succession for Bobby’s seat, so Amy was appointed to his congressional seat.
And if matters can’t get worse – the hotel that she had been at with Bobby called. Eric went to retrieve a watch that they had found. Eric can infer – since it was found in Amy’s room – that she was up to something she wasn’t supposed to be.
But Amy is avoiding everything. Joe is trying to be there for her – even cancels his tour. He gets advice from his Mom, that reminds him that right now, Amy is doing things that feel rational to her, but at one point she will break and she’s gonna need her village then.
Joe knows that means that he needs to get her village to help her. Like a good husband he charters a flight to get her parents to her.
My heart breaks when Amy broke. She fell into her Mom’s arms and you have to smile when you know that Amy has her safety. Everyone needs that – so even as you are crying, you are holding your shit together because you’re happy Amy has the person she needs.
Amy’s Mom is like why didn’t you call me – I woulda come sooner – I had to hear on news you were shot. Amy is like cause every time I stop, I am back at the shooting and I am trying really hard to keep the feeling in a box so I can be the person everyone needs me to be.
Amy, people need you to be okay. You can’t lock your feelings in a box, because when you do you lock the people that love you out. And then you are left with nothing, but emptiness. People make you feel whole. They give you purpose. They make you feel at peace. They give you love.
Things for Amy are about to get worse. She delivers a beautiful eulogy for Bobby, but by flashing that watch around she lets Regina know that she slept with Bobby. And this is going to inspire Regina to be a whole new level of petty – she decided to accept the nomination for Bobby’s seat.
Her office will be in touch.
And as if you think that Amy couldn’t be having any worse of a day, Joe tells Amy that he didn’t know how to help her, cause he’s been checked out. No more secrets. Amy tells him that she slept with Bobby. He’s speechless and hurt. He walks away.
He won’t sleep in the same bed as her. This feels like the beginning of the end for them and I won’t be sad over it at all.
Amy has made mistakes. I get it. I also understand forgiveness. But even with all the forgiveness in the world – I don’t think Amy would be able to forgive herself.
Amy may not be my favorite, but even I have a heart and don’t believe that she deserves what is happening to her in this timelines. Dead asleep, she gets a phone call. It is Jenny telling her she has 90 seconds to get presentable, they are coming for her.
She quickly calls Joe tells and he tells her turning in Bobby had blow back.
Before she knows it the FBI is at her door.
Joe is getting his own blow back. Everyone thinks he is a traitor. He explores that in therapy and tells his therapist that he doesn’t believe that he did the wrong thing.
He said that he was loyal to the oath, the way his uncle taught him to be. Joe says that Frank practically walked him into the academy. He says that Frank got better when he became a copy because he had a hard time when his Dad died on 9/11. Joe wishes that people would have told him that the detective badge comes with all this BS, but at least when he was a beat cop he had decisions to make himself.
Shrink says he needs a reset. Shake off what happened yesterday, and start today like it is his first day on the job. He’s allowed Joe to go back to active duty.
In every version of Joe, he’s taking on every burden for everyone. He is trying to be the man that his Dad would be proud of, but it isn’t the man his uncle wants him to be. But that comes with repercussions – because people are going to expect you to be that person always.
Only for Joe, what he wants to be is a good cop. The way his father was a good cop.
When Joe returns to the station, he is faced with his Uncle being as cold as possible. Frank feels Joe betrayed him. Joe says no, I became the detective you always wanted me to be. Frank tells Joe that he embarrassed the force.
Amy is dealing with things on a new level. Bobby’s wife, Regina, is online standing by her man and saying Amy is disgruntled ex-mistress. She’s trending online, the world tearing her apart.
When she retreats to go back to her apartment, it’s been trashed. She turns to Joe, who also offers her a reset. They talk and Joe invites her to stay with him until it’s safe for her to be alone.
The two of them staying together isn’t something I agree with, because I don’t think she’s a good influence. However, what I do also think is that Joe will learn that on his own.
Joe may not like what is happening, but I don’t think her telling him to go back and ask to be reassigned to be a beat cop again is the best road. Joe has to face what is there. We all do in our lives.
Avoiding it will only make it worse.
One thing that I love about Joe – in any version – is that he is always there for others. And Uncle Frank showing up, well, he’s not going to be giving up on him either.
Joe calls Amy for help. She and Eric need to stay with Chris so that he can take Frank to get help.
Frank disappeared when Chris was a baby. He doesn’t know about Chris’s condition and you can see that he’s confused. He doesn’t know the questions to ask, and he’s kind of cold, but tries to relate to Christopher.
There is an emptiness is Franks eyes. A wow what have I missed. But Chris just wants to understand why Frank does alcohol and drugs if they are bad. He knows that he’s an alcoholic, because his Grandma talks loud on the phone.
Frank is sick. He’s got alcohol hepatitis. Jenny’s Dad examined him and he says that he can get Frank a place in rehab, that they don’t have to worry about the cost, he’ll cover it. Joes like we can’t accept that. He’s like how long are you gonna be mad at me for being a prick to you 10 years ago. Joe is like I didn’t realize you stopped.
Jenny’s Dad is an asshole, but he tells Joe that he was wrong. Everything that Joe is doing so that Jenny can achieve her dream shows him that he was wrong about Joe.
When Joe talks to Frank to tell him that he needs rehab, Frank fights him at first. He is living with this guilt that he let his brother down. He said that he would take care of his brothers family and he didn’t. Joe says that he loves his uncle, and he won’t bury Frank next to his father.
Frank needs to forgive himself. and it’s a beautiful thing when he allows himself to know that he can restart and go to rehab.
OTHER THOUGHTS ON NURSE JOE TIMELINE
- Amy and Eric deciding to adopt – I love it.
- Amy in this timeline at least is someone I can stand.
- Jenny having a hard time being away is expected.
- Amy’s professor is mean.
- Joe gives good pep talks.
Ordinary Joe airs Monday’s on NBC.