When the trailer dropped for Cocaine Bear, I was instantly intrigued. Hollywood has been making such highbrow movies and I just wanted to sit back and watch something silly. Something that would help me unwind. And something that would bring me back to simpler times of human versus animal/monster/giant shark. But Cocaine Bear was not it. Instead of hitting the mark and quenching my thirst for sheer ridiculousness, it bore me and gave the best parts away in the trailer.
Basically, Cocaine Bear didn’t understand the assignment.
People watch these kinds of movies for the sheer ridiculousness of it all. And sitting down to watch this movie I was expecting more superhero jumps, wild feats, and just odd moments that make you go, “Am I really seeing this shit?! Man, it’s a cinematic masterpiece.” That’s what the trailer promised, after all. Instead, I was bored. It was just a bear attacking people with highly gory scenes. That’s it. Nothing truly silly or weird except what was in the trailer.
Cocaine Bear should’ve taken inspiration from shit show greats like The Meg, Sharknado, Tremors, or even The VelociPastor. Hell, M3GAN just came out and it was sheer brilliance for the fact that it didn’t take itself too seriously and made you wonder if you were in a fever dream. Instead, Cocaine Bear felt like Hollywood was like, “Hmmmm, how can we make a highbrow movie about a bear who eats a lot of cocaine?” As a person who loves wild movies like this, this movie missed the mark by miles. People want a shit show. People want to have fun. And this movie certainly wasn’t it.
Ultimately, the only highlight of this movie was Keri Russell in a pink jumpsuit and 80’s hair, especially when holding that gun.
Cocaine Bear is playing in theaters and available on digital.
1) Had been looking forward to this one, for reasons very similar to yours, but for now, my wanted double feature of this and Blood And Honey is on hold.
2) You may have hit it right on the nose, that the trailer seems to have all the good bits that are meant to draw you to see the movie, which we *are* kind of used to by now, but again, it seems to have promised more than it delivers, by your review.
3) re: M3gan: If I may make a heartfelt suggestion, when the Blu-Ray is mastered, *please* give the option to skip *that* opening commercial. It is the only blemish on one of the best horror movies I’ve seen in years. I DO understand why it’s there, foreboding/shadowing and plot point/device, but I didn’t think it could be possible to outtreacle those infamous Sarah McLachlan infomercials from the late 90’s/early aughts. Someone said it was an homage to the in-film ads in the original RoboCop, which I can see, but I just found it jarring compared to the darker tone the rest of the movie had. Personal opinion.