September 25, 2019 was a bittersweet day for Darvey shippers. It was both the end of an era—the Suits series finale aired on that date—and the culmination of 12* years, nine seasons, so much pain and denial, and (finally) coming home. Sure, we can think about them, frozen in time in their happy moment. Maybe we can even stop that series finale and only focus on the moment when Harvey Specter finally got to dance with his wife. But it’s also nice to wonder “what if” they were still here with us. (Which, to be clear: we live in the universe in which they are still out there somewhere, even if we don’t get to see them anymore. Argue with someone else.) So, to that end, let’s get creative and have some fun.
Four years ago today, Donna Paulsen and Harvey Specter said “I do.” That means, according to some wedding nonsense websites that I’ll always hate myself for visiting—yes, even for Darvey research. Even their power has limits—they would be exchanging some gifts that are…a little bit too perfect. Because, see, the “traditional” fourth anniversary gift is fruit or flowers. And the “modern” option is…appliances.
This is too easy. Fruit? As we know, sometimes, Harvey thinks about tomatoes; and as we often forget, tomatoes are technically a fruit. In fact, according to Harvey, “they’re the most sensual fruit.” Of course, we’re only including this absurdity here because he and Donna both were so amused by the whole tomato conversation (and totally, weirdly, flirty while recapping it and mocking Louis). Oh, and! Small detail: “We both know it’s really strawberries and whipped cream.” Which, first of all, after everything Darvey went through in season 7, it was an experience watching such an exchange so early in the series’ eighth season…and, uh, yeah. That’s the biggest reference to “The Other Time” that wasn’t actually just calling it “The Other Time” whilst awkwardly dancing around the issue.
So, clearly, the fourth anniversary of the Darvey wedding and Suits series finale needs to be spent with both fruit and flowers. And by fruit, we mean strawberries…and by flowers, we mean whipped cream that’s used to draw flowery-type shapes…wherever they want. (Actual flowers are fine, too, but eh. Whatever. Donna would probably have to buy those for herself, if the past is any indication.)
Now, the appliances. Two words: Can. Opener. Now, technically, we think of appliances as large things—electrical ones, even—but this still works. No, seriously. Let’s argue the case.
According to Dictionary.com, an appliance is “an instrument, apparatus, or device for a particular purpose or use.” And a can opener is exactly that. Specifically, it’s a device for the particular purpose of opening cans. (Of course, they also use it for driving the fandom batshit trying to figure out what Darvey did in that pre-trial ritual of theirs). If that doesn’t work for you, we have further evidence that a can opener is a perfect fourth anniversary gift. See the alternate definition: “a piece of equipment, usually operated electrically, especially for use in the home or for performance of domestic chores, as a refrigerator, washing machine, or toaster.” A can opener is definitely “for use in the home or for performance of domestic chores.”
Alternatively, well…we have another great appliance gift in mind. And we’re pleading innocent by way of “the dictionary made us do it.” The definition used toasters as an example, so we have no choice but to make this particular reference. Sorry, not sorry. Old-timers in the Darvey Army know all about toasters. If you don’t, Suits creator Aaron Korsh sure does. Just ask him.
Then again, since kitchen appliances and Darvey are so intrinsically linked, maybe they’ll start a new tradition. Or, maybe “Harvey” will need a few new handbags. The third anniversary was leather, so…yeah. You never know. Maybe the Paulsen-Specters (Specter-Paulsens? Specters? Paulsens? Choose your own adventure on that married last name!) just stick to what’s worked all these years.
But wait! Harvey and Donna aren’t the only ones who should get to celebrate this glorious day. As fans, we deserve our own fruit, and flowers, and
toasters appliances in Darvey’s honor. And well, it’s technically Louis and Sheila’s fourth anniversary, too. May Louis enjoy all the prunies he wants to honor this fruitiest of anniversaries. (…and whatever to Sheila because ugh. Sorry, not sorry.)
Now, we have a
Darvey wedding video Suits series finale to go rewatch for the 12th* time. Excuse us while we go ugly cry.