Heres’s the thing about The Serpent Queen, sometimes it looses and sometimes it wins and when it wins with a great episode it wins big. So, we’re a little confused that this episode was a mixture of both. This episode was a lot of win, but still, meh. Yet, we’ll take the meh, because the first episode of the season was a lot of well… snooze and confusion.
Lets just start by saying that the King is alive. Yes, the King wasn’t in the church that was set on fire, and hey, win. At least with him alive, we know that Catherine isn’t going to fully loose her s**t. She’s of course going to go half way cray, cause she does love her son. Yes, I think that Catherine is bats*** cray, but I do believe that she loves her kids. However, the way that Samantha Morton portrays Catherine is so iconic that it leaves you wondering what it is that she loves. Does she love them for who they are or does she love them for the power they can give her?
But back to the fire. Cause there are so many questions. Now we know that everyone in that church was locked in, so imagine our surprise when we see that there are no bones in the church. They all escaped. This writer isn’t religious and isn’t all about miracles, so not going there. But the big question remains – how did they escape?
Well, we’d like to believe that we’ll get the answers, but we all know that doesn’t always happen in TV. Nah, they’d rather leave you wondering what is happening and what you can or can’t believe in. What we do believe is that we know nothing and the history books didn’t prepare us for this kinda of craziness.
It didn’t prepare us for the French Court being like highschool and you’re wondering what table you’re eating at during lunch. Louis and Antoine are of course in trouble for taking Charles out. Charles isn’t in trouble with Catherine though. She’s the dotting Mama, and part of us thinks it is because she’s afraid that one of her other kids could ascend to the thrown and she can’t control them.
At lunchtime, all these juvenile people are blaming each other for what has happened, but we all know who is was. The Bourbons are not too happy with the Guises and well, rightfully so. François put everyone in this situation by his secrets. But if we’re being real, it was his Mama who needs to be the one to pay penance. That woman is evil. Catherine knows that François is guilty as sin, but she also knows that this is becoming a potential war of religions.
Say what you want to say, but Catherine has this under control. She’s good at manipulating every situation and we are just sitting her wondering how we’re supposed to root for that. Like gurl, for real.
As Protestants and Catholics prepare for the prepare for the possibility of war and Catherine knows that she needs to stop it. Charles doesn’t really know what to do, but we’re gonna blame that on his stupidity and we’ll also not talk about his need for a dominatrix. How mortifying that his Mama walks in on it though. Like we’re not gonna be shocked if he doesn’t know how to get it up again. But that’s probably a future issue.
Montmorency is out for blood, because you know his adopted daughter person was the minister and he thinks that François should pay. We all do, however we’re gonna have to be on Catherines side because like war isn’t ever a good thing. As a matter of fact, we’d like to avoid at all costs. Montmorency has every reason to want to avenge his fam, but we have to admit that we were kinda happy when he acts all midevil. But there was this relief on his face when he finds out that the people in the church probs escaped.
What I was bored of quickly was Catherine’s kids. They are all acting as though being royal is a public service, and it’s like no. The amount of delulu that they all have thinking that they are doing something special is annoying. Alex and Charles are on a whole other level. Margot and Elizabeth are on the opposite ends of delulu, but delulu none the less.
The whole speech about helping the poor by buying a dress had the potential to make me piss my pants laughing from the total lack of reality that they all experience.
What cracks me up is that Catherine is bouncing all around the castle trying to fix things and her big plan is to build a castle or building or something. If that’s all it takes, are we all just really doing things wrong these days making it life more complicated? We’re apparently talking about the Palais des Tuileries, which doesn’t stand anymore, so hey, we’re willing to take on this history lesson. What isn’t interesting about a palace that says we’re better than you.
How is she going to get the money? Normal way. Manipulation and a lot of backstabbing. So she threatens the Guises and then says that the first person that she’s going to get to kick in – she knows who. Diane de Poitiers.
Would have been happy to never see Diane de Poitiers again, but here we are. She’s finally acting like a Mom, because she is willing to dive in, if Catherine makes it so that her daughters can inherit her estate. Catherine makes the deal, but do we know if Catherine will do it? Na. She ain’t the bestie that you can count on.
Chaos. Drama. Oh ya, and François riding to an opening and seeing that the people from the church are still alive. He’s just not having a good time – all sorts of witnesses that can start to attest to his sins and lies. He’s a murderer – we all know this – but he’s leaving witnesses along the way. Something that even Catherine told him wasn’t a smart move.
Oh The Serpent Queen, you truly a crazy b****!
