If there’s anything that I learned from You, Me & Her it’s that it’s never too late to figure out something about yourself. At the center of this comedy drama are Mags (Selina Ringel) and Ash (Ritesh Rajan), a married couple that have been together for 10 years. She is obviously stressed about her work and life situation. And he has checked out to the point where she’s essentially become his mother in a lot of respects. And they end up going to Mexico for a little rejuvenated vacation that leads to Mags discovering that she’s into women.
WARNING: Spoilers ahead for You, Me & Her!!!
Mags bisexual exploration or awakening with this mysterious stranger Angela (Sydney Park) is exhilarating. It’s also really intimate. Ash doesn’t really see her. And while you’re watching you question if he has ever seen her. Because all it took was Angela acknowledging who Mags was and still is for Mags to feel that spark within her and between them. And I do think that it’s special to see the exploration of bisexual journeys in the film. It’s especially special because it isn’t a teen/20 something finding it out. We have awakening long after we’re married and have kids too.
Alongside this bisexual journey is a look at Mexico that is picturesque but also feels real. There is no yellow light filter. And there is an acknowledgment of the beauty of Mexico with the tourism that goes hand in hand for places like this. Within this context you could tell that writer Ringel really loves where she’s from and the culture there. In fact, I feel like the movie shines the brightest while it’s in Mexico. That’s where Mags feels like her most authentic self. And she loosened up to a point where I felt like I could see her too. When she returned to what I assume is LA, I felt like she closed herself off. Once again, she became the wife, the daughter, and the mother to her son and her husband.
Now the husband… Ash was my mortal enemy when it came to You, Me & Her. He never saw Mags until the very end and was ignorant of the fact that Angela was only interested in Mags. He also saw Mags bisexual journey as a fun little fantasy for him. And they started having sex again when he started fetishizing the new thing that she was discovering about herself. He also brought her down at every chance he could because he could never own up to his own failures. When he did realize that this bisexual journey she was on was real and not a game, I could see him as something more than just a self-centered sexist man. But by that point I was wishing for Mags, this beautiful and driven woman, to divorce her husband.
Ultimately, You, Me & Her needed to trim the fat when it came to Ash overshadowing Mags bisexual journey. It is made difficult when you have a marriage and child on the line. But I just can’t help thinking about what could have been if Mags was honest with herself. Because Ash… he didn’t add anything to her life. He wasn’t a partner or a husband. He was her child. And I’m tired of seeing women make themselves small for men that don’t even see them for the funny, talented, and ambitious women they are. Let’s not just take the bare minimum anymore when it comes to our partners. Let’s ask for more. And if you end up having a bisexual journey in your life long after you’re married and have kids, I hope you have the support to make it through it all and become your most authentic self.
Queerly Not Straight posts Saturdays with opinion pieces, listicals, reviews, and more focused on the LGBT community.
