‘The X-Files’ Review: “Mulder & Scully Meet the Were-Monster”

Are you done laughing? I’m not quite done. I need like a minute. Or, quite possibly, twenty.

If this The X-Files “mini-series” was meant to showcase the best of what this show had to offer, both in the conspiracy, in the drama, and in the laugh-out-loud funny departments, well then I’m here to say: Job well done, guys. Job well done.

For a minute there (or more than a minute, really), I thought I’d hit play on the Jimmy Kimmel sketch instead of the actual The X-Files episode, that’s how much of a change of pace this was from the previous episodes. But, while on other shows, this could be a bad thing, on The X-Files, it works to perfection. Mostly because Duchovny and Anderson sell it. Oh, boy, do they.

But you know the real reason why it works? It’s not just because of commitment; it’s because of the writing. It’s because funny is one thing and funny and deep is another. It’s because the Were-Monster was really just a metaphor for life as human beings, and how we often worry so much about living that we forget to enjoy life.

Want a laugh? Come watch The X-Files! Want drama? We’ve got it right here for you. Want aliens and conspiracy? Step right in. Want FEELS? You’ve come to the right place. This show has a little bit of everything. And that’s probably the reason why it seems like everyone is watching.

The good

  • Scully doesn’t need anyone to save her. I repeat, Scully doesn’t need anyone to save her.
  • Mulder’s wardrobe has vastly improved since we last saw him. My head canon is that Scully threw out all the outlandish ties and made him get some nice suits.
  • Rhys Darby is hilarious as the lizard-turned-man. I expected over-the-top and instead I got subdued and it was fifty times more effective.
  • Best line of the episode: “Mulder, the internet is bad for you.”
  • Mulder’s disbelief rings true. He has, after all, learned that everything he ever believed in is in wrong. So, if he wasted all those years believing a lie, then it was all in vain, right? It’s not just about his life’s work, though, on the outside, it is. It’s also about Scully.
  • Everything is about Scully. When Mulder could hide behind the fact that he lost her, yes, but he did it because of a greater truth, it was easier to live with the fact that she wasn’t with him.
  • Mulder’s deadpan face when Lizard-Man is explaining he had sex with Scully is David Duchovny at his finest.
  • In “War of the Coprophages,” Scully gets jealous of Mulder’s insect-loving lady friend. Here, it’s Mulder’s turn.
  • Mulder’s overprotectiveness over Scully, though sweet, is clearly all about him compensating. He knows better than anyone that she can take care of herself, and it’s very hypocritical of our favorite G-man to be lecturing her about rules when he’s the one who delighted in breaking them.
  • What was this whole episode about? It was about taking a man who had every reason to question, well …everything, and, in that final frame of the episode, restore some of his faith back. Some of our
  • Scully’s: “This is how I like my Mulder” was all of us.
  • Mulder’s conversation with himself in the hotel room was a delight to watch. Yes, he knows Scully well enough to anticipate what she’s going to say, but that’s not the only reason the scene works. It also works because Gillian Anderson’s face while Duchovny is doing the whole thing is pure comedic gold.
  • I particularly enjoyed Scully using the expression “batcrap crazy” to refer to Mulder.
  • Duchovny and Anderson clearly look like they have at least a season more of these characters in them.

The Bad

  • The ties are better, Mulder, but what’s up with the car? What color is that supposed to be? Middle-age crisis?
  • Can someone explain the décor in that motel? Wait …don’t tell me. I don’t want to know.

The weird

  • I’m never getting the image of the Were-Monster in tighty whities out of my head. Ever.
  • How many copies of that poster do they own? Mulder ripped one in the first episode, after all. Also, how did he get so good at the throwing pencils thing? Was that ALL he did when he was supposed to be working in the FBI?
  • Once Upon A Time, the sight of David Duchovny in red speedos would have been a pleasure. Oh, how times have changed. I can now unequivocally say no one should ever wear red speedos. EVER.
  • But why is he even sleeping in the red speedos? Was he hoping for a late-night visit from Scully?
  • I’m not even going to talk about the creepy guy from the hotel. Nope, not going there.
  • Come on, Mulder. You can figure out technology. You just gotta try.
  • The transgender prostitute who kicked the Were-Monsters ass was played by “RuPaul’s Drag Race” favorite Shangela (a.k.a. D.J. Pierce).
  • The stoners at the beginning were played by Tyler Labine and Nicole Parker, who played the same roles in a couple of season 3 episodes.
  • And, for one final trivia, Writer/Director Darin Morgan also played the Flukeman, one of the creepiest Monsters-of-the-Week in The X-Files history.
  • Mulder’s ringtone is The X-Files theme. How much more meta can you get?

Next, on THE X-FILES

The X-Files airs on Monday’s at 8/7c on FOX.

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