Well, well – things just always seem to be getting more and more complicated – but you know that’s life. What is it if not a bunch of ups and downs?
I’ve watched this show and the thing is – all I have wanted to know is more about Justin. I have wanted to know more about him, the way his Mom passed, the way he thinks. I have wanted to know everything, because I want to understand his pain. I want to understand the way that he thinks because I feel like he is so much more than a pretty face.
But there is also a part of me that doesn’t think I will ever understand a fuckboy. I mean in all my years of life – I have never understood a fuckboy. Fuckboys are a pain in the ass. Fuckboys are a mind fuck. But how do you tell if a man is a fuckboy? How do you tell if they are more?
For me – it’s because you see a gleam of hope in Justins eyes when he sees the people that he loves. It reminds me that he’s alive. It reminds me that there is something in him that even he’s fighting for.
And that my friends is a beautiful thing.
The fifth episode is entitled, Two for $40, and it’s description, “Marcus is torn between his old crush and a new flirtation. Carol’s new low leads her to an unlikely ally. Justin’s latest mistake cuts deep.”
EVERYONE LEAVES AND EVERYONE STAYS
Serena and Kat. The big mystery of their fathers has been something that has stuck with me. I wanted to know how their fathers could walk away from them and leave them with Carol.
Yes, we still don’t know anything about Kat’s Dad, but we do get to see Serenas. He loves his daughter, with all of his heart, but the relationship with Carol makes everything complicated. Now, I will be the first to admit that there is always a want to run – if you say you never have it is a lie. But when you have kids – I will never understand running.
Because that child comes first.
For Serena the men in her life are a territory that she doesn’t want anyone infringing on. She’s got Daddy issues and one can’t blame her for it. What she knows, what she understands is that men always leave.
Seeing her Mom with Mitch is another reminder that people always leave. She’s now afraid that someone else is going to leave because of her Mom.
Carol arrives at practice and you can see the anger in Serena’s eyes. The fear.
Carol has coffee for Mitch and wants to talk to him for a second. She starts talking about how she’s sorry if she crossed a line – because if you remember they went out the night before – she brought him home, then pulled away from having sex with him (which hey, we applaud you Carol because it’s always hard to pull away). She starts trying to backtrack, which makes me know that she’s aware that her mania is there (and trust me, I know.)
But Mitch says that wasn’t what he was going to say. He wanted to tell her he had a good time. That’s a win for Carol, because she really needs to feel loved.
Mental Illness is a lonely thing. Mental Illness makes you feel isolated, because the stigmas surrounding it are cruel.
SHINY ROBBERY
I think that Carol wants to be a good Mom and one of the things that she hates the most about herself is that she’s not. Her illness is at fault for a lot of things – but it also is not. Off your meds is hard.
When Carol walks in and sees Mandy hugging Kat and telling her she looks perfect – there is a part of her that sees what she wants to be and that’s hard as fuck to see. When you want to be something and you think someone else is being that better than you – that’s a hard as fuck feeling to feel.
Kat wants to pay her way and I admire that. I also think that as much as she wants to pay her way – she also needs to learn to accept help. Mandy tells her that her half is $700 and Kat is excited that she can pay it.
But when she goes to the bank, the money is gone. Carol pulled it all out. Why? Because of Mandy and Kat at the shop. For her it’s revenge. But taking revenge on your daughter is fucked up. Kat confronting Carol – I don’t know how she kept her cool, because I woulda torn a bitches purple hair out.
Serena overhears and it’s another thing for her and her Mom to bicker over, but choose a side over. Her Mom lies and says that she didn’t steal the money from Kat, but the truth is – she did. And Serena is over shit. She’s over it all. So when she see’s Mitch come in – she uses it to her advantage and tells her Mom that she knows it is hard to handle Kat, especially with her bipolar.
I know that Carol doesn’t want anyone to know but I honestly think that keeping the secret is what’s causing her to snap from time to time.
Kat and Carol are the same that their pride keeps getting in the way. Pride is a vicious thing. It keeps us going and it suffocates us at the same time. Carol stealing the money wasn’t a good thing to do. I admit that and we all know that it goes without saying. But for Carol – I honestly feel like it was the only way that she felt like she could get Kat’s attention.
Money doesn’t make you a good Mom though. Love does.
NOT SHOWING UP, AGAIN
Serena was kicked out of the car by Carol – cause she’s so pissed over Mitch finding out she’s bipolar.
Kat didn’t charge her phone for her date.
Kat needs to learn to say no.
Now, there are going to be a lot of issues – as you know. It seems like the perfect fall of a million wrong things all the time for this family. But in my opinion – it’s because no one is looking out for the whole and everyone is looking out for the individual.
Serena guilts Kat into coming to get her, which will cause Kat to be late for meeting Marcus. She’s always late, always letting him down, always putting herself last. Serena doesn’t listen when Kat says that she has plans – doesn’t make an attempt to try something else. She just sees her immediate want.
On the way to get Serena, Kat’s car breaks down. Kat manages to call AAA and her sister, but well – you know that nothing is going to be perfect. She tries to text Marcus, but her phone dies.
And that really fucking sucks.
Kat wants to be there. She’s excited to date. But everything is like a stack of dominos falling. Kat is just not going to get her way.
Marcus is waiting for her, but then decides to leave with Alana. He can be the one to not to be there. Which, I applaud – because he’s always there. Granted this is not Kat’s fault. But, people of the world – this is why I say always to have an external battery ready.
Do I feel bad for Kat? Sure. You can see that she doesn’t want this.
When Kat shows up, and finds out that Marcus is gone. He left 45 minutes ago, and Kat asks to borrow someone else’s phone. She knows that she wants things to be okay, she wants to explain herself. But one has to wonder if this is the point where Marcus doesn’t care about the excuses anymore, he’s over them all.
We won’t have a chance to find out immediately, because of course Carol is there. Carols drinking champagne, a thousand dollar bottle. She’s wasted Kat’s saving on a limited edition bottle. Someone smack her. Kat tries to tell her Mom that she needs to be on her meds, but that’s the last thing that Carol wants to hear.
Carol wants to hear that her daughter is wrong and that she is a good Mom. Carol wants to hear that she’s the most important person to Kat.
When she’s not hearing it and her inner demons take control – Carol decides to make a scene in the middle of the lobby – tell Kat off. She’s upset that Kat is letting someone else take care of her and goes on about Mandy’s imperfections. It isn’t Kat’s fault, it isn’t Mandy’s. We all know that. But Carol really is struggling.
Carol tells Kat that she is a loser that couldn’t get over a fall. She tells Kat that she’s never going to be a champion.
Mandy comes in and asks if everything is okay. Kat leaves and Mandy puts Carol in her place. She puts her in her place so well that even I was afraid of her. I wouldn’t fuck with Mandy.
Mandy wants to be a good and supportive person. I appreciate her. But I also get her want to protect Kat.
I FEEL THE NEED, THE NEED FOR SPEED
I love that Marcus is getting the attention that he deserves. It feels like he has given up so much in life to be there for others – to put his dreams on the back burner for others. People look at him and don’t see just how amazing he is.
Kat included.
I can’t even think how Marcus must feel – loving her and seeing that she can’t see past herself. Kat always lets Marcus down and she needs to prove that she can be there for others. I don’t know how he keeps giving her more and more chances, because if I was him – I woulda thrown in that towel. He is giving her more than she deserves.
Alana – the new girl – looking at Marcus – that’s the way he should be looked at. Looked at with a smile and the knowledge that he’s a good guy.
I do understand why Marcus doesn’t want to hear anything from Kat when he see’s her the next time. He’s had enough. And he deserves to have had enough. He does love Kat and I think that it’s a beautiful thing. But I also know you can love someone and put up boundaries.
BABY ON BOARD
Justin finding out that Mandy is pregnant – seeing the look on his face and the pain in his eyes – that’s a lot for me. I can’t even imagine how he feels because he is still reeling from the death of his Mom.
And that pain doesn’t go away.
Justin makes stupid decisions based off his pain and drives drunk. His Dad catches him and confronts him.
I would expect James to be mad over the greens – but he is mad because his son drove drunk. He can’t loose him that way too.
James says sorry that Justin found out the way that he did – but he can’t do this. One more fuck up and he will be done with Justin. He’s tried to help Justin but one more fuck up and he can’t do it.
They are both hurting and hurting makes a lot of shit come out. Some of it is in the worst way because that’s what pain does – makes you react. I really, really want Justin and his Dad to be okay, because they are all that they have.
BEST FRIENDS STAB YOU IN THE BACK
Jenn has it bad for Justin. I get it. Who wouldn’t? But the thing is – she’s never truthful to Kat about what she feels about anything. Granted, Kat isn’t exactly truthful to her either, but that’s a whole different story.
Justin meets them at the bar – Justin and Gabe – and Jenn and him get a little (ok a lot drunk) and they almost have sex. Jenn makes the first move and I have to admit, I applauded. Cause making the first move is never an easy thing. It’s a confusing thing.
But what Jenn should have done is tell Kat that she really likes Justin, that she wants to be with Justin – because you can see that Jenn is doing everything to set that up. She wants a relationship and she’s made it obvious. The issue for me is that it she knows that Justin is Kat’s partner and I feel like getting involved fucks things up for Kat.
Anyhow – they movie to Justin’s car – cause you know car sex in front of a bunch of people outside of a bar is every girls dream. That’s sarcasm – in case you didn’t catch on.
Kat shows up at the bar, and Jenn sees her – so she stops it. She goes in and wants to see what’s going on with Kat. Kat is tired of everything going wrong and she’s tired of all the bullshit in her life. But selling pills won’t fix that. Only I know that right now Kat is only seeing short term.
And Jenn doesn’t have all the information to make an informed decision on how to help Kat.
But the secrets between them will be their downfall.
CLEANING AND LEAVING
Here’s the thing I admire about Mitch. He shows up. I may not trust him, but he shows up. And that is something a lot of people don’t do.
He doesn’t leave when he finds out she is bipolar. Instead he comes over and Carol is in the middle of scrubbing the floor with a toothbrush. Mitch takes the toothbrush and says he will help her. She just needs to tell him where it is dirty.
Carol admits that she’s off her meds. She can’t stop talking about Mandy being a better Mom and that she needs to wait up for Serena. She agrees to rest.
Mitch is being everything that I didn’t think he could be. He’s being a man that I want to get to know versus a skeevy piece of shit. I admire the fact that he didn’t run.
Serena comes home and sees Mitch sleeping. She’s surprised and I don’t blame her that her first thought is him leaving.
My heart has never broken for her in a way that it did as when she asked when he was leaving. When she remembers her Dad leaving and she falls into Mitch when he says he’s not leaving. Her breaking broke me.
And it broke Carol in a way – because she called her doctor to get help. To check herself in and get help. And for that – I am thankful that Serena was able to force a change in Carol.
OTHER THOUGHTS
- Jenn not telling her parents about her hip is going to lead to a big fucking issue – I see it now. I’m worried about it.
- I am liking Justins brothers.
- I hope we get to learn more about Alana.
