‘Spinning Out’ 1×10: “Kiss And Cry”

Who do we write for a season 2 of Spinning Out? Because we’re going to need one. We have so many questions and need so many answers.

I don’t know about all of you – but I feel like the stories with these complex characters have just begun. Spinning Out has been a journey for me, because I am bipolar and seeing it portrayed in a responsible way on screen has been life changing for me.

We’ve journeyed through the ups and downs this season, but I am willing to continue this journey. Because I am so invested in these characters. I am so thankful for these characters. I am so thankful for this story.

The final episode of the season was entitled, “Kiss and Cry.” Let’s break it down –

DECISIONS

Sisters. If you have one, you know that shit is not always coming up roses. They are your built in best friend. But they can also be the built in pain in your ass.

For so long it’s been Serena and Kat against the world. They have been the ones that have stood by each other. But for Kat, Serena kept the secret about her fall, and that is unforgivable.

So when Serena calls because Carol didn’t come home, Kat tells her that she’s tired of her being a bitch to her one second needing her help the next. Serena is on her own.

I know the anger that Kat must feel, but also how scary it is to tell her sister off. She can say she doesn’t care, but she does. You never want to hurt your sister, but I do get that Kat also wants to put herself first.

Jen is with her when she tells Serena off, and Jen assures Kat that she has her. Kat says she knows and part of me thinks that for the first time Kat feels a sense of relief cause all of the secrets are out, but a sense of loss because she’s lost her Mom and sister. Sure, it’s by her choice and the actions that they have all taken, but that doesn’t mean that it doesn’t hurt.

There is a sense of loneliness and strength that encompass standing up for yourself and for Kat, I believe that she’s feeling it intensely.

I’M NOT GOING TO LOOSE EVERYTIHNG

Things aren’t going well for Kat and to top it all off she’s not going to be able to skate.

Justin is leaving. He’s reacting from a broken heart – which you can’t get mad at. Why? Because we all do it. We all spend a portion of our lives reacting from our hearts.

Justin goes to meet his baby sister and say goodbye to his Dad and Mandy.

Can we all just agree that Mandy is the voice of reason and her heart is in the right place all the time? She has the need to protect everyone all around her, especially those that she loves.

James speaks out of his ass and tells Justin he’s doing the right thing by leaving. Mandy reminds James that no one asked, and James asks a question that changes everything.

“Was that girl worth loosing everything over?”

And Justin doesn’t know. But it sparks him thinking and that changes everything.

Because the next thing we know, Justin is at Dasha’s and he’s telling Kat that he’s not going to let how she does or doesn’t feel about him make him loose everything.

There is a still a distance between them. Justin doesn’t want to be in a car with her, he says he’ll meet her at sectionals.

I respect him for this. Granted his delivery is kind of an asshole – but when we’re hurt, we all act like assholes, unless we are one of the few that are able to shut ourselves down. Justin isn’t one of those.

But the fact that he’s willing to skate, shows that he can separate the two. They are bickering before hitting the ice, and Dasha tells them she warned them to keep it professional, but now that they fucked that up, they are lucky that all great art comes from pain. Justin acts like he’s not in pain, and Dasha, who knows that he’s lying, tells him then to get out there and fake it. And when the two get to skate their short program, it’s fucking beautiful.

They are in first place.

When leaving the rink that night, Kat runs into Carol. Carol is in tears and destroyed. She tries to talk to Kat. She needs Kat to lie for her – to tell Mitch that she was with her the night before.

Kat says that she’ll lie for her if she answers one question for her.

How can people like them tell when it’s love? Carol’s spent so much time telling Kat that she can’t trust her instincts, that Kats afraid to trust herself. Carol tells her that love, for people like them, sometimes has to be a decision. They have to hang on to the moments.

Part of me agrees with this statement and part of me doesn’t.

I don’t think it’s been fair for Carol to make Kat believe that she’s not able to trust her instincts. I think, as someone who is bipolar, that my instincts are some of the strongest things about me. I know what I want and what I don’t. Sure, when I am in a mania – it becomes a scary thing to trust. But I also know that if those feelings stay with me – medicated and okay – then I know that I feel them.

Mania’s exaggerate my feelings, but they are feelings that I have had. I don’t know – I know it’s different for others.

But I refuse to spend my life believing that I can’t trust in myself.

And Kat shouldn’t either.

FUCK YOU 

This talk makes Kat think about everything.

And the next day, in the warm ups – GLEAH and KASTIN (ship names people, ship names) are basically having a psych out practice skate, showing each other what they are capable of.

And what they do is make us wonder who is going to win. Cause they are both that great.

Justin tells Kat that they should do the lift. And they do. And you have to stand up and cheer because how far they have come is absolutely beautiful. But then Kat falls and Justin catches her before she falls all the way.

“I told you I would never let you fall.” he says to her.

My heart exploded. Justin is supposed to be the biggest playboy, but what we’ve learned about him is that he is really just the man who wants to be loved. He’s open to those that really get him and those that get to his heart. Kat has shown him that he’s capable of so much and that he deserves to be loved. He shows it in his actions and his words and facial expressions with her.

And when he tells her this, she tells him that she loves him. Justin however gets angry and says, “Fuck you,” before walking off.

Kat follows him and explains.

The moment that she knew was the first time he ever said that to her. We can’t blame her. It’s the first time we knew that these two were going to be our everything.

She hurt him and he admits it to her. She hurt him badly. She knows.

If there is one thing that I firmly believe that Kat knows is that she hurts people in her manias. She doesn’t mean to. She doesn’t want to. To be honest, I firmly believe that anyone with bipolar disease doesn’t want to hurt anyone, we just don’t know how to stop it sometimes, because the person that we know we are hurting is ourselves.

But one of the most genuine things about Justin is when he looks at her and says, “Fuck,” before kissing her. Because he’s letting himself be vulnerable and he’s reinforcing the fact that she knows that he won’t let her fall.

For Kat, I think she needs that so much. I think that she needs to know that someone loves her unconditionally – even knowing that she has bipolar disorder.

CAROL STEPS UP

Can we all agree that the doctor is a psycho and he needs to go to jail like yesterday?

Serena is all sorts of excited that he shows up for sectionals. She’s pissed at her Mom, Kat wants nothing to do with her. Serena feels completely alone.

Sometimes what we forget are the people that are affected by mental illness. For Serena, she may not be bipolar, but she lives with people who are. She is affected every single moment of every day. For her, the illness is something that she lives with, because the effects of what those around her are going through – that’s enough. She feels lonely, afraid, and as if she is forgotten.

It’s ironic that Kat said that she wants to be remembered, because that’s what Serena wants. Just on a different level. She wants to be seen, remembered, and loved by those around her.

Kat may be pissed at her sister, but when she sees her sitting there, in tears, crying – her instincts take over and she goes to make sure that her sister is okay. Serena tells her no to pretend that she cares.

But if we can trust any of Kat’s instincts – her love for her sister is one that she can. Serena admits that she’s been having sex, you think that you know someone, and then all they wanted is sex. Kat thinks it is Drew and goes to confront him.

Only quickly she learns that Serena lied.

So who is it? Who is sleeping with her sister? All clues point to Mitch and as we know, Kat doesn’t trust him for shit. So Kat goes off to confront him. Only as we know, she doesn’t really have a – well a good sense of timing. She confronts him while Serena skates. Mitch is pissed, and in this moment he finds out that Carol had lied to him.

Mitch has just admitted that he loved Carol and wanted to move in. He was put in a position that he had to defend himself, but Serena is the last person that he would ever lay hands on. He defends himself and in the same breath has to tell Carol that he’s done and that he quits. And if we’re being honest, one can’t blame him.

Kat has gotten through to her Mom. Something is wrong with Serena and Carol FINALLY listens to her daughter and goes to check on the other one. Serena admits that it is Dr. Parker and Kat goes to confront him.

Enter Jen. Lord, lord, lord – Jen. She doesn’t want to believe it and tells Kat that he sister is a liar. She’s not going to let her family’s crazy ruin her happy. Mitch has turned this thing around on Serena and is acting completely innocent. Jen believes him and tells her best friend off.

Kat checks on her sister and we find Serena’s reasoning. The doctor was nice to her.

The reason that she had been so upset is because the doctor had dumped her earlier, and manipulated her into feeling shame.

Carol steps and tells Kat that she needs to skate, that she’s going to handle this. And for the first time, I respect Carol as a Mom. I respect the fact that she’s putting her daughters welfare and not her skating career first.

And for the first time, I believe that this family is on the way to healing.

OTHER THOUGHTS

  • Jen has pissed us off to the point that we want to scream in her face. Granted, she is trying to reclaim her life, find a place to be, etc. But I also believe that in all of this, Jen has done herself a disservice, because she doesn’t know how to let anyone in or see the truth around her.
  • I was a little confused about the flash forwards but so happy to see Tatiana and Dasha. Dasha deserves her happy ending and if there is a season 2, I hope that becomes a storyline.
  • Carol hitting the doctor with a baseball bat and then calling the police to report an assault- YASSSS! Not that we want to promote violence, but you fuck with a child, you deserve to be knocked the fuck out.
  • Serena assuring Kat with a look from the stands that she has got this – reaffirmed my love for these sisters and their bond.

Spinning Out is streaming on Netflix now!

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