Winning.
When you think about it – even if we’re the person that says that winning isn’t everything, it is something truly important to all of us. Winning – no matter how you define it – is something that motivates us all. It changes us. It makes us better or worse people.
Just depends on how you look at it.
For me – winning is about seeing those I love win too. But in the world of competitive sports – when you have spent your whole life working towards being one thing, then winning becomes everything.
And on Spinning Out, that’s what everything is right now.
The seventh episode of the season, “Healing Times May Vary,” it’s all about winning – both personal and professionally.
Kasha’s painful secrets come to light. Fixated on winning, Kat puts her mental health at risk. Serena’s dad returns with a complicated proposal.
DASHA IS A QUEEN
Can we all talk about how much we love Dasha?
We learned a lot about Dasha this episode. She has given up everything in her life that she wanted to be what everyone else expected and for me – that’s a lot to take in.
Dasha is an Olympic champion. She grew up in Russia, where being she wasn’t allowed to be herself. She wasn’t allowed to love who she loved. Tatiana was her everything and they both were not allowed to love each other.
But Dasha has never forgotten her. Every single moment of her life she has remembered the woman that she loved, that she couldn’t be with, and wondered about her.
We learn that Dasha needs surgery on her eyes. When she finds out that she needs it she panics. She panics because there is a chance that she can lose her eye sight. She panics because she’s worried that she won’t be able to see Tatiana anymore.
I feel my heart reach out to Dasha because she has given everything up for skating. She’s given everything up for everyone. And faced with a choice that she could lose her sight she’s still putting everyone else before her. I think that what Dasha is missing is that she’s always going to see Tatiana.
Love doesn’t fade. Memories are still with you.
But I get it. I also get that she deserves to have a life that she wants. BUT she has to take care of herself.
Dasha decides to have surgery and yes, she’s scared. But I think that it’s going to give Dasha some strength and confidence. She’s going to get herself – her heart – everything is going to figure its way out.
But what I love the most about Dasha is she’s opening up a little and I think she’s been aching to do that.
CAROL IS STILL CAROL
Mitch and Carol. I think that this is the oddest pairing, but I do get why they are together.
Carol wants to grow. She wants to keep her life on the right track and I admire that. I do. But I think that what we are missing here is that Carol needs to work on Carol in order to fully get on the right track.
And what Carol is missing is that Mitch has now taken on a roll that she may not be fully ready for. One that he may not be ready for. He fell so fast into the family that he didn’t stop to heal from the shit that drove him away from Boise in the first place.
But for both of them seeing Serena with Rusty is hard. Mitch – in my opinion – has grown to love Serena like a daughter and towing that line is hard for him. But also towing the line of his feelings for Carol is hard.
Mitch is trying to help both of them find their way. He’s directing Carol on her quest to stay healthy. He’s directing Serena on her quest to win. But it’s all so complicated.
Carol calls him jealous. Reggie doesn’t like how he is with Serena. But to me the reality is Serena needs them both. And all of them need to get out of the way of themselves and someone needs to start looking at what Serena needs.
Because all of these people are being way too selfish.
SERENA CAN’T HAVE IT ALL
My heart breaks for Serena. It breaks for her because she has wanted nothing more than for someone to be kind to her. She’s wanted nothing more than for people to stay.
For Serena – she’s rarely come first. She’s skated like her life depended on it and in my opinion it’s because that’s how she’s gotten attention. Living with people who have mental illness isn’t easy. Her Mom and sister – their lives have become about their illness and Serena’s always the one that has to pick up the pieces.
Everyday is a challenge. Will they stay on their meds? Will they be nice to her? Will they not put her in between them. The truth is that you do not know.
With her Dad back in town though, Serena has someone who wants to do nothing but shower her with all of the attention. He wants to make her front and center. He wants her to shine.
And he wants to be with her.
When Rusty says that he wants Serena to come and live with him – I wouldn’t blame her for running towards that opportunity. She’s be front and center.
And here’s the thing – one can’t blame her for that.
But Serena doesn’t know how to put herself first. And so she gives in and tells her Mom that she will stay with her.
Personally, I think that Serena is feeling this pressure to keep her Mom on the track of staying healthy. But the kid doesn’t get it isn’t her responsibility. It’s her responsibility to be a kid. That’s it.
I am waiting for her to act out, because we all know that it is coming. It’s a teenage right of passage, but for Serena, it’s going to be what keeps her sane or what destroys her.
KAT HAS PASSED THE LINE TO GONE
Winning.
Kat has started using less and less of her medication and this has caused a surge in energy, a loss in reality and a surge in confidence.
And I am scared.
Kat and Justin have to get to sectionals. After skating clean at regionals, they are in seventh after the short program and for Kat that’s not good enough. They have gotten farther than they thought they would. That says something.
But Kat not being on her meds, she is on a different level. She’s brilliant minded this shit and figured out what they have to do in order to come in fifth and make it to sectionals.
Justin is amazing and trying to tell her that it is okay. He’s trying to convince her that it doesn’t matter. That Dasha getting them to Nationals was supposed to take two years.
But like I have been saying – Justin really likes Kat. It’s obvious. He’s going to do whatever it takes to make her happy.
And if that means changing the program – so be it. If it means practicing until he’s about to pass out. So be it. If it means that he could possbily loose everything. It doesn’t matter. Because he’s in love.
But let me tell you why that breaks my heart.
Because Kat isn’t in the right mindset to do what she does. She tells him that she loves him. That she is completely and 100% in love with him.
And do I believe that she is. Yes. But something tells me that there will come a point when he’s gonna question the love she says that she has. I think that for him it’s going to be hard because he really truly loves her and it’s the first time in his life that he’s let down his walls enough to allow someone in since his Mom died.
For both of them, it’s a crazy thing – they both want to be loved, to love, but the way that it is happening is not beneficial to anyone. I don’t want to see them get hurt.
But their love does translate beautifully to the ice. And when they make their way to sectionals, I applaud.
But I am a little worried about how all of this is going to impact them eventually. Because Kat has dumped all of her medication down the toilet. She’s completely off her meds. That means that something is going to come crashing down. We don’t know when and we don’t know how – but she’s close.
I am so immensely proud of Kat and Justin and what they have accomplished. We believe in them.
But it’s hard when you love characters so much and you have to watch them fall apart. These two are gonna fall hard. And I don’t want them to.
I want to catch them before they fall.
MARCUS AND HIS SECRETS
I am glad that Marcus is doing what he wants – SKIING.
But he needs to get his shit straight. Everything is “complicated” and I get that. But complicated is life.
It’s his birthday and his Mom is in town. His Mom is there to take care of her little boy.
But what is bad about Marcus’s Mom arriving is that he takes Alana for granted. Now, Alana has been there for Marcus and he’s introduced her as the concierge? Someone slap the shit out of him.
I think that Marcus makes his own life complicated. He takes his situation and the people that love him for granted. And I don’t know enough about him to pass judgement on why he does that.
But I do know that if he keeps taking the world around him for granted – he’s going to miss out.
I really, really want Marcus to have the world, but I also think that in order for him to do that he has to grow a backbone and he has to be honest about his life.
I applauded him when he stood up to Kat and told her if she left he would fire her.
I applauded him when he tried to apologize to Alana.
But I applauded his Mom even more when she called his ass out for the secrets that he was trying to keep. He gave up Stanford. He introduced Alana as the concierge. She raised a better man than that.
I applauded Alana though when he came back and tried to give her some sappy speech about how the next time his Mom is in town he’s gonna introduce her and she told him that some nice speech isn’t going to make it all better.
Alana just may be my new favorite.
SOMEONE HELP JENN
One thing that I will say about Jenn – she’s a fighter. I don’t think that she’s ever given herself enough credit for the person she is. She just feels the pressure of the whole situation and for her – she succumbs to that pressure.
I have had a hard time with Jenn’s character because she doesn’t ever see that she deserves to be this strong and fierce person that the world looks up to. She deserves to see that people do. But for her, she seems to be used to using her sarcasm as a defensive mechanism, she is used to being guarded and somewhat cruel to others, but at the same point – Jenn just wants to be first.
First to someone.
First in skating.
First to be loved.
But what she’s missing is that she needs to put herself first.
The more I think about it – I am glad that Jenn and Kat have had a rift. I know it’s a shitty thing to say, but there is a reason why I think it’s good. Because it’s forced Jenn to see that she’s number one. That she is worth more than she’s given herself credit for.
But what has kinda pissed me off is that she still doesn’t see that she should tell her family that she can’t do it. She still hasn’t told the world that she is hurt. She’s put her future at risk and we all have to ask – for what?
When she takes the ice at this competition – she’s flawless. She’s magnetic. But then she falls and our hearts break.
Jenn looks like she is in such pain. Such unbelievable, end your life kind of pain. My heart broke for her.
All of the pressure. All of the anger. All of pain. All of it was there and she was helpless. She was hopeless. She was screaming for the one person she had continued on for.
Her Dad.
OTHER THOUGHTS
- Kat yelling at Jenn and hoping that she falls – she’s gonna regret that and I wish I could shove the words back in her mouth.
- Serena telling her Mom that she’ll stay and acting like it’s whatever – I wished for more at her in that moment
- Can we talk about Justins smile? That shit makes me want to drop my panties.
- Dasha and Serena’s talk is everything
- Kaya is literally blowing me away
- I feel like we’re all being blessed in a way we didn’t know we needed. I am needing season 2 already.
