Godzilla vs Kong felt very much like two exes shit talking each other. Or ex besties. They could totally be besties who had a falling out over who was the biggest and baddest bitch in town. When none could be chosen they parted ways as to never have to catch each other’s hands. But then Apex Industries had to get involved, create a titan catnip, and set these two exes against each other to see who the real king was.
And just to be clear. We’re Team Kong over here. Have been since day one even though we love Godzilla to the moon and back. If lines were drawn, we know where we would land and it’s with a gigantic gorilla who used to call Skull Island his home. That doesn’t mean that we wanted Godzilla to have his (I know people say he’s a he but didn’t Godzilla have a kid?) ass handed to him. We want a fair fight and oh did we see one.
Property damage aside, this movie was full to the brim with monster smackdown madness and we loved it. Especially that axe. Who built that baby and how did they get a spike off Godzilla’s back to be part of it? Because it was badass when Kong used it and when it was charged up by the energy of the center of the hollow Earth. It shows that there’s a much more complicated understanding to Kong that we might never fully know.
The smackdown in Hong Kong was by far our favorite. Basically what happened was that Godzilla heard that Kong was talking shit. So he made a huge hole in the Earth and threw some smack talk down the hole. Kong, sick and tired of Godzilla’s shit, decided to answer the call and leave hollow Earth. When Kong appeared he was like, “What do you want?” Godzilla responded with the same ol’. And Kong told him, “Look, I’m too busy on my throne to be thinking about you and your nonsense.”
Seriously. That’s what happened. Word for word. We don’t make the rules here. A giant lizard and gorilla do and we must follow them. What follows is a CGI smackdown of epic proportions….THAT WAS UNFORTUNATELY INTERRUPTED! Yes, Kong was injured and down. But he could’ve had an up swing against Godzilla if the latter hadn’t been confronted by his evil AI cousin. (This reads like a soap opera and we love it.)
Mechagodzilla aka the evil AI twin was on a rampage to destroy Hong Kong and Godzilla. And Godzilla wasn’t about to have any of that. A) Only he gets to destroy buildings, which I hope are empty because it’s late night. And B) He just “defeated” Kong and there was only room for one king. But even Godzilla couldn’t fight against the might and power of his robot cousin from another mother.
Teaming up to defeat Mechagodzilla was the only way to take down the wannabe king. And we think that their team up was even more epic than any showdown they had before. They worked well together, using their strengths and weaknesses to their advantage. And we can’t stop thinking about how they almost lost the fight if it wasn’t for Godzilla using his atomic breath to charge up Kong’s axe.
It honestly gave us the same feeling that we got the first time we saw Godzilla’s spikes light up in the 2014 film by the same name. Hell, the whole Godzilla vs Kong did. It was fun, it was silly, and it gave us a shit show to end all shit shows in the form of two titans who were trying to cement themselves as the king of the world. Through teamwork they ended up both being kings. And if that isn’t beautiful then I don’t know what is.
Godzilla vs Kong is available on HBO Max.