It’s not normal for me to watch a movie and feel like I can find forgiveness when someone has done something that doesn’t seem like it can ever be redeemed or is worth redemption. When I think of catfishing, I don’t think that lie is ever something that can be redeemable. I am not one that ever feels like messing with someones emotions is something that can be easily forgiven.
Because emotions shape who we are. Emotions give us the confidence to be ourselves and to open ourselves to others out there. But when someone plays with our emotions, how do we find the way down a road to forgiveness? And then again, is it only them that we need to forgive or do we also need to find forgiveness in ourselves?
Emotions create complicated thoughts. And when you are having complicated thoughts, how do you work through that when you are trying to live.
Life is complicated. Love is complicated. Hell jobs are complicated. And for Natalie (played by Nina Dobrev) everything is complicated. Her job is writing a column about her disastrous dating life, taking date after date and not finding anything that she can commit to long term.
There are issues with everyone that she dates has, but it makes for a column that makes her boss a lot of money. He’s not complaining and he wants another column. Only Natalie, she doesn’t want to keep writing the same column.
She has more of a story to tell.
However, she’s back on the dating app, looking through all the possible matches. Her best friend expands the range and she finds a man on there that he’s attracted to.
Josh, is a candlemaker, living in his parents basement and working at his families store. He’s a loner, but longs for companionship. Jimmy O. Yang who plays Josh, is a gem. He’s funny and kind. He plays the character with vulnerability, strength, and hey, no one can deliver some one liners like him. He’s the best part of this movie, even though his characters lie is what makes you angry in the first place.
But the thing about the character of Josh is that you really feel for him, but you don’t feel sorry for him. You ache to understand why he catfished Natalie. You want to know what he doesn’t see in himself.
And you want him to understand that he’s a good man, that he is misunderstood, but still a good man. He just has to open up a little and let people in.
I do understand that Josh hasn’t had it easy. He’s felt like he’s invisible, because he’s always been that way to people. It’s sad because Josh is actually really great. He’s smart, funny, and full of life. He’s talented too. But he hasn’t found his confidence or self worth.
However, Josh feels less than and is in constant competition with his older brother, Owen. Owen, played by Harry Shum Jr, is a narcassist in need of a lot of attention. When Owen is outshined, he does everything that he can to draw the attention back to himself. Looking at Owen and the way he acts you can see the reasons why Josh feels inferior.
It’s heartbreaking to see that Josh feels that he also has to outshine his brother and puts this whole lie into another tailspin when he asks Natalie to marry him in front of a lot of people. And she definitely can’t say no when his Grandma pulls a ring off her finger for him to ask her to marry him with.
Jesus, when you think this shit can’t get any more complicated, it does.
But my issue at this point is Natalie. Why has she chosen to stay? When she found out she was catfished, she could have run. But instead she finds herself in a deal with Josh, him helping her get the guy that he posed as, and her faking to be his girlfriend and then fiance. At what point do we get to understand the reasons that she stayed? Because it makes absolutely no sense, being as she’s run from everything else.
And she’s not been able to forgive the lies that others have told her. So why stay for the man that has lied endlessly?
That’s the thing that has given me the biggest issue with this movie, is Natalie. Though Nina Dobrev is fantastic, what the issue is that I feel like her character isn’t developed to the point where you understand who she is. You don’t understand her motivations. You don’t understand her.
That’s hard when you are supposed to love, feel sorry for, and root for. What you get are a bunch of mismatched moments that make her seem heartless and self centered. And all of that is centered around the big question… why did she stay?
The movie feels like a montage of bad choices and people who just don’t care. Darren Barnetts character of Tag is underwhelming and you just start to wonder why he’s even there, but realize that the purpose is to set Natalie up for comedic moments.
It is a rom-com after all.
It’s not that Love Hard is bad. It’s not. It’s just underwhelming. It’s a movie that reminds us that we should look on the inside of people – who they are and not what they look like. But it fails to address just how serious catfishing can be and it fails to make you invested in any character but Josh.
Yes, it poses the question – Is physical attraction more important than personal connection?
And though that is an age old question and one that can be heavily debated. But what it also leaves us with is confusion – because rather than Natalie being one to stand up for herself and realize that she’s worth so much more than lies. What was so fantastic about Tag besides his six pack abs? Why was Josh so worthy of forgiveness? WHY DID SHE STAY?
All the moments of sweet vulnerability and connection that Natalie and Josh make are overshadowed by the lack of understanding of just who Natalie is. And again, WHY DID SHE STAY? Why has she forgiven Josh for catfishing her? What the fuck is going on here?
I know, I know – I am looking too deep at a Christmas movie. If you take it at face value – it being a Christmas movie – then Love Hard is a great watch with friends. And maybe that’s the way it should be looked at.
Love Hard truly was a good movie. I just am left with wanting to understand why she stayed. That’s my biggest issue and I don’t know how to let that go.
Love Hard is streaming now on Netflix.
