Law & Order: SVU 23×21 Review: “Confess Your Sins to Be Free”

Law & Order: SVU 23×21 “Confess Your Sins to Be Free” was, in a word, sickening. It wasn’t even in the usual, “hey, do we really need to be so graphic and ‘out there’ with our torture and/or posing of victims” way either. No. That…I prefer the easier, lighter—yeah, actually both of those things—episodes like that to this absolute slap in the face to everyone from longtime viewers and real-life survivors, to the fictional victims. And then, just to twist the knife a little harder, it shat all over anyone who has ever been a member of, or had a loved one who experienced healing through being a member of, Alcoholics Anonymous.

So, where do we even begin?

No, really. Where.

Contrary to what Law & Order: SVU might want you to believe, this is not sobriety

If you stop watching Law & Order: SVU 23×21 right after the first diner scene, it will end where it actually needed to. I mean, this guy being the “victim” (he was the perpetrator) and somehow showing what a great (atrocious) place he was at in his recovery, all while he condescended to Liv about her still being angry (no shit) and made some lame “would it help if you threw a glass at me” joke on the matter…still would not have been great?

But at least ending where the scene left off, where Captain Benson said what needed to be said, would have worked.

“You’re sorry? You’re sorry for what.”

No, really. Which part is this episode sorry for? That’s what I want to know. Anyway. Let us let Olivia Benson, the real Olivia Benson, continue here:

“You’re sorry for abusing women? For using women. For hiding behind alcohol as an excuse? Look: I just want to make sure that you understand what making amends means. And not just to me, Burton. But to the other women. To acknowledge what you did to them…”

And Lowe’s all, blahblah, “that’s exactly why I’m here.” Boo-hoo, manipulative abuser man-tears. Something about hearing Liv. “And I’m trying.”

Sure, Benson’s “well, good. Good. So, let me know when you’ve done that” line was on point. It was one of those “Liv, go all the way off” kinds of moments. And it was exactly what this fucker, this serial predator, this piece of shit who groomed Olivia and ruined what actually should have been a “good” part of her relationship with her mother—the part where Serena protected her from filth like Burton Lowe—deserved.

But.

Even after it was clear she dismissed him, Burton decided to show up at the precinct unannounced, showing zero respect for her position or her boundaries. It was the exact same bullshit he did last time we saw him. Back when he was supposedly just about ready to hit his rock bottom in active addiction—which, again, we’re supposed to believe he’s in recovery from now. (No.)

Continuing to act like anything but someone working on their sobriety, Burton didn’t listen to “no.” (Shocking at this point, I’m sure.) As in, even after Captain Benson said she was in the middle of a case, he stuck around. And kept talking.

He invited her to his home group, which I guess means they have open meetings. (Did anyone do research so they could make sure to put that phrase—”open meeting”—in?) Burton also swore he wouldn’t talk about “us” (there was no “us.” He assaulted Olivia.) at the meeting in question.

So, of course, when he spotted Olivia, he *checks notes* talked about her. About his warped idea of “us” with her. You know, because he was in such a great place in his sobriety, he lied and manipulated someone—whose boundaries he’d crossed by even visiting her job—into coming to his AA meeting.

Because that’s exactly what people really working those steps totally do. If you can’t read the sarcasm dripping off that, please exit.

To recap: Law & Order: SVU 23×21 was like: Hey, let’s make alcoholism an excuse for grooming, raping, throwing glasses, and God knows what else. Because, like, addicts, people with a real illness, aren’t judged enough. And mental illness isn’t stigmatized enough.

Also, while we’re at it…Let’s just piss all over what actually working through a 12-Step program even looks like. Fun! Even more “fun” to forget the “except when to do so would injure them or others” part of Step Nine, huh. Pretty sure further traumatizing abuse victims and/or leaving yet one more serial predator roaming the streets counts as harm? Forget the fact that there’s no “direct amends” involved in *gestures wildly* any of it.

Burton was the real victim here, guys. And we totally needed to see his story, to hear his voice, and see Captain Benson do her caring and careful thing with him, at the expense of her own trauma. Because, LULZ, she’s not been traumatized at all!

Olivia doesn’t need to work through anything, and can’t at all have full conversations with anyone else in her life without it taking away from victims or turning SVU into a telenovela. Let’s write fic about Burton and Liv, fam!

Sure, like. This is fine.

Where was Olivia Benson?

This is not the Olivia Benson I’ve known and loved for 23 years. Or, well. She was there in that first diner scene. Maybe. Even then, the jury’s still out.

After that…Your girl definitely got body-snatched. Or maybe she had one of those wacky AF Melrose Place lobotomies from Kimberly…whatever her last name was at the time. Soapy, and all.

Only logical explanation. I mean, Liv really thought it was the right thing to hear Burton out?

And she had to defend this asshole throughout the episode? To quote Sidney Prescott, “I’ve heard all this shit before.”

Because, seriously. We already played the “defend the abuser until we find out he did something ‘worse’ to other women” game, Liv. And honestly, if I’m dropping Scream references here, I’d literally rather be hanging from a tree limb with my insides on the outside than listen to this from Olivia Benson after she’s already come to terms with her past.

She knows better. Just…stop.

I mean, she is too good for this world, so maybe meeting with Groomery McDisgusting once would have made sense. And there’s something to be said for trying to get closure for herself…

But like, y’all. Y’all. Is this…Is this what the “this show is about the victims! We tell the survivors’ stories!!11oneone234” crowd wanted?

…Captain Benson of the Special Victims Unit fucked off in the middle of the case to hear a groomer talk about how she was his first real love. Then, she hopped on over to grab a bite and a heart-to-heart with him, in which they confessed their love for each other some more.

So much for Law & Order: SVU 23×21 being here to honor victims. Unless, of course, you want to be all, “poor Burton. He’s the real victim here,” the way this obviously totally honest about his addiction recovery (no) dude clearly wanted Liv to be.

Even after Thee™ highly-decorated SVU Captain found out her groomer raped another woman about two seconds after fucking her and pretending to be all lovey whatever…

She…tried to defend him? To Carisi? Yeah. The math ain’t mathing.

Let’s just add one more reason to wish we could all pour the world’s supply of bleach directly into our brains to forget Law & Order: SVU 23×21: At the end of the episode, Olivia met with Burton for, like, the billionth time—more times than we’ve seen her with her own son in Law & Order: SVU Season 23, to be honest.

And what did our dearly-beloved warrior for justice do?

…she talked, all besties-like, with her abuser. You know, just things people who are simultaneously victims and NYPD Captains do with their groomers—who raped people within the last six months—do. Blah, blah. Cute joke about can’t do podcasts anymore. (Still not sober behavior, the whining about consequences under the guise of “humor.”)

And…Olivia…asked…Burton…if…his…lawyer was fine with his plea deal? Clearly, that’s the most important question coming out of this episode.

Law & Order: SVU 23×21 sends a terrible message to survivors and grossly mismanages the concept of forgiveness

So, if an abuser wants to “make amends,” we owe them a ton of our time, huh? That’s the message “Confess Your Sins to Be Free” gives an untold number of survivors and vulnerable people, watching from home.

After all, that’s the example our leading lady set here. That’s what the focus of the hour of television was. Aaaaaand that’s not just our interpretation either.

It appears to be, how you say…the moral of the story.

Except there are no morals here, certainly not for Burton Lowe.

So, to be clear to everyone out there (if you’ve made it through this ragefest so far): You do not owe your abuser anything—not even forgiveness.

And yes, Olivia Benson was groomed by Burton Lowe. That is a fact. We learned that in “The Five Hundredth Episode.” Liv came to terms with it back then. This was all a painful, unnecessary mess. It’s really that simple.

Spending a mere five months in AA meetings did not qualify as Burton doing anything anywhere near enough to earn Olivia Benson’s forgiveness. And yes, forgiveness has to be earned. At least in my world it does.

In Judaism, it’s not this shiny-happy people, “forgive everyone, no matter what horrible thing they’ve done” because yadda, yadda, yadda…something about your soul. If someone asks me for forgiveness, they have to make true amends. With me, not their home group. And the work they do has to be, in some way, proportional to how bad the offense was.

So, let’s take a look at the things Burton Lowe did to Olivia Benson before attempting to “make amends” in Law & Order: SVU 23×21, shall we?

He:

• groomed her
• slept with her, at age 21, when she was a teen
• further damaged her already-bad relationship with her mom
• disrespected her position as an NYPD Captain, repeatedly
• took advantage of her vulnerability and sunny view of the past to get one more fuck out of her
• mocked her when she confronted him about all of the above, plus the multiple other women he assaulted
• threw a glass at her
• and whatever else I’m missing.

Oh, and he also mansplained to her how he threw the glass “at the wall,” not her (sure, Jan), during his little “amends” session. Toss some gaslighting on that “amends” fire!

That’s a pretty hefty list. So, no. Five whole months of working on himself—and not very well, for all of the reasons in the section about how offensive and messed up the alcoholism aspect of this was—doesn’t cut it. In fact, there are some wrongs that can never be made right. I’d say the grooming, alone, falls under that.

Maybe Captain Benson needed to do the lighter type of forgiveness, the kind that helped her get past the trauma. Great! Even so, that’s not the vomit-inducing image we saw here.

There’s also this: Burton clearly failed at righting his wrongs with all those other women. There’s no way he could have gotten it all done in a whopping five months. And Olivia Benson, super-duper superhero that she is, can’t forgive on behalf of someone else. Not in my faith, at least.

Since that’s the case, he has not been absolved of his wrongdoing toward others—whether Liv was this totally different, “stand by my abuser instead of his victims,” trainwreck of a character in SVU 23×21 or not. And if Liv is the person we loved for 23 years at all, then when the victims don’t forgive, which they are not obligated to do, neither does she.

So. What in fuck’s name?

Another person who can never forgive Burton Lowe: Serena Benson. She’s dead. Not even Magical Forgiving Drone Liv can do that on her behalf. Soooooo, still no redemption.

But boy, did someone at Law & Order: SVU really, really want everyone to see this as a redemption arc for Burton Lowe. Whoever it was really wanted to make the point that everyone deserves forgiveness—that even groomers, and rapists, and all sorts of toxic garbage are owed that by the people they’ve harmed.

That’s a big, fat no from me.

It’s wildly dangerous to present it in any other way. Shame to every single person who thought that was a good idea.

If that includes our fave, well. That’s certainly a disappointment. But whatever, I guess. Forgiveness and all.

The good ain’t enough

The episode had its good points, I guess?

I mean, Fin actually responded to Burton Lowe the way literally anyone, ever, should. That’s…something. Not that Liv listened, of course.

And as usual, Mariska Hargitay delivered a fantastic performance. It’s truly something for me to be able to say that I noticed anything at all about the acting, considering.

I mean, it took me until 22 minutes of watching SVU 23×21 in to figure out what the main victim’s name was. See, I was too busy trying to keep myself from clenching my jaw so hard, I lost every single last one of my teeth.

Because, this was personal. Deeply. As someone with a loved one who (God willing) will have 20 years in sobriety as of July 2022 thanks to AA, I can’t handle the gross misrepresentation. And as someone who has been on the receiving end of the Ninth Step, as someone who has seen what recovery does and doesn’t look like—what attending an open meeting is like, even —I was kind of experiencing the simultaneous urges to cry, throw up, throw my laptop across the room to smash both it and my TV, and go curl up in the fetal position.

Because this was bad. It made a joke out of the hard work and presented the illness as an excuse for doing those things—the ones Burton did. So, yeah. I…couldn’t pay attention to much else, couldn’t even try when I felt like I was about to crawl out of my own skin. Anything to shut out what I was watching and that buzzing in my ears.

And because nobody, not even our comfort character, was speaking for survivors…But we’ve covered all of that so.

Anyway. Where was I? Ah, yes.

The star of the show was awesome, as expected. Yay?

I’ve often asked if the performance was worth it when watching particularly-sickening content. As much as possible, I’ve tried to lean toward giving creatives the benefit of the doubt and maybe leaving that question hanging. But let me be clear: No. There is nothing—not one thing—even the great Mariska Hargitay could ever possibly do to make any of this remotely ok.

I’ve been quoted for my effusive praise of SVU‘s leading lady before. Something tells me nobody Important™ is going to listen to, much less quote, me on how painful the experience of watching this episode was.

Get ready for the T.H.I.N.K. pieces and the name-calling from the White House Press Secretary instead.

Confess how harmful Law & Order: SVU 23×21 was to be free

• Ok but she recused herself from the case last time. WTF with the private visit this time?
• Us: Release the diner scene. Them: Here. Have Liv in a diner with her groomer, who we’re going to let her “make amends” with while pissing all over actual addicts in recovery in the process.
• I mean, I’m pretty sure it’s frowned upon to invite an NYPD Captain to an AA meeting, even if it’s an open one. The obvious exception is if the cop is the actual addict. Which, at this point, is Liv addicted to people who treat her like trash? Hell, I’ll even throw Stabler under that particular bus if I must.
• Speaking of: They deleted the one scene with him after we saw (and loved) it. But this…was fine. Ok.
• “You mean gossiped? No. That would be a violation of the confessional seal.” Sure. Like a priest has never violated anything or anyone before. Ok, Carisi.
• Again, nobody owes an abuser kindness. We owe abusers nothing. Period.
• “…not a rabbi…” Sure. Let’s shade rabbis while we’re at it to hit me on one more personal layer. Why the fuck not.
• Olivia Benson no longer cares about victims, total doormat, [insert other misogynistic things I can’t even repeat for the sake of dragging y’all here] if she forgives her former partner for ghosting her. (Which, again, was wrong. And again, Bald Bitch deserves somethig worse than The Slap™ that had so many people clutching their pearls. ) Buuuuut taking time off from a case to support a rapist…A-Ok. Glad we have priorities.
• “That’s impossible! He’s a priest!” This woman has never, not once, read the news.
• “I just made amends to her.” No. You. Did. Not.
• Look: No offense to Aidan Quinn. But like. Don’t cry to me about budget, schedules, or anything else with respect to even a one-sided phone call ever again after filming 17 billion scenes with a single guest star, as a rapist’s redemption arc.
• Ummm…and literally. Over a year. No real conversations. But…wtfever this mess was.
• Wtf with “her side,” Liv? It’s literally a fact. You, of all people, should know the evidence screams rape, Captain.
• “He said he’s going to continue practicing humility…” Empty words to get out of jail. Again, not how it works. Also again: Vile misrepresentation of a 12-Step journey.
• “I want to forgive you, Burton.” Eh. Dumb but ok. “You don’t have to. You were kind enough to listen to me. That means a lot.” Correct words, from the wrong person, after too much damage.
• “I hope I make it.” I hope you don’t.
• No but I honestly don’t know if I have the words, even with every iteration of the word “fuck,” to explain how much this is hurtful to me, personally. On the deepest of personal levels.
• And then, I just think about the rest of the audience and, like…It’s worse.

Need a place to vent about how toxic Law & Order: SVU 23×21 was? Drop us a comment. We’re here for you.

Law & Order: SVU airs Thursdays at 9/8c on NBC.