Relationships are difficult enough, but when you’re in high school, everything is heightened. Feelings are so brand new that they over take everything. Yet, even when you get older, feelings stay with you. It doesn’t get easier.
Do you remember being a teenager and Valentines day? It was the worst. It was like a display of people reminding you that they had someone and you didn’t. And hey, there isn’t a character this episode that isn’t dealing with emotions and this horrendous holiday in someway.
And where does that start? Some stupid high school quiz where they figure out who is best for you? That’s the type of shit that wars are started over – well high school wars.
It’s Valentines Day and Devi should be feeling on top of the world. But she’s not. She’s feeling like Paxton shouldn’t want to be with her and she doesn’t get why he would want to. She thinks that he should be with Haley. That would make more sense.
And it’s killing Devi that she didn’t get Paxton on the quiz. She got Eric and that’s not good enough for her. Especially since she’s feeling insecure that she’s the reason that Paxton and Haley are speaking again. What she didn’t plan on was them being such good friends.
But what I wonder here when Devi will realize that she’s good enough. She’s focusing so much on the reasons that she thinks that Paxton and her shouldn’t be together, rather than realizing, they make sense because they like each other.
Anyhow Devi is upfront with Paxton and tells her that she’s upset that she got Eric and Paxton tries to tell her that it’s not that bad. Eric is always the first person that notices that he has gotten a haircut. He says it doesn’t matter, because he got her and Devi takes that as the final word. If the test said she was the only one good enough for Paxton, that’s all she needed to know.
What I don’t understand is why it is that Devi doesn’t get it, that she shouldn’t care what people or some test think. She should care what she thinks. What Paxton thinks. Then again, I also remember being a seventeen year old girl and feeling like what people thought of me was the end of the world. For her, seeing that Paxton got her felt like validation, it felt like she could trust in the test and trust that her and Paxton made sense.
She’s riding high for a bit, until their Valentines Day dinner when she, again, starts questioning why they are even together. What part of them makes sense? She doesn’t stop pressing the situation, because even though he tells her that they make sense to him, he doesn’t tell her why.
While I will say that it’s not his responsibility to make her feel better, it would be nice. Teenage girls are needy creatures. We are hormonal. We don’t know how to handle things. Though, lets also give Paxton credit because he did try to make her feel better by trading cards with Eric so he got her. He knew how she’d react.
He just sucked at hiding it.
Do I condone lying? Nope. But do I also understand what Paxton did. I also think that Devi trying to trap him in the lie, rather than talk it out with him is part of the reason that she doesn’t need to be in a relationship. Of course she’s hurt. Of course she’s angry.
Devi holds everything in and that’s an issue. Even when she is at her therapists office the next day to talk about what is happening and about being jealous of Haley.
When she finds out that Haley is playing paint ball with Paxton she looses it. Does she know that she needs to let this stupid test go? Yes. Does she decide that she can’t let this go until she beats Haley at paint ball? Also yes.
She’s angry that Paxton didn’t put her on his team. She’s angry that he said he was playing paint ball with dudes and Haley is there. Turns out though, that she’s channeled that anger into being really good at paint ball, until she becomes too cocky and Paxton gets her out.
She takes Paxton to town for shooting her with paintballs, and he doesn’t get it. This all ties back to Devi’s insecurities, which have to be a lot for her to handle. She’s always circling back to why Paxton wants to be with her. She’s always circling back to what other people think.
I was surprised when Paxton told her that they couldn’t be together, that she needed to like herself first. There is no part of me that didn’t break for Devi, but there was also every part of me that understood.
Devi has gone through a lot and though she’s faced a lot head on, she’s also not faced everything. Devi was always validated by her Dad, but she’s now searching for validation anywhere else she can get it. I am no shrink, but I truly feel that Devi is still dealing with her Dads death, as well as being a teenage girl, as well as all the changes at home. She’s gotta put herself first.
The heartache is going to hurt like a bitch. She’s going to feel nothing but pain and anguish. The world will feel like it ended.
But it hasn’t.
ELEANOR
One thing that I love about Eleanor is her dramatics. Sure, sometimes it is a lot to take, but most of the time, it just reminds me of being a teenager.
She’s decided that she needs to breakup with Trent, which if we’re being honest, I get. It makes sense, because it is Eleanor and that’s just her. She wants someone who is as equally dramatic as she is.
Every time that she gets the courage to breakup with him, he does something that makes her put it off. This time, he dangles Valentines day dinner, with his uncle, who recruits people at family dinners for his commercials. Eleanor knows his uncles commercials and so she doesn’t say anything about breaking up.
Instead goes to the dinner and gets a part in the commercial. When you get something that you want, but you get it the wrong way, you can tell the type of person that they are. See, if you don’t feel bad – there is something wrong.
Eleanor feels horrible and needs to come clean. But when she does, Trent tells her that she’s his first girlfriend and he’s insecure about that. He also tells her that he manipulated her and dangled his Uncle in front of her like a carrot so she wouldn’t break up with him.
This is all she needs to hear. Why? Because this means that he’s just as dramatic as her.
ANEESA AND FABIOLA
I was worried after the last episode how this would play out. Why? Because of the kiss. Both didn’t know what to do after it and now they are acting all sorts of awkward around each other.
Aneesa is going through a lot. She likes Ben, but Ben keeps putting her down and it is very obvious that he likes Devi. He can say whatever he wants, but he doesn’t know how to be kind. Yes, I said it.
Now, overall right now I am team Ben for Devi, but I also think they aren’t meant to be together until like their 20’s when they figure out who they are. Ben is too oblivious to how he treats people.
He puts Aneesa down, acting as if she’s not good enough because she and him don’t share the same interests. When she doesn’t know the book 1984, he tells her that they need to get her a library card. While most of us would have knocked him out right there, she takes it.
When Aneesa stands up for herself and breaks up with Ben, I wanted to cheer for her. It’s not easy to take control of your life and stand up for who you are. Aneesa has gone through a lot and she’s growing. Figuring out who you are is sometimes the hardest thing that you can go through.
Having to talk to Fabiola right after that and the two agreeing to forget what happened, well – first, I don’t think that will actually happen – was also another moment of growth.
Fabiola may be going through her own shit, but she’s always, without fail, there for her friends. She’s proven over and over that they need to be better to her, but I don’t wanna get ahead of myself. We all should want to be the friend Fabiola is, there for others unconditionally.
NALINI AND FRIENDS
Nalini has built her life around work and family. Her husband passed and she misses him. She hasn’t change her routine.
I know what it’s like to loose someone you love, but I can’t even imagine loosing the love of your life. When we see flashbacks of her and Mohan, I have to admit, I wish we got to see more of what the two of them were like together. I wish that we all got to meet Mohan, because everything we learn about him, we see a kind, loving, and devoted husband and father.
Moving forward after someone dies feels like you are loosing them, but Nalini, Mohan would want you to move forward. He would want you to live, not just exist.
It was nice to see her have a girls day. It was nice to see her laugh and see her really try new things. It was nice to see her get a blowout and be so excited over new hair. Nalini can be a hard ass, because she feels like she’s had to be that. But all she has to be is human.
All she has to be is herself. That’s what Devi needs. But most of all, that’s what Nalini needs.
OTHER THOUGHTS
- Nalini and Raya out for acai bowls, it was cute to see. Also I hate Acai bowls, but to each their own
- Mohan and the bobble head. Great idea.
- Devi confronting Eric over the card. I really would have done the same thing, but I feel for her. I want her to believe in herself.
- The therapist cussing… yup. Can we all agree the therapist is 100% the best.
Never Have I Ever is streaming now on Netflix.
