In Up Here 1×05 “Labels,” Lindsay (Mae Whitman) finally gives in to the voices in her head, listening to them more than she should. Well, one voice, at least. In her efforts to find herself in New York, she’s never been further from figuring out who she is. Which isn’t entirely a bad thing, I suppose. Sometimes you find yourself by figuring out who you aren’t as much as figuring out who you are.
Which is the case for Lindsay, at least, when she comes to realize that she doesn’t need to listen to those voices. Or, rather, she doesn’t need to listen to that one particular voice. The voice of a girl she never even really knew. More the fantasy of who that girl would have been, really.
Throughout Up Here, Miguel (Carlos Valdes) and Lindsay have struggled with their inner voices. They certainly haven’t opened up about them to each other. And, okay, that’s pretty realistic. It’s something they would have kept hidden all their lives, because people don’t always respond well to the revelation that someone hears voices.
But the fact of the matter is, almost all of us hear voices in one form or another. They may not come complete with song-and-dance hallucinations. But that doesn’t mean they’re not there, in the back of our minds. Often with the echoes of the memory of the people who first uttered the words. A friend overheard making fun of us behind our back. A parent saying we’re not enough in some way. An ex saying that we’re somehow too much. The voices that tear us down and make us doubt. The words that would shake – or shatter – our confidence.
Of course, if we listen hard enough, there are often the better voices in there, too. The voices that say we can do this! We’re awesome! But, to quote Pretty Woman, “the bad stuff is easier to believe.” At least, it often tends to be more persistent about being heard.
So it really isn’t entirely a surprise that Lindsay would give in and try to be what her fantasy “cool girl” would want her to be. Even if that isn’t who she is. At least her journey leads her to some self-discovery, in the end. Whoever she turns out to be, it isn’t who that fantasy would urge her to be. But, then again, whoever the fantasy girl really was in real life probably wasn’t the same as the mirage in her head.
And, while Lindsay comes to terms with a little self-realization in Up Here 1×05 “Labels,” Miguel confronts some honesty of his own. Admitting that, yes, he was falling for Lindsay, and that’s why he pushed her away. Now here’s hoping these two adorable idiots can take the next step forward together.
That is, before they inevitably trip over their own feet and faceplant. Again.
