While the first episode of season 2 of What If…? felt like a brooding tribute to the essence of Blade Runner, 2×02 was a reminder that there were plenty of heroes on Earth before the Avengers came around. And there were an infinite amount of realities where different team-ups happened on a mission to save the world. This time around, they just so happened to be trying to save the world from a young Peter Quill. And by the end of the episode two things happened. One: My hate for Ego has grown exponentially. And two: I’ve come to appreciate the Guardians of the Galaxy soundtrack on a completely different level, wowing me at this fanfic AU and the level of thought put into this part of Peter’s story.
Overall, it was nice to see that this episode is really leaning into the fan fiction of it all. We got to see a bunch of familiar characters in different stages of their lives. We saw a young Hank Pym and an older Peggy, the latter still being a badass. And we even got to know Captain Marvel’s mentor Wendy Lawson, the Black Panther that came before T’Challa aka T’Chaka, and a version of the Winter Soldier who was liberated a little earlier by the power of friendship. But the heart of it all was Peter Quill and the love of music that he shared with his mother. Because we’ve all been here for volume one through three of the Guardians of the Galaxy soundtrack. But this episode of What If…? really cracked open why it’s so special and what would happen if Peter didn’t have it.
Peter was lost in this episode. Sure he was trying to make his way home. But along the way he was lost. Ego destroyed the last bit of his mother by destroying his Walkman and completely manipulated this young man to enact his plan to be the one singular being in the universe. Self-centered much? Well, a lot. A lot self-centered. So much so that he was willing to use a child, his child, to enact his plan. And don’t get me wrong, I remember all the bullshit that Ego did in Guardians of the Galaxy 2. I remember all the planets he visited and all the kids he tried to have. Those kids didn’t make it. Peter did. And he suffered as well for it. Instead of receiving grace and kindness in his time of mourning, Ego used him like he was just another pawn, making it abundantly clear that Ego is worth nothing.
The first time that I saw a spark of true humanity in Peter during this What If…? episode was when he heard music once again. It’s like whatever hold Ego had on him came to a screeching halt as he bonded with Hope and opened up about how it was one of his mother’s favorite songs. It wasn’t manipulation so Hope could get him out. It was a kid remembering the love that he shared with his mother through music. This gave him the power to shake off his dad and help save the day while finding a new home for himself on his and his mother’s planet. And in seeing him become this little hero, it made me think back on what was going through our Peter Quill’s life when he was younger and with Yondu.
Peter had to be terrified. Who wouldn’t after the death of your mother and being kidnapped by Ravagers? But he had something that this What If…? version of Peter didn’t have. He still had his mother’s music. It wasn’t her voice and it totally would have been better if she was still alive. But he had a piece of her that reminded him of his humanity and the unwavering love that his mother had for him. It grounded him in his darkest moments and in a way made it so his mother was there during his biggest achievements. She went on adventures with him through this music, making it so he was never alone. And by the end of Guardians of the Galaxy 3, you saw the way that the music shifted over to Rocket, as a reminder that Peter will always be there with him and they will always have each other.
Music kept Peter grounded through the three Guardians of the Galaxy movies in the same way that music has saved my life. I have tattoos dedicated to music. I’ve gone to plenty of concerts, not because they were simply my favorites, but because when I was alone and sad, they held by hand. Music helped me channel my anger and my sadness when I felt like there was no end to the pain that I was going through. And even today, when I listen to specific songs, I get goosebumps and remember how this music held me close and made me feel safe or free. Point being, music has tightly wrapped itself around me and protected my mind from things that kids shouldn’t experience. And this What If…? episode proves that music protected and guided Peter Quill as well. It’s saved him like it saved me.
