Suits LA is a thing most fans of the original series not only never asked for but also very much never wanted. The silver lining has, of course, always been that you can’t destroy our happy ending if you go the franchise route and have this mess have (allegedly) nothing really to do with the firm that started it all. But, well. The casting news is already s****ing all over the legacy of a show that once prided itself on putting its s***s to good use — 2616 s***s (including BS), with an average of roughly 15 per episode and a maximum of 32. Yes, I counted. If the numbers are, in any way, off? It’s because I cared too much and was too focused on the series — because, seriously, WTF. Stephen Amell? Where do we even start?
Perhaps we should start with recent events, with his BS take on the SAG strike and its rules. That’s especially important to remember here, considering how dedicated to the cause Suits star Gina Torres was this summer. Amell gets to reap the benefits of what people like Torres busted their a**** for — in more ways than one. This money-grab of a spinoff only exists because of the work that people like Torres did. People like Gabriel Macht and Sarah Rafferty (also visible on the picket lines — including, at one point, smooching Torres on the cheek).
…and they weren’t alone instanding up for what was right either. The list goes on forever, probably. But we won’t leave out our beloved, super-brained fraud Mike Ross, Patrick J. Adams. You know, the guy who literally had to take down, and apologize for, an “I miss my friends” Instagram post because it had behind the scenes photos). And Wendell Pierce (spoke at a huge rally in NYC during strikes), Dulé Hill, who also frequently picketed...or our Louis Litt, Rick Hoffman, who didn’t promote his films until after the strike was over and, as far as we know, didn’t cry about it either.
…I am too full of rage to list them all. Rage and, honestly, pain. Not even joking.
While their show was busy setting records, there were repeated references to how much their work was not getting paid for. But sure. Amell gets to “star” (are y’all f**cking kidding) as the “charismatic” (no, really. Are y’all kidding???) lead of something that not only capitalizes off the new contract that people actually supportive of their union fought for…but also what these people, and these characters, specifically brought to us. It feels like Daniel Hardman coming back to run the firm all over again — except, this time, he wins. Like Stemple taking Harvey’s duck painting for himself, just because he knows it will hurt Harvey the most…and Harvey never getting to reconcile with his mom or get a replacement before she dies. Or like Sean Cahill being in league with Forstman and leaving Mike in prison to be killed by Gallo or something.
Another list that could go on forever.
But wait! There’s more!
Amell isn’t just terrible because of his anti-union whining or his notable absence from his former cast’s themed picket. And not just because of his “toddler smearing s*** on the walls of Pearson Specter Litt” face in the photo on the lines in New York after he’d been suitably put in timeout. It goes deeper than that. This man has a history of extremely racist and misogynistic comments and behavior…but he’s going to be welcomed into the Suits-iverse??? His own friends dumped him over his opposition to Black Lives Matter, among other things. But let him into the money-grab spinoff of the house that Afro-Latina queen Gina “Jessica Goddamn Pearson” Torres built????
And OMG WTF. Going from the pure talent and soul of a Gabriel Macht, who brought everything to Harvey Specter…to this???? For the record, no one wants a “you’re worthy” moment for Amell. Ever. And no, it does not say anywhere in the Book of Donna that there is any way to make this ok. It’s not even on Louis’ dictaphone.
They really weren’t lying when they said Suits LA wouldn’t at all be related to the original. (Other than for using name recognition of an extremely popular and beloved series for a disgusting corporate greed agenda, of course.) Here’s hoping none of the original stars ever make an appearance. Let the firm with no permanent name live on in our memories and fanfiction.
And no, they’d better never let the can opener, or any similar ritual, cross that man’s lips either. While we’re at it, he’d better never get to touch anything remotely close to Harvey’s records or balls. And God help whatever woman has to act opposite him as “just the secretary.” Any potential leading and/or supporting ladies may want to take the Meghan Markle approach and ditch the desk for a duke or whatever.
Yikes. What an absolute joke, and what a way to show you really don’t get what Suitors love about…anything, really. Burn it all down. Here’s hoping this Suits LA mess either never gets out of pilot hell or someone comes along and knocks him out of that role like Jessica getting Hardman’s name off the wall. Forget “Litt comes last” It’s now “take Amell’s name off our goddamn wall.” Oh. And it’ll always, always PSL forever. We’d say something like please take care of our home, but…well. Too late.
