Days after watching Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire, I’m still having trouble putting into words how much I loved this movie. And I think I’ve finally landed on something. Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire feels like a palate cleanser. Everything is so overwhelming and serious right now. Whether it’s our actual world or the movies we consume, it feels heavy. And while we can’t ignore the real hurt that is going on in our world and we should check out those hard stories that are explored in movies, sometimes we need a little break. This movie is that break. Because not for one second did I really use any brain power while watching The New Empire. If anything, I spent more time adding my own dialogue to what Godzilla, Kong, and Mothra were saying to each other. And I loved every second of it.
Overall I do feel like this movie was more of a King Kong story. They put Godzilla at the beginning because she’s the best seller. And before you call me out for calling Godzilla a she, we don’t know about Godzilla’s bits and why are you assuming automatically that they are a he? And what does it even add to the story for you to argue they’re a “he.” But back to the movie. Godzilla spent this movie napping, being pissed off that she got interrupted napping, and then juicing up for a fight against an icy foe and their capturer. Then when the battle was done, she gave Kong a head nod and then bounced. I love Godzilla just as much as any other bisexual, but I do feel for the people who probably went to the theater thinking that they were going to get more Godzilla. It shows that Hollywood trusts that Godzilla will get people through the door more than trusting that the audience would actually come for Kong.
As for our big hairy boy, I feel like everything that Kong went through in this movie is something that we’ve seen before. I can’t quite place my finger on it right now but that one scene where Kong comes upon all the other apes and helps up the one that was being hit before putting the smackdown on the slave driver, I’ve seen that before. And then right after the big bad ape circles him and makes fun of him for having his fake tooth and everyone else joins in hesitantly. We’ve seen that scene too before with humans. And I’m not particularly bothered that Godzilla x Kong decided they were going to give us a gorilla version of that. In fact, I have to commend The New Empire for being able to convey so much dialogue and depth without speaking a single word. Shout out to the special effects as well, because the depth of emotion in Kong’s eyes was fantastic.
Kong as a character has always been one of my favorites when it comes to the monster verse because he just wants to belong. Out of all the monsters, you can feel his loneliness within the writing, the body language, and the look in his eyes. So it was like watching his hero’s journey in The New Empire. Godzilla was the showstopper bringing people through the door but Kong was the one finding a new home and people. We also have to talk about the fact that he had his whole “grumpy dad finds feral child and becomes a parent” adventure. I’ve seen this talked about time and time again on social media as one of the tropes that people love. But I haven’t seen people talk about this happening in The New Empire with the little baby gorilla. He became a dad. And now he’s a king. I loved it.
I guess the humans had a whole role in all of this, but they were kind of insignificant to the plot and to me. I’m really grateful that the humans protected Mothra until she could come back and yell at Godzilla to chill out. But that’s about it. The humans moved the plot along in small ways that I truly believe could be cut to give them less time and the monsters more time. I will admit though that the one human that I feel really got things was the blonde guy. Not only did he give Kong a robot arm, he fixed his toothache and told the other guy basically these are Indigenous communities and what do you think is going to happen when this video gets out on the internet? It could be interpreted as white saviorish and there are a whole slew of other connotations in that specific interaction. But this is a review about giant monsters fighting each other and as a white Latina, I don’t know if I can speak to this particular exchange.
I’m also very aware that there is a lot of chatter online about The New Empire and how it’s just a WWE smackdown but with monsters and I’m like…so? I know what I came here for. I knew what was going to happen when I sat down to watch Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire. I knew that it was going to be absolutely ridiculous and that I was going to laugh more than I expected. (Am I the only one who was shocked into laughter at Kong using the baby gorilla to smack those other ones up? A bit dark. But I laughed because it was so wtf.) And I knew that I was going to spend almost 2 hours watching The New Empire questioning what the writer’s room for this movie was like when they pitched Kong jumping on Godzilla’s back and then having an epic battle with Mothra flying around and being a good wing woman.
Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire is an acquired taste for some. But for the ride-or-die people who love the monster verse for its wild moments, while still appreciating the brilliance of something like Godzilla: Minus One, we’re having a good time. We’re laughing in the theater while adding dialogue to the moment that Godzilla actually came upon Kong and Kong was like “hey wait a minute, it’s not what it looks like” before Mothra came and was like “Children, I literally had to be brought back to stop this mess. Let’s work together.” We’re having a good time and I always appreciate when movies like this come around because they find a good balance between telling an engaging story, giving us some amazing graphics, and allowing us to just relax in a world where everything feels like it’s falling apart.
Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire is now in theaters.
A masterpiece? What a joke! Hey people what do you think of my new video game? Terrible movie, lovely colors but absolutely terrible!!!