You didn’t think this would happen again, did you? The man that was raised by apes and fell in love with a foreigner has been done over and over. (Even the silly one with Brendan Fraser counts.) But here it is ladies and gentlemen! A new version of Tarzan that digs into its storybook origins to give us a new tale.
After getting used to life in London our hero Tarzan (Alexander Skarsgard) and his love Jane (Margot Robbie) get wrapped up in a mining encampment investigation. Everything goes to hell when she gets kidnapped and he comes to her rescue (after losing his shirt.)
Loincloths are Out, Pants are In
Never again will Tarzan fly through the sky in a barely there loincloth. Times are changing and our mysterious man is a little bit more modest in 2016. Sure his abs might be illegal and the pants skin tight…but he’s a sensible man who only wants Jane’s eyes on him.
Gorillas are Horrifying
I know they raised our hero. I also know that they were the only family he’s ever truly known. But that doesn’t stop me from being scared by them. The special effects used to bring these creatures to life only get better as the years pass and I’m having trouble telling if they’re real or not. Best stay away from them anyway.
Jane and Tarzan are OTP
No matter what verse or version is told of this grand story, Jane and Tarzan are meant for each other. He will always come for her and she will always have faith in him.
It’s Ok to Have Flashbacks to the Disney Version
Disney completely changed the way I looked at this tale. Now every time I think of it, I picture the loving relationship between a boy and his mother, who just happens to be a gorilla. And that’s OK! (IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN THIS MOVIE GET ON IT! LIFE CHANGING!)
Important question: Will Phil Collins reprise his role as the soundtrack of the movie? Yes, I said soundtrack. He is everything in the Disney version of Tarzan. That’s the one question that keeps on popping into my head watching this trailer. Where’s Phil!?
Tarzan is Perfect
That little pinkie popping up while drinking tea isn’t just for show. He’s a gentleman who uses proper dining room etiquette even in the face of all those men interrupting him. As for the rest of him, his hair is on point and not a strand is out of place in his designer suit. He always looks his best.
(Especially when dripping wet with no shirt on and in the middle of the forest.)
The Legend of Tarzan hits theaters July 1, 2016.