Not So Deep Thoughts From ‘Outlander’ Season 2×03 “Useful Occupations and Deceptions”

Not-so-deep thoughts from episode three of Outlander “Useful Occupations and Deceptions.”

1 – I miss Scotland. No offense France.
2 – She doesn’t look like shes’ sleeping comfy.
3 – Damn I thought ambulances were loud, but that horse is loud.
4 – Where can I get blackout curtains that make my room that dark.
5 – I miss Jamie in a kilt, but he’s hot still.
6 – Claire asks a lot of questions.
7 – Why are the servants always there.
8 – That collar on Jamie’s shirt looks really hot.
9 – Jamie still has bad hair.
10 – Claire looks annoyed.
11 – Morning sickness – that shits a bitch.
12 – I can’t wait to see Jamie as a Daddy.
13 – Jamie don’t go.
14 – Oh fanny packs were apparently never cute.
15 – Walking with your sword on your hip – I wonder how one sits down.

16 – French dresses – I mean girls, your boobs are out.
17 – What’s the big deal about Frenchman?
18 – Wait, what do Frenchman do in bed?
19 – OMG- does this girl not know what sex is.
20 – Yup I’d be laughing too.
21 – Mary, you are so innocent.
22 – I still can’t look at Frank. I try, but I can’t.
23 – Claire – your dresses are so pretty.
24 – Shit – Frank may not exist?
25 – Claire, I wouldn’t want your time traveling issues.
26 – I wanna go to France.
27 – Why does everyone have bad wigs?
28 – Oh shit – that’s awkward.
29 – Yup, and that gets even more awkward.
30 – Claire, why do you seem so bitter?
31 – Damn she’s a bitter bitch today. Hormones?
32 – Wait, how do we know that Jack Randall is alive?
33 – I am going to puke.
34 – Yup, Randall is the devil’s spawn.
35 – What are they going to tell Jamie?
36 – Claire – you are always living a lie.

37 – I’m bored.
38 – Where’s Jamie?
39 – France is pretty.
40 – I wanna go to France.
41 – That’s a pretty ceiling.
42 – Yup, bad wigs again.
43 – I thank God for hair products.
44 – I thank God for TV.
45 – Chess bores me.
46 – I want grape koolaid.
47 – Jamie is good at chess. He should probably let someone else win.
48 – Hahaha, never allow someone to respect you less.
49 – I really want to go to France.
50 – Listening to Jamie talk – his voice is like butter.
51 – I can’t type out French names.
52 – Claire looks like she’s wearing 80 pounds of clothing.
53 – And more bad wigs.
54 – That guy needs to pull the stick out of his ass.
55 – Claire sometimes one should keep their mouth shut.
56 – Sometimes one shouldn’t play their hand.
57 – One should never say they are an unusual lady.
58 – What’s wrong with conventional?
59 – Good idea – put Claire to work.
60 – Don’t people ever get hot?

61 – Claire I don’t think your husband will be happy with you.
62 – I don’t know how the nuns keep their outfits so white.
63 – The nuns seem uptight – well the head nun.
64 – Why is everyone always judging Claire.
65 – That dress makes your bootie look huge Claire.
66 – That was gross Claire – why would you put urine on your tongue.
67 – I am thankful for modern medicine.
68 – Oh boring men talk.
69 – What is it with men liking boobs in their face?
70 – What is on your mind Jamie?
71 – I am thankful that Jamie doesn’t wear a wig.
72 – Jamie doesn’t seem to be buying this crap.
73 – Oh shit, Claire you may be in trouble cause you ain’t home.
74 – Yup me thinks Claire is going to get a talking to.
75 – Anyone else’s nose ever itch?
76 – Jamie looks mad.
77 – Claire – you are gonna be told that you should listen to your hubby.
78 – Jamie a woman isn’t incapable of working cause she’s prego.
79 – He’s really effin pissed.
80 – Why can’t Jamie understand what Claire is feeling?
81 – Damn he’s got a point.
82 – Um, you may have changed the past Claire.
83 – Are you really sorry Claire?
84 – Can you help Jamie get a better attitude?
85 – Why can’t Jamie understand how Claire feels?
86 – Ok, ya Jamie’s got a point again.
87 – That’ just freaky.
88 – Jamie why are you letting that whore touch you?
89 – FINALLY! Back of bitch. 
90 – I need a massage.
91 – Jamie caught you – don’t run boy. I’d gladly let him catch me. 
92 – This music is catchy.

93 – Um, you don’t run into the horse.

94 – Wait why are we offering the kid a job.
95 – I mean if I was gonna steal Jamie’s snake it wouldn’t be that one.
96 – Hahahaha
97 – The kids a perv.
98 – Jamie and Claire need to work on their communication.
99 – They need to stop arguing.
100 – Seriously – was it ever hot? Don’t these people know how to not wear a jacket?
101 – I can’t get over the bad hair.
102 – My skin is dry.
103 – I am googling trying to find these blackout curtains.
104 – Music is always a secret message moron.
105 – CLAPPING cause Jamie gets it.
106 – Yup I am gonna puke.
107 – That dog is smart. Go Bouton.
108 – Oh I just puked in my mouth.
109 – Someone tell me when this part is over.
110 – Jamie looks really mad.
111- See – Claire’s volunteering does you good Jamie.
112 – I am gonna check my Instagram.
113 – I wonder what Jamie’s Instagram would be like. I mean if they had it.
114 – They deciphered a key.
115 – Jamie and Claire can read each others’ minds.
116 – You shouldn’t keep secrets from your hubby.
117 – Shits about to get real.
118 – Tell him Claire.
119 – Don’t be a chicken shit Claire.
120 – You are a chicken shit Claire.