99 Not So Deep Thoughts From ‘Outlander’ 2×05, “UNTIMELY RESURRECTION”

1 – In the opening credits – I want my hair to sway in the wind like Claire’s does.
2 – Still can’t get over how these opening credits makes me want to get up and dance around like a fairy.
3 – That horse has better hair than the men brushing it.
4 – Is that how you are supposed to put out a candle?
5 – Well shit, that house got screwed up – told you dinner parties suck.
6 – Ah Jamie, there you are.
7 – Ah, Fergus cares about Jamie – that’s so sweet. I love it.
8 – And Jamie cares too – carrying him to bed.
9 – I want a marriage that is as passionate as Jamie and Claires.
10 – Wow, high/low shirts are opposite in that time.
11 – Stench of a French prison? Um… all prisons are stinky, right?
12 – Alex needs help. He didn’t do anything.
13 – No good can come with the Prince leaving with jaw porn bad dude.
14 – So much pressure on Claire to remember everything.
15 – Claire – a sorceress?

16 – Jamie called his wife a witch! Umm, kick his ass Claire.
17 – Well, we’ve narrowed down the assailants.
18 – How quickly you forget the shit Jamie does Claire! Well then again, I would too.
19 – Wine.. I love wine.
20 – Every time they say the word Aristocrat – I wanna watch the Disney movie.
21 – Oh Murtoch, you shouldn’t be so hard on yourself. It wasn’t your fault.
22 – I love Jamie in a kilt. It’s so yummy.
23 – I wanna go to France.
24 – Oh Mary, you pore girl.
25 – Mary – you are brave. Wanting to help Alex.
26 – Mary, why would you feel shame? You’re a good woman! You did nothing wrong.
27 – Oh Mary, so nieve.

28 – I can’t get over Claires dress. Dresses back then – well they make a woman’s ass look wide.
29 – Your uncle is a douche Mary.
30 – Oh Claire, you are torn between two time and two men. I feel bad.
31 – Don’t you dare Claire.
32 – The Prince gives me the creeps.
33 – Oh Prince – whatever news that you have – it is never good.
34 – Jamie is a good actor.
35 – Can you imagine if Harry and Will had to wear those ugly wigs? I’d pass.
36 – Don’t trust the Count. Prince, how stupid are you?
Jamie – don’t let the Prince run the show. Tell him no. I mean I know you can’t – but…
37 – Demonic rituals?
38 – Well you are fucked Jamie if Claire finds out everyone thinks that Claire is a witch.
39 – Why does Jamie keep having to work with idiots?
40 – Good job – getting Alex out Claire. That’s a good thing to do.
41 – Damn that dress makes your hips look huge Claire.
42 – What is wrong with Alex?
43 – I love Claire, but she’s become quite manipulative. It’s scary.
44 – Alex – if you loved her, you wouldn’t be so easily swayed.
45 – Like seriously Alex – you walk away so easily. Douche bag!
46 – I love how Jamie is so blunt.
47 – Tell Douchebag to eat a dick Jamie.
48 – Claire you are so devious.
49 – Surprises! I love surprises!
50 – Spoons? That’s her gift? Umm… I’d prefer a gift card to Target.
51 – Ok – never mind. Heirlooms. I should be nicer.
52 – Don’t cry Claire. It’s the hormones.
53 – Poor Claire – she feels alone. I mean, I get it. Who does she really have.
54 – I wonder if Jamie has wooden teeth.
55 – Those gardens are pretty.
56 – Claire never looks pregnant in her dresses. That corset must be tight.

57 – I wonder how the hell they wear these jackets if it’s hot.
58 – Jamie you are inspecting those horses too closely.
59 – Annalise – that scarf is doing nothing for you.
60 – The Duke is creepy, but he does have a right impression of the Prince.
61 – Ok creepy Duke, we get it – you’re creepy.
62 – Those dresses are like having tables on your hips.
63 – Annalise why are you trying to creep up on Jamie.
65 – I’m gonna puke – go the fuck away Blakcjack Randall.
66 – Ya you did you Jackass.
67 – You go near Jamie – I’ll cut you myself Randall.
68 – Fates aren’t toying with you Randall – they are fucked up.
70 – Why is the King talking about himself in the 3rd person?
71 – Ok – seriously 3rd person Dude. Let it go.
73 – Way to hold yourself together Jamie.
74 – Randall is there for his brother?
75 – I wanna see Randall beg! This King gives me life.
76 – I love that smirk Jamie.
77 – Hahahahahaa.

Outlander Season 2 2016
Outlander Season 2 2016

78 – The King is an ass, but I like him putting Randall in his place.
79 – This can’t be good. Keep your hands to yourself Randall.
80 – A duel. OH SHIT.
81 – Jamie looks too happy. Claire looks a little worried.
82 – Claire – you aren’t listening to Jamie. You’re an idiot.
83 – Wait what? Claire – you are an idiot. Swearing a false charge.
84 – Ok, I see Claire – you are a little moody.
85 – Ok a lot moody.
86 – Well you shouldn’t say the words – you just claimed another man more important.
87 – I mean – Frank needs to be born – other wise Frank would have never gotten to marry you, you would have never gotten to Jamie…
88 – I assure you Claire – he can kill an innocent man.
89 – No, Jamie – I agree. You shouldn’t bear anyones weakness.
90 – Well this took a turn.
91 – A lot can happen in one year Claire. You are asking a lot.
92 – He kinda doesn’t owe you shit.
93 – Claire – you can’t see reason.
94 – Jamie’s right in this scenario. I feel bad for him.
95 – Claire you can’t ever ask for shit again.
96 – Looks like you’ll be sleeping on the couch Claire.
97 – The line has been drawn in the sand.

Outlander airs Saturdays on Starz. 

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