A question has been going viral on TikTok for the last couple of days, exposing a lot of men for their lack of understanding when it comes to how women make their way through this world. The question posed basically goes along the lines of: if you were trapped/stuck in the woods, would you rather be there with a man or a bear? As a woman, there was no hesitation in my choice. If it’s man vs bear, I’m going to pick the bear. And from what I have been seeing for the last couple of days, plenty of other women are also choosing the bear. This has confused, angered, and thrown men into such a loop that they are posting response after response calling this choice dumb, impractical, and uninformed. And that answer/response speaks even more to why women choose the bear in the first place.
From my point of view, I can probably scare the bear off. It really depends on the kind of bear. And if I can’t scare them away, and they attack me, the worst they can do is maul me or kill me. This is where the crux of the problem comes in for men and their understanding of why we would choose the bear. We as women walk through this world knowing that there is a higher chance of us being murdered, raped, or killed by a man. The chances of us being in the woods and being attacked by a bear are slim unless we spend all our time in the woods. But a man could be anywhere, could follow us home, and do worse to us than mauling or killing us. At least with the bear I will either survive or die because it is an animal following its instincts. As for a man, I wouldn’t risk the cruelty that could come from a human mind and that has been well documented against women.
Over on TikTok, and social media in general, men have taken this answer as women exaggerating. They have taken full offense instead of sitting back and wondering why we would, without hesitation, pick the bear. Even when the question is shifted slightly, and men are being asked if their daughter was in the woods and if they would want her to be trapped with a man or a bear, some men are still choosing other men. It ignores the fact that since we were little, we weren’t warned about bears. We were warned about men. We were warned to not wear revealing clothes if we’re going out, to walk to work cars with keys between our knuckles, and to protect our drinks at events. And we wouldn’t be warned about men if there wasn’t a system built by men and for men where women are still fighting for basic rights like equal pay, access to education, or even the right to marry who they want around the world.
Women not choosing men to be trapped in the woods with, challenges men’s perception of the world. And it also exposes the fact that bears are not the number one predator for women. That’s men. That’s who we fear. And of course, there have been people saying that not all men are like this. Not all men are to be feared. That is true. And there are plenty of men on TikTok that have been calling out other men for their ignorance and lack of understanding as to why women choose the bear. But I want the ignorant men out there to think about it how a friend explained it to me. Imagine I give you a box of chocolates. You love chocolates. And I got you that super fancy brand that you love. The catch is, four of the chocolates are poisoned. Are you still going to eat the chocolates even though four out of the 12 are poisoned? Are you going to risk it for that delicious chocolatey goodness? The answer is no. And that’s how women feel when it comes to men.
Being trapped with a man is uncertainty at its finest when we have been taught to fear men, when we all know at least one person that has been brutalized or attacked by a man, and because there are more chances that people will believe us when we say we were attacked by a bear in comparison to if we were attacked by a man. So, sorry not sorry if the men folk are losing it or getting mad at our choice. If anything, it should make them look inward and start them down a path to have the tough conversations about how men themselves can help dismantle a system that has always put them on top with women lagging behind. Stop trying to gaslight us into thinking that we’re making the wrong choice. We have history backing us. Until men understand that, we’re going to continue choosing the bear.
You know, there are LOTS of BEARS in the woods, at ALL times. You rarely see them and feel safe to walk there. Why? Because bears are going out of their way to AVOID you. (If every bear was a bloodthirsty predator just waiting for a human to cross their path no one could ever step outside.) The number of times I’ve been SA’d by MEN is significant. Beginning at age 10 and the 50 years to follow. NOT EVERY MAN, but ENOUGH to lead me to risk the ODDS of happening upon a random bear in his own habitat.
The question was never whether an unarmed woman can beat a bear in combat. It was – which scenario would make you more uncomfortable and fearful? It comes down to PERCENTAGES. That’s the god damned POINT.
And if you’re a dude who finds yourself triggered by this ongoing debate, you really need to self-reflect. My actual life experiences brought me to this place. Try some empathy instead of ego for half a second.
Fun facts – Estimate according to a quick google search for statsand some informational videos:
*****Bear Spray works 95-100% of the time immediately.
Mace/Pepper Spray works on men approx 85% of the time or possibly less or may take longer to work.
*****Pepper spray may not be as effective on intoxicated people or those who have a high threshold to pain. We need better pepper spray – we need a “man spray” that works as well as bear spray.
Bears don’t kidnap
Bears don’t rape
Bears don’t steal money
Bears don’t lie
Bears don’t like people and prefer to avoid us
Bears don’t have ulterior motives
Bears don’t sabotage
Bears don’t psychologically torture
Bears don’t use emotional manipulation or gaslighting
I’ll take my chances with the Bear