Grief. It’s this weird emotion that everyone deals with in different ways. Sometimes it propels you to being greater. Sometimes it breaks you. Sometimes it comes to the surface easily, and sometimes it lives deep down in you waiting to explode.
But when you are a child and you lose a parent – there is a grief that is in you that you can’t explain. At least that was a thing for me. You have to be strong for those around you, but the only thing you feel like doing is curling up in a ball and admitting that you don’t know what you’re doing.
Because grief and figuring out the road that it takes you on is really complicated.
And that’s what we’re looking at with this weeks Council of Dads.
Robin grapples with how a “Council of Dads” could really function in their day-to-day life as Larry takes on his responsibilities with passion. Luly has an unexpected meeting with her birth mom, Michelle, and learns about her early life with Scott, while she and Evan make plans for a move to New York. Charlotte explores her family tree. Sharon Leal guest stars.
When Scott died, he wanted to make sure that his family was taken care of and I can appreciate that. Wanting to make sure that. your kids want for nothing and that the have the world at their feet is a very Dad thing to do. Would Scott have rather it been him teaching all of them the things they need to know? Yes. But, life doesn’t always work out the way we want it to.
Larry is taking this job very seriously. He has schedules, makes sure that he. there for everything that these kids need. He needs Anthony and Oliver to make sure that they are also there.
And he also needs feedback from Robin. But Robin isn’t embracing the council. She doesn’t know how it’s going to work and if she’s being honest, she doesn’t want to let that wall down. It’s not that the council is a bad thing – I think even she knows that it is not. But letting that wall down is hard because the only person she really wants there to make sure that they are all okay is her husband.
And embracing the council means she can’t bring him back.
Robin wants the council to be there for her kids – she wants to know that they can count on these men. But these men keep letting her kids down and that can’t happen.
THE OVERSTEP INTO THEO’S LIFE
Theo isn’t taking his Dads death the best. I mean sure, he seems like a normal, angry teenager, but part of that is he misses his Dad.
And he doesn’t understand why all these men are here telling him what to do, when he doesn’t think he needs them.
Larry may not be the worlds most compassionate guy, but he is compassionate in his own ways. He doesn’t want to make the same mistakes that he did with his own kids. They don’t speak to him (only Theo doesn’t find that out until after Larry has pissed him off).
Larry knows that Theo is uber intelligent and that he needs to just apply himself. He texts Theo with a word of the day, every damn day, and Theo is absolutely over it.
But when Larry takes it too far and calls Theo’s teachers and checks in on Theo, Robin looses her shit. It’s way too far over the line – and it’s the first feedback that she’s given the council.
It’s what they have been asking her for. But for Robin she’s not known how to approach it. She’s not known how to approach it, because she wants the one Dad that she can’t have.
She wants her husband back.
LET’S GO RIDE A BIKE
All JJ wants to do is learn to ride a bike.
You would think that would be an easy thing. But let’s all be honest with each other – it wasn’t easy. There is this sense of fear and all you can think about is how you are going to be hurt.
But JJ wants to learn.
There is a father/son bike ride and Robin sets out to (1) make sure that JJ has someone to ride with and (2) that JJ can ride a bike.
But everyone keeps letting these kids down.
When she asks Oliver, he can’t even answer before she thinks he doesn’t want to do it. But it’s not that.
Oliver has a lot on his mind. He’s having a meeting where all the doctors can ask him questions about Scott’s treatments. Oliver is beating himself up. He couldn’t save his friend – his friend who happens to be his best friends husband.
And he will forever feel guilty for that.
Because the truth is he wanted to save Scott. He wants to save all of his patients. But when it’s personal, it’s harder. It’s more difficult. It’s scary.
But what’s also scary is that there is the possibility of mistakes. And I think in life we’re all afraid of the mistakes that we could have made, that we did make, and worst of all the way that we let people down.
And everyone cleared Oliver. Everyone cleared Oliver, but Oliver has to clear his own soul. He has to forgive himself.
And later when Oliver talks to Robin and she finds out that he had his meeting, she was upset she wasn’t there. She would have been there for her friend. She wants him to forgive himself, because she knows that he did all that he could.
And for her that’s ok.
Also – he admitted that the reason that he couldn’t ride with JJ was for one reason only – he doesn’t know how to ride a bike.
CHARLOTTE WANTS TO FIND HERSELF
I have ditched school before, but never run away to a different city.
Charlotte was adopted and she’s always wanted to be connected to someone that is more like her. She knows that her family loves her and that she has a home. But there is nothing wrong with wanted to know more about her heritage.
She took a DNA test and it found like a distant cousin in Atlanta. So she skips school and heads to Atlanta with her BFF (also Oliver’s kid). When she gets there, her cousin’s adoptive Mom was hoping to meet her Mom, but Charlotte says that she dropped her off and went to run errands.
The whole encounter is awkward and I can’t feel worse for Charlotte then I do at that moment. She wants a connection, but she can’t find it. And my heart breaks for her.
Her cousin’s Mom takes her to Anthony’s restaurant – where he is shocked that she is there. He covers for her though and Charlotte tells him that she can take a bus home.
But Anthony, who has shrugged off everything and his responsibility on the council says that he will take her home. Yes, a big food critic is supposed to be at the restaurant, but for once he’s taking his responsibilities on the council seriously.
He knows that he promised to be there for Scott, but being there for him means that he has to put others before himself. And for him, that is a learning experience.
He brings the girls home where Charlotte admits the reasons that she was trying to find a member of her birth family in the first place. She’s terrified that if her Mom passes away she will have no one. And if no one wants her, where is she going to go.
Loosing a parent is one of the scariest things in the world. It’s one of the most paralyzing things in the world and will leave you feeling like you can’t catch your breath. As a child, it’s a lot to take in. You need assurances, you need to feel safe.
And having that safety taken out from underneath you makes you afraid of everything.
All the time.
HOME IS WHERE YOUR HEART IS
We all have big dreams in life. Sometimes those dreams come true. Sometimes they are all we work for.
And sometimes those dreams change.
Luly has wanted nothing more than to move to New York her entire life. She’s wanted to be a writer. She’s wanted to write the great stories in life. She’s wanted her words to make an impact on someone.
I think it’s something that we all want in life – to be seen for our passions, the things that the love.
And she’s excited that her husband is willing to move with her. But like any dream, there is a catalyst that can change everything.
And for Luly, that catalyst is her birth mom sending her a gift. That catalyst is facing the woman that left her all those years ago. It’s finding out all of the stories about her Dad that she didn’t know.
It’s learning to let those parts go and move forward in a positive way.
Luly is going to have to go through a lot of changes – marriage, allowing her birth mom back into her life, and figuring out all of the ways to make her dreams come true from where she is.
And I think she can do it – because she has this amazing family behind her.
And she has the council.
So what was supposed to be Luly’s going away party, ended up being her stay at home party.
And she invited her birth Mom.
What matters about this is that Anthony and Michele (birth Mom) were talking and we find out that they cheated years ago and Luly is his.
And they will never let Luly find out.
WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK! ANTHONY I NO LONGER LIKE YOU!
But we all know that this is TV and secrets will come out.
- Larry refusing to quit on everyone – he’s a stand up guy. He won’t give up on these kids and I admire that about him. And these kids need to feel saf.e
- I don’t trust Michele. She can go.
- Anthony always bailing on everyone is crap. I don’t like him and someone needs to kick his ass.
- Oliver and his husband are the cutest things ever.