‘Britannia’ Episode 2 Review: No to Severed Heads

Britannia episode 2 is, unsurprisingly, less bloody, less confusing and infinitely more interesting than the Pilot. I’m still not exactly sure where this is all going, but at least people are taking sides – and when I say sides, I do mean sides. The episode is also shorter, and despite what Game of Thrones might have told you, 70 minutes of bloody fighting isn’t what the people want.

Forty minutes is more than enough.

The women, however, remain the most interesting part of this, by far, even when they’re making decisions that go against common sense. What did Kerra think she was going to accomplish by riding into the Romans’ camp? Does Antedia really think the Romans won’t turn on her the moment they defeat her enemies?

Not to mention: Why is Cait even important? I assume she is, because we have been following her and dumbass Divis for two episodes – well, Divis sort of ditches her, but we’ve all seen that story before, I doubt it’ll stick. And whatever her importance is, does it change now that we know her dad is, presumably, alive?

The only man who gets even close to the same screen time – which doesn’t much help to make him interesting – is Aulus, he of the new druid friend who he is totally fine trading messages inside severed heads with. Now, he is supposed to be a great general, is he not? Then why would he go into the druid camp all by himself? There better be a hell of a reason they haven’t told me, because from what I got in this episode, the only answer I have to that is: because he’s not as smart as he thinks he is.

Britannia Season 1

But the episode is better, tighter, and there’s less of a sense that it’s going for the shock, and more an attempt to tell the story they want to tell, which is always appreciated. I still don’t feel very comfortable with the idea of forming any kind of emotional attachment whatsoever, but I find myself looking forward to episode 3 a little more than I did to episode two.

Plus, we’re in the middle of quarantine. What else am I going to do other than watch TV?

Should you join me? Well, I can’t say I heartily recommend it just yet, but there are worse things to watch. Many, many worse. And if this gets interesting enough that you absolutely have to try it, I’ll be here to let you know.

Things I think I think:

  • Sending messages inside severed heads is so inconvenient. Please be finding better methods.
  • Cleaner and safer ones.
  • At least people look cleaner this episode, or is that just me?
  • The nail piercings are way too distracting, Veran. They’re all I can look at every time you are on screen.
  • It’s a fun morning when you have to wake up your ex-wife and her new husband!
  • “Fuck off back to Rome” has style, I won’t deny it.
  • Even if it’s dumb.
  • Are they all so stupid as to treat Kerra this way because she has …what …Roman blood?
  • WAIT, WHY DID I EVEN ASK THE OBVIOUS QUESTION?
  • I hate all men on this show, I swear.
  • I’m already bored with Divis. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO ROOT FOR YOU?
  • The soldiers being all like “we’re gonna die so a general can wash his balls” is A MOOD.
  • It says a lot that it’s understood being mad isn’t a problem to the druids.
  • “You’re here for MY revenge” is a hell of a line, Antedia.

Britannia airs Sundays at 9/8c on Epix.

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