‘Supernatural’ 15×18 Review: “Despair,” Destiel, and Saying Goodbye

This isn’t going to be a traditional Supernatural review. This is going to be something different. Something a little madder than usual. Because oh boy are we mad, disappointed, and feeling like the rug has been pulled out from underneath us just as Castiel was confessing his feelings. But one of the most disturbing things that I’ve come across is the blatant disregard for the feelings of Destiel fans.

Rose colored glasses are a thing and I truly believe that those who don’t see Destiel are wearing them. And it’s restricting AF to live in a world where bonding and an emotional connection like the one between Cas and Dean is seen as strictly platonic. Sure, men say, “I love you.” to each other. It happens. But what Castiel confessed, what he laid out for Dean to see, is a confession of something deeper than friendship.

And the leaps and bounds that people are going through to explain away this Destiel moment could make your head spin. It’s even more frustrating when fans who have been hurt, disappointed, or thrown off by the death of Castiel, are set aside as just being shippers. First of all, shipper isn’t a dirty word. Second of all, the SPN Family and all it’s feelings are absolutely valid no matter how much you try to crush them.

Trying to crush the spirit of Destiel shippers just shows how desperate and disillusioned some people are. It also shows how unwilling they are to see anything else besides the narrow little bubble they’re used to living in. Because God help us if someone gets a little perspective and sees the truth about Destiel, that there is more than friendship brewing between them.

And this is something coming from a Supernatural fan who has been interviewing the cast for years, who has a Supernatural tattoo on her chest, and who didn’t start shipping Destiel until this final season. I’m queer AF but I think the rose colored glasses that my friends were wearing were borrowed by me without really knowing it was happening. I’m grateful that I can finally see what Destiel is all about. And that’s where getting pissed starts.

In all honesty, it reminds me of what happened to Lexa all those years ago on The 100. Those fans were told to simply get over the death of a queer character LGBTQ+ people fell in love with. And I see the same thing happening with Castiel and Dean and I hate it. But, “Maybe it was just two bros saying how much they love each other.” you holler! It’s totally possible for that to be true. But after so many years of build up, that was not made up by fans, it was a confession of love.

You also have to remember that Cas is an angel. And if we’ve learned anything from Lucifer Morningstar, angels really don’t care if you identify as she/he/they. Castiel and Lucifer like people for who they are. And when I play back Castiel’s confession I can’t help but cry because I don’t think Dean understood the depth of his best friends feelings because angel sexual preferences isn’t something easily brought up in conversation.

So, where do we go from here? Well, I think we should simmer in our anger for a bit. It’s real, raw, and shines a spotlight on a ship that looked like it was getting a bone thrown at it for it to just be taken away. Plus if our anger helps future shows avoid what Supernatural did, then so be it. Don’t let anyone tell you that you’ve wasted your years, or that it wasn’t really happening.

It did happen. And we relate to it because we’ve had experiences like this, minus the Empty and their crazy end of the world stuff. We’ve confessed our love to someone we don’t know if they’d reciprocate or understand. We’ve told the ones around us how proud and amazing they are or how they make our lives better just by being in it. We’ve been Castiel and have had our own Dean.

Watching Castiel “die” (because this is Supernatural and everyone and their mother comes back) felt unnecessary, rushed, and not the pay off that many expected from the show. Castiel deserved to live and be with his family for the rest of his life. Castiel deserved to find his home with the Winchesters and to watch Jack grow up.

Castiel deserved so much more and I don’t think we’ll ever be the same.

Supernatural airs Thursdays at 8/7c on The CW.