‘Law & Order: SVU’ 25×12 Review: “Marauder”

Law & Order: SVU 25×12 “Marauder” is the penultimate episode of a Season 25 that has not, at all, been worthy of such an impressive accomplishment. So, it’s probably fitting that, as a 550th episode…the hour isn’t exactly worthy of its place in the series’ history either. Admittedly, “The Five Hundredth Episode,” wasn’t at all what we wanted to see for that special moment either. But, at least, the story was executed well enough in spite of us not particularly caring for what that story was. And, importantly, that previous milestone gave Mariska Hargitay the opportunity to deliver an absolutely stellar, raw, emotional performance.

Here…we just can’t even say that much.

Where do we even begin with this one? Perhaps we should talk about a Captain Olivia Benson who, when asked by a victim’s family — in this case, Sykes — to leave well enough alone…decides she knows best. Then, she proceeds to lie to her detectives, ask Fin to help her lie, and just generally ruin people’s lives by digging up their past traumas. Unasked for. In fact, she just guilts Cal Markham into working around his aunt and uncle — to the point where he takes it upon himself to give the NYPD a false confession so they have an excuse to exhume his cousin’s body. (So that’s, uh, literally on digging up those traumas.)

All of this she does for her own, personal crusade. That’s it. It’s not about the victims because if it was, she would’ve let them, and their families, rest. Notably, Liv’s dogged determination to solve this case — much like the Maddie fiasco that has plagued Season 25 — isn’t earned. In a world where this series takes the time to cultivate close female friendships, and really develop its female characters instead of scrapping them just as we start to get attached, we could believe Olivia took this case personally because of her connection Shannah Sykes. However, she’s barely known the woman for five minutes. As such, no such relationship exists. Or, if it does, it’s certainly a billion percent off camera…with zero reason for the audience to buy it.

To say we’re frustrated that this is what we get, for the 550th episode of a series that has had so many incredible stories over the years (and yes, of course, some terrible ones too), would be a gross understatement. Maybe one day we’ll be able to be excited about something that has been such a huge part of so many lives — including our own — for so long. But for now, we’re just kind of trying to survive one more episode and hope things turn around in the future.

More on Law & Order: SVU 25×12

• We really like to be like “LOL Strong Female Characters™ be drinking alone and avoiding them problems,” huh.
• “I got your messages.” “Yeah, and you didn’t call me back.” Imagine if…
• Is this what they think a close bond between two women looks like?
• “If you don’t want to talk to me, then…how about a good therapist?” Liv’s really going to recommend Dr. No Boundaries to everyone this season, eh?
• Maybe fix your own sh*t before you start telling other people they think they’re “too tough for therapy and closure,” Liv. Also, what part of what Sykes told her was about being “too tough”?
• Still can’t believe this series has legitimately given me a therapist that fails harder than Paula Agard of Suits infamy.
• Maybe don’t stalk someone who works for the Feds when she’s drunk and ordering a Lyft (or whatever), Cap.
• “Sykes has some stuff that she needs to work out.” Pot, meet kettle.
• Sure, lie to the squad. Why not? Great leadership.
• While we’re at it, why are we throwing Carisi under the bus like this?
• “We don’t want to cause you any more pain than you’ve already gone through. Believe me.” Ok but actions speak louder — and they’re screaming “we don’t care if we cause you more pain.”
• Sure, let’s give this father some false hope while we’re at it.
• Also: He…kept his missing daughter’s greeting cards…there? Sure.
• “The thing that case taught me. Memory is a monster. I forget. It doesn’t.” Like this, not a fan of this man’s wall decorations.
• Just saying Interview with the Vampire Season 2’s promo did “memory is the monster” much better.
• “The parents don’t want their daughter’s gravesite disturbed.” This should end it. Of course, it does not.
• Could someone please “talk sense” into you instead?
• “It turns out you’re just like all the other cops.” That part.
• Poor Fin tries so hard to get through…but no.
• Benson’s manipulating this girl’s cousin to get her way…WTF.
• On what planet does the cousin of a missing girl make up a lie about killing her (and trying to talk her into some incest…WTF????) because of “a bad time that summer.”
• Just totally fine, sending an innocent guy to Rikers because we hinted we might need him to do something to get us more evidence.
• “Why is Benson so obsessed with this case?” Velasco is us, all season.
• “This is not about the vics, this is not about me, this…is about you.”
• “What can I do?” “I want you to leave it alone!”
• “…I hope they help distract you from your endless amount of baggage.” Literally all this is…but please do tell me again how she should recommend that therapist to people!
• We must stan Sykes forever for calling Liv out, actually.
• However. Hate that we’ve had mentions of Johnny D. and William Lewis together twice this season, as if they’re at all equivalent. And both times, essentially, went nowhere.
• Why are they being so tough on the wife, though?
• Oh, hey! A positive! The camera work in the interrogation scene, especially when Liv has her glasses perched on the end of her nose and looks over them.
• Did we need all those creeper lines from the perp at the burial site? No, we did not.
• Spot the surgical mask under the nose, thus making it useless.
• Liv is, again, going to ask what she can do…when the answer, all along, was to just not.
• Notably, we end the 550th episode…with Sykes’ grief. Not anything for the central character to realize — much less care about — the harm she’s caused. Ok! Or anything, at all, about the main character reflecting on…anything, at all.
• Justice isn’t just if it’s some self-serving, “distract me so I don’t have to face my demons” mess.
• One more to go.
• Here’s hoping 13 magically makes everything worth it, however miraculous a feat that would have to be.
• …but can we borrow some of that liquor Sykes had at the beginning? She had the right idea, we think.

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Law & Order: SVU airs Thursdays at 9/8c on NBC.