When it comes to Supergirl, the episodes that I love and that have left a lasting impression on me have been the ones where the characters’ emotions are in the forefront. And that was certainly the case in “In Search of Lost Time,” which found several characters confronting the harsh truth and accepting their new reality.
This episode was important because it confronted truths that needed to be confronted in order for these characters — Kara, Sam, and Myr’nn — and these stories to move forward. There’s only so long you can remain at a standstill. No matter how alluring the comfort of oblivion may seem, no matter how hard the truth may be, the only choice is to accept reality and move forward.
Kara had to deal with unresolved issues stemming from her romanticizing her relationship with Mon-El, which served a great purpose in cleaning the slate and opening the door for an eventual romantic reunion. While Kara served up some harsh truths — some rightfully earned — it was a conversation that needed to happen.
Elsewhere, Sam finally learned and accepted what is happening to her as she’s becoming this horrific Reign. It was a truth she wanted to push away — how could she possibly kill people? That wasn’t who she was? But, seeing is believing, and we saw how Sam handled it in the way we expected her to.
Also, J’Onn’s father, Myr’nn, struggled with this desire to maintain control over a life that he felt was slipping away from it. He was desperate to maintain some semblance of who we was and had always been that he almost lost everything that was dear to him.
Let’s take a deeper look at the truths that these characters had to confront: Kara’s unresolved issues about her relationship with Mon-El, Sam’s denial about her dark secret, and Myr’nn’s desire to maintain control as his world was crumbling.
Kara’s Truth

When we look back at this season of Supergirl, I believe we’ll look back on “In Search of Lost Time” as the episode that was the beginning of a rebuild and reunion for Kara and Mon-El. It was a harsh truth that Kara learned, for sure. But it’s a truth that she had to accept and move forward from if things are ever going to work between her and Mon-El in the future (as I expect they will.)
There’s no denying that Kara has been known to suppress her emotions. We’ve seen it as early as the season 3 premiere as she tried to push down the humanity that lives within her because she was afraid of pain, afraid of the truth. It’s perfectly normal to be terrified of those things. But when you bottle up those emotions, eventually you’ll burst like a shaken soda bottle.
We saw that with Kara earlier this season, when she finally gave into the guilt that she’d been pushing down over Mon-El’s disappearance. And we saw that again in “In Search of Lost Time,” where Kara finally acknowledged her feelings about how she romanticized her relationship with Mon-El.
The truth was harsh. Words like “selfish” and “jackass” were thrown around, all words which Mon-El has deserved at some point in this show. Only things were more amplified by this immense rage that infected Kara and others at the DEO. But the inevitable message was clear: Kara and Mon-El’s relationship wasn’t perfect.
And I couldn’t agree more. There were times when Mon-El acted childish and selfish, times where I wanted to slap him. But then there were also times when Mon-El acted mature and selfless, times where I wanted to hug him. That’s why Mon-El was such an intriguing character last season because he was someone that was flawed, but he was also someone that wasn’t defined by those flaws. And, honestly, it felt like a very realistic interpretation of the world we live in. Where nobody is perfect and everybody is flawed. Where people can either hold people to merely their flaws or choose to accept those flaws and look at the whole person.
This episode was about Kara letting those feelings she tried to shove down out. Not only to herself, but to Mon-El. When it comes to relationships — any relationship — the key is communication. Kara had been avoiding this conversation for far too long, and inevitably she had to have it in the worst way. But, hey, how long would she have held back if not for the events of this episode?
It’s okay not to be okay. It’s okay to be angry at someone you love. It’s okay to be honest even when the harsh truth hurts.
I know Karamel shippers are nervous. And that’s perfectly acceptable, because if you weren’t than this show wouldn’t be doing its job right. It’s these writers’ jobs to make this ship seem on the verge of sinking. It’s what drives conversation, it’s what drives live viewership, and it’s what reminds fans about what this show deems important. Supergirl would not be putting this much into a storyline if the couple weren’t going to work out. You simply don’t waste airtime or content on the things you don’t deem important.
But fellow Karamel shippers, let me try and ease your worrisome minds. This conversation, those harsh words, needed to happen and needed to be said. When all is said and done, this is going to be one of the best things that could happen for Karamel. It’s a clean slate. Ready for a new story to be written.
Looking back just one hour into this season, Kara was stuck in her denial and a subsequent standstill. If she continued to suppress her feelings and refuse to move forward, she wouldn’t be able to eventually move forward with Mon-El. Sooner or later, this was bound to happen. And, as we saw, it was later.
The truth is, there are couples that have gotten together that drifted apart because of immaturity or inexperience or the fact that it was just bad timing. There are couples that tried again after they dealt with their issues taking the knowledge they learned and managed to strengthen that relationship. There are couples that have failed and then succeeded. And that’s perfectly okay.
Hellooooo, welcome to a relationship. A real relationship. Where struggles are opportunities for growth. Where obstacles don’t spell the end, but the beginning.
Kara and Mon-El are one of those couples. Well, they will be.
Kara has come forward with her truth. Now, it’s Mon-El’s truth. Time to tell your soulmate you’re still in love with her.
P.S. – I’m not going to lie, I’m not a fan of how Supergirl has painted Mon-El as one-dimensional this season. Where there’s a substantial focus on his imperfections, and only his imperfections, and forgetting that he’s so much more than that side of him. Mon-El wasn’t perfect when he was with Kara. I’ve said that plenty of times. But it’s felt at times that this show has given in to the negativity and taken every opportunity to throw him under the bus. I’m more than willing to accept that he’s had his missteps and flaws, but holding him to that and only that agitated me. If you’re going to do that for Mon-El, do it for every character.
Also, in case you had any doubt — or ill will — that Kara and Mon-El are endgame, look no further than that shot of them flying through the sky, side-by-side, as heroes. That’s a blinding neon sign that reads ENDGAME.
Sam’s Truth
We’ve been at this whole Sam is Reign thing for awhile now. So what actually changed? Did anything really change at all? Was this finally the episode where we got some semblance of understanding and a possible hint at how Reign could be defeated?
Given the hiatus and the fact that we didn’t see Sam and Lena really last week, this was the first time in a long time where we picked up with Lena, who was trying to help Sam with her blackouts and finally came to the realization that Sam is Reign.
“You asked me to help you,” Lena tells her. And sometimes it takes some tough love to get that person the help that they need.
For most of this episode, Sam lived in this oblivion in her mind where she refused to even acknowledge the fact that she could be something or someone other than herself. Which is a completely normal reaction by any other means. But when you’re experiencing blackouts and things you don’t understand, you believe the impossible.
But it wasn’t so much as believing that something like this was possible or that it was happening to her. It was about the things that this Reign had done that Sam couldn’t even fathom even imagining doing. Killing people. Hurting those she loves. Sam believed that if she hurt others that it’s something she would remember. Not even blackouts could black out her memory, right?
Lena had to get dirty in order to help Sam come to an understanding that she was not going to come to herself. Let us not forget that sometimes these characters we love have to behave in ways we don’t necessarily support in order to help someone they care about. When Sam refused to believe she was Reign, Lena resorted to a barrage of verbal attacks that were painful and provoking. Perhaps the most painful: “Like I’d let someone like you near Ruby.”
That was it. That’s what set Sam off to the point where Reign appeared and destroyed nearly everything within reach. Luckily for Lena — smart cookie that she is — she was recording everything and showed it to Sam. It was the only way for her to believe. She had to see it with her own eyes.
Sam’s reaction was raw. “Those people…” she cries. She’s horrified that she could be responsible for that, even if it’s something inside her doing it. But this was what Sam needed. She needed to see it for herself. Now she understands the gravity of it all. She understands what she needs to do. She knows that she can’t see Ruby. Not until she’s better. She has to take care of this not just for herself, but for Ruby.
I admire Lena for doing everything it took in order to get Sam to a place of understanding. Even when Sam begged to see her daughter, Lena held strong. She couldn’t risk Sam’s life or Ruby’s life or innocent people’s lives.
I have to say, I really love that we’re getting to see this unique take on a Big Bad. Where the Big Bad is aware of her Big Badness and is actively trying to stop herself, in a way. Now that Sam is aware, I’m wondering how this will all end. Can Reign truly be stopped? And the more I think about it, the more I believe that Sam will make the ultimate sacrifice to protect Ruby and the people in this world.
Myr’nn’s Truth

Perhaps the most surprisingly and pleasantly painful storylines in recent episodes has been J’Onn’s father dealing with an alien form of dementia. It’s not often that we get to deal with issues like this on a superhero show — you know, the kind of character-driven issues that these shows have been known to steer clear of. But I’ve really enjoyed how Supergirl has managed to deal with a very real issue and blend it into the storyline in an impactful way.
After last week’s reveal, where Myr’nn told his son about him losing his memories, we picked up in a place where J’Onn remains concerned and Myr’nn appears surprisingly calm. But that soon escalates to anger when he realizes that he’s beginning to lose his once sharp mind. In trying to preserve his memories using an ancient method, Myr’nn begins to affect others at the DEO with his anger at not being able to stop what’s happening to him. It’s to the point where it’s beginning to get seriously threatening to those around him and himself. So J’Onn thinks up a solution. A solution that would make Myr’nn dependent on J’Onn and strip him of the one thing he hasn’t lost yet: his free will.
“I don’t want to take away more from him than what’s already been lost,” J’Onn says.
But Alex and Kara are there to provide words of wisdom to help out their surrogate father. I loved how Alex and Kara both were able to comfort and encourage J’Onn in this moment, which once again reminds us about the important of family on this show. These characters love each other so much and they open themselves up to their loved ones when dealing with such.
Myr’nn is so convinced that he has everything under control. He’s obsessed with maintaining control even as he feels that control slipping away. This is something he wants to deal with alone, but he’s so blind as to how this is affecting those around him. All Myr’nn can see is his own pain. He’s blind to his actions affecting those around him. He’s letting his anger overpower him and he doesn’t even realize that he’s already lost control.
But just as his father has taken care of him in his life, J’Onn is there to repay the favor. J’Onn wants to protect his father. He loves him. Even though he knows the pain this will cause, he also understands it’s what’s best for his father. He could either have his father be angry at him or lose his father forever. It was an easy choice. Though eventually, Myr’nn realizes that he’s been so caught up in his fear that he’s been hurting those around him.
“I was so fearful of losing control of the rest of my life that I refused to accept what was happening,” Myr’nn says. “And it nearly cost me everything I held dear.”
Myr’nn was so focused on maintaining that sense of control and the fear that came with it that he failed to accept what was actually happening. He pushed away reality because it was too painful. And that nearly cost him his son, his life.
Other Thoughts
- What’s a girl have to do to get an invitation to Game Night?
- J’onn’s imaginary friend sounds like the greatest thing ever. ZOOK!
- “What? I like this shirt.” Kara as she carefully undid her shirt instead of ripping it off per usual to unveil her Supergirl costume.
- “I think it’s time we made you a Legionnaire.” SUPERVALOR FOR THE WIN.
- Where has my Mon-El/Winn bromance been?! I’ve missed it so!
- I don’t know who’s worse at telling a joke: J’onn’s father or Oliver Queen?
- Kara looking at Mon-El in his suit: “WOW.” Us too, Kara. Us too.
- Wow, there are some serious anger management issues going on at the DEO.
- Where can I volunteer to get Alex Danvers to knock me the eff out? Because it would be a damn honor.
- Kara needed to get her feelings out and in the open. And this goes to show you what happens when you keep them in for too long. Shaken soda bottle, folks.
- I love that haters think that this is the end of Karamel. (insert laughing emoji here)
- Can we not pretend that Mon-El is the only character that’s ever lied or fucked up before? Because every character on this damn show has done it several times over.
- Mon-El isn’t going anywhere. Deal with it.
- Okay, don’t look now, but Lena and James are starting to be cute. Damn it.
- “If you think the secret needs to be kept then it needs to be kept.” JAMES DAMN IT.
- Kara and Mon-El flying together. That’s how you ENDGAME.
Supergirl airs Mondays at 8/7c on The CW.