‘Christmas Duet’ Wins As The Worst Holiday Movie Thus Far

I really want to love Hallmark. I mean if we’re being honest, I do most of the time, but lately, I feel as though it’s one let down after another this Christmas Season.

Look, Hallmark knows that people wait all year long for their holiday movies, but so far this year, I feel like the only thing that’s really good are the reruns on the channel.

And Christmas Duet did not help.

Don’t despair other Hallmark movies, this one has made all other ones look like Golden Globe movies and that’s saying something

Well-loved music duo Averie and Jesse, famous for their duet “Wouldn’t Be Christmas,” haven’t played together since they went their separate ways years ago. Averie gave up music and opened a beautiful lodge in a snowy Vermont town – while Jesse still tours, struggling to find the same kind of success they had as a duo. When fate brings them together over the holidays at Averie’s lodge just in time for the annual Yuletide Festival, can the magic of Christmas help reunite them once again? Starring Chaley RoseRome Flynn and Teryl Rothery.

I can’t even talk about why it was good because it just wasn’t. So in a move that I wouldn’t normally make I am going to just tell you what is so wrong with this movie.

BAD SETTING

I legitimately don’t know why and how the set decorator made everything look so fake. Isn’t the point of a movie to make everything look real and not as if it’s a grade school production. I am going to assume that some of this was filmed outside, but even that looked fake. The snow legitimately looked like cotton, the trees – though I am assuming are real – looked about as good as the $20 clearance one I got at Target that lights up and blinks as tacky AF at me.

It just felt as though I was it was a student movie and not a good one. Hell most student films look exactly like this.

BAD SCRIPT

I love, love tropes. This one though – I can’t with how horrible they wrote this one. Maybe it was the delivery, maybe it was the fact that every line felt cheesy, forced, and fake as fuck.

The story was cheesy, but that’s okay. That’s the way that most Christmas movies are. BUT this one was exceptionally bad. It was as if they took every bad line that someone had ever written and tossed them together.

I almost feel bad saying it. But I have to be honest.

DRY ACTING

The actors – whom I am sure are talented and were just given the worst of the worst things to work with – delivered dry acting. The actors had no chemistry.

There was supposed to be tension – sure it’s Hallmark so we know that it is not sexual – but there is supposed to be some romantic tension. However, the reality is that whatever tension was there was between the viewer and the television screen and that was a tension that surrounded the question – WHEN WILL THIS BE OVER.

Don’t even get me started on the lady who went into labor or the performance on stage. Cause my Mama would slap me for the shit that I want to say.

HORRIBLE CHRISTMAS SONG

Was I expecting Mariah Carey? No. I wasn’t. But I was expecting an attempt at something great by Hallmark standards.

And this one failed. Honestly, maybe it was the amount of times I heard it or the amount of times that they said they couldn’t sing it because it was a duet, or the live performance but all I have to say is it would have definitely been a better Christmas without it.

OUR ‘SO BAD IT’S GOOD’ RATING 0/10 

REALISM FACTOR: 🎄
DOESN’T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT REALISM FACTOR: 🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄
CHEESE FACTOR: 🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄
ROMANCE FACTOR: 🎄
TROPEY-NESS FACTOR: 🎄🎄🎄

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