‘Never Have I Ever’ 1×05: “… started a Nuclear War”

Here’s the thing about being a kid – we spend so much time in our lives hoping to be noticed, to fit in, the be what people expect of us, that a lot of times we don’t think about the things that make us who we are.

And we don’t find the pride that we need to in the person that we are. Instead we run from it and we wonder – if the world truly knew who we were, would they still love us the same?

Or would they look at us like we were completely idiotic? Coming to terms with who we are as human beings sets us on a road to figuring out who we are meant to be.

But running from it – somethings that’s the worst thing in the world.


We all know. that the end of the last episode, Devi was in the hospital from getting attacked by a coyote. She was also drunk, so it’s not a shock to anyone that her Mom grounded her for life.


She feels like an indentured servant. All she wants is her freedom. Sometimes it is fine to be grounded and sometimes you will do whatever it takes to get out of that.

For Devi – that means volunteering for a spot on Model UN. This violates the pact that her and Ben came up with previously – Model UN was his thing. But hey, when you Mom signs you up for clipping your neighbors toenails, no one can blame her.

Ben is pissed. But he tells her just to support his inniatives and all will be fine. Come on Ben. We know that isn’t going to work. Devi is just like you. She wants to win at everything.

And so she takes him to town. He’s even more mad and as they make it back to the hotel, everyone gets off the bus, except Devi and Ben. Well, and the one nerd hiding behind the seat.

She overhears Ben tell Devi that she thinks that she’s hot shit that she’s Paxton’s secret sex toy. FML this isn’t going to end good.

I feel for Devi. She knows that she’s been betrayed. She knows that. her lie is out of hand. She knows that she should, but Ben feeling smaller than her is something that she lives for.

Only when people overhear lies, it’s like a game of telephone. That shit is going to get everywhere quick. Devi likes being popular, but what she doesn’t realize is that lies have consequences.

And even if she doesn’t realize it – they are going to come at her fast and quick. Karma is a bitch like that.


What I learned a long time ago is that you never know if someones shit is bigger than yours. A lot of time – life is just completely overwhelming for all of us.

But for Fabiola, she’s living with the biggest secret and in a world that she’s afraid to just tell who she is. Because if she tells who she is – people may not accept it.

For her – her secret is that she is gay. She’s only ever told her robot. So she calls a family meeting. The first thing that her Mom thinks of is that she is pregnant. Fabiola is somewhat shocked that is what her family thinks.

But the way that they are looking at her – she can’t bring herself to tell them the truth. Because what if they don’t love her the same? Look at her the same? What if they think worse of her because she’s gay.

She doesn’t want them to look at her weird. She still wants to be their little girl.

So she tells them that she switched from AP French to AP Latin. Her Mom is shocked and disappointed. Her Dad thanks her for feeling comfortable enough to tell them.

And I think for Fabiola, she was more afraid than ever.



Paxton. I get it – getting acknowledged by the hot guy is always a good moral boost. But for Eleanor – it’s about to upset her whole world.

She is at the lockers in the hallway when Paxton tells Eleanor that her Mom was a server at the restaurant they were at the night before. She’s insistent that he is wrong. Why? Because her Mom just sent her a postcard from the cruise that she is working on.

But Paxton tells her that they were at the restaurant and his Mom was talking to her and they knew each other. Eleanor calls him racist for basically saying that all Asian people look alike.

But you could tell that she was hurt. You could tell that she was thinking that there was more to it. Her Mom has let her down before, but the thought that her Mom could be close and not have anything to do with her?

That’s a lot to take in.


All the girls at Model UN think Devi is the shit. But she gets slid a note under the door to come to the ice area.

Ben and the kid who is the representative for Russia are there. The kid wants to get fucked up with the two of them. Devi is saying she’s grounded for drinking. The kid insists she’s popular, that she’s used to getting drunk and that she should be down.

You push Devi down the popular track – she’s taking that shit in. She says that she’s down to get drunk and to not be upstaged by her Ben agrees to take part.

The go to the real estate convention and distract the bartender so the Russian Representative can steal alcohol. He gets caught and like a snitch – he tells the bouncer that Devi and Ben bullied him and they take off.

When the sneak into a room to hide, it turns out that it’s an alcohol closet and they realize that they hit the jackpot.

While everyone at model UN is drinking Ben and Devi have a bonding moment. They do make a good team and seeing them let down their guard a little is endearing. Because you know it’s important to them. These two could be a powerhouse, but sometimes we get in our own way.

The teacher comes in and busts them. But it’s okay, because everyone feels like they have had a great day.



When. you find out that your parents aren’t perfect, that they will let you down, and you will hurt – it isn’t the easiest thing to come to terms with.

And maybe going to Casa Mexico isn’t the best idea, but they are there.

Eleanor goes into restaurant and sees someone and thinks its her Mom. She’s not. Thinks her Mom was telling her the truth, she is mad at herself. She wants to believe in her Mom and I think that’s fine.

Who wants to be disappointed by their parents?

Eleanor then hears her Mom singing. Her Mom has been lying to her. It’s a hurtful moment and it’s a moment that she can’t take back or change. She gets upset and runs out.

I am thankful that Eleanor had Fabiola.

Later that night, the two are eating ice cream. Eleanor doesn’t understand why mom didn’t tell her. She tells Fabiola that she’s lucky her family is perfect. Fabiola says she has a secret.

And at that moment she gathers all the courage that she has and comes out to Eleanor and immediately apologizes. Eleanor tells her not to apologize. She loves it for Fabiola. Fabiola says it felt great to say and you have to be happy for her.

Fabiola tells her she likes Eve. She’s into that Charlie’s Angel Kristin Stewart type.

Meanwhile Devi isn’t answering their calls. She goes to bed and wakes up the next morning with texts from Paxton. He’s found out that Debi has let everyone believe that they slept together.

When Devi sees him next, she tries to make excuses, to explain. Paxton through that they were friends. He feels used.

Devi feels her world crashing.

Eleanor and Fabiola run up to her as Paxton walks off, and Devi is a first class bitch to her friends. They want to tell her their stuff, but she tells them both – whatever is going on her shit is bigger right now.

Devi is a straight up shitty friend.


  • Eleanor at audition. She freezes a little. She’s upset over her Mom. She’s hurt. Her hurt is coming through. Tears start falling down her face. Everyone is moved. Eleanor gets the lead role in the play. You can’t help but be thrilled for her.
  • Devi has done this shit to herself and she straight up pisses me off.
  • Nalini is still my favorite character.
  • Devi going full on nuclear during Model UN cause she doesn’t trust Ben? I don’t believe that he betrayed her. I think he secretly likes her.

Never Have I Ever is streaming now on Netflix.

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