Change. Are any of us really good at it? No. Change is scary. Change makes us feel out of sorts.
Change is change.
There is a lot of change going on in this weeks New Amsterdam. Max is changing his apartment by putting away Georgia’s things and making space for Luna. Reynolds is returning to New Amsterdam. Helen has family issues and this new relationship. Agnes is having to be an interim head of neurology.
A lot of change. And sometimes that is good.
As usual though, when Max arrives at the hospital, he’s positive and gung ho for anything. He’s excited that Reynolds is back. He’s excited to give Agnes a temporary promotion as Dr. Kapur is out recovering from his surgery. But most of all Max is excited that he’s leaving to go to Connecticut to get Luna.
Reynolds arrives back at work and isn’t sure what to do and Max tells him to go and see Helen. Only Max hasn’t conveyed what is supposed to happen to Helen.
Iggy’s thrown out his candy drawer and is ready for his next case. He ends up at someones home, to talk to a kid. Linus is sitting on the stairs, and Iggy starts asking questions. Why did he run away? Did something happen? Did someone hurt him? But Linus quickly tells him that he didn’t run away. His Mom kicked him out. But if that’s the case, Iggy has a question; why did she call the cops and place a missing persons report?
His Mom is at the hospital – she’s brought all of Linus’s stuff. Iggy asks if she can think why Linus would leave. Was there a fight? Did something happen? She says she sent him to camp and he never came home. Iggy says they should have a chat to clear up confusion – the three of them, right then and there. Linus’s Mom asks what is going on when he enters the room. She says that it’s not her son – a mother knows and can tell. And you can tell that she believes what she’s saying.
Iggy doesn’t know what is happening with Linus’s Mom, because he knows that Linus is her son, but she doesn’t recognize him. She keeps saying that her kid didn’t come home and some other kid came home faking to be her son. She says it was scary, a random person trying to convince that she was son. And you can’t help but feel for her, because every single part of them is breaking. There’s something wrong with her brain and by the look on their face you know that there is something wrong that will hurt everyone.
Iggy tells Linus there are lesions in his mom’s brain. Her brain’s facial recognition software is rewired and the emotional ties she feels are gone. Surgery isn’t an option, but the hard truth is that she will never recognize him. No matter what they do, even the medicine she can take won’t help her recognize her face. They will only stop her symptoms from getting worse. This kid is going through everything and there is nothing that can make everything or anything better for him.
He’s going through change and grief that no one can imagine.
Iggy finds a family member to take in Linus and so he goes to tell Linus. But there is a part of him that feels bad for the mom who will never be able to let go and will always believe that her son is out there. convinced that her son is out there. Talking with Agnes, he’s got a plan. He’s going to tell her that her son is dead.
I know that it sounds cruel, but she needs closure. Linus needs closure. So I get where he’s coming from. Iggy’s methods may be somewhat controversial, but he has the best of intentions and the best heart. He really wants to protect his patients.
Iggy goes to check on Linus’s mom after he’s told her that her son has passed. She’s so distraught he’s gone, but she also feels relieved to know he’s gone – because she knows the truth. When she thought he was out there all alone and it was an excruciating pain. Now she can have closure, she can grieve.
Iggy asks her to talk to someone who is going through the same thing. When Linus comes in, she freaks and Iggy begs her to let him talk. Linus is in tears, and starts to tell her that he lost his mom and it was sudden and he didn’t know what to do and he was scared. Her place felt safe and familiar, like home.He says he really misses his mom.
And you see a part of her that understands. So as a Mom, she tries to comfort him. She doesn’t know that the person that died for him is her.
You can see the pain they all feel. There is not a person on this screen that hasn’t experienced a ton of pain and there is not a part of me that doesn’t want to make everything better for them.
LUNA COMES FIRST
Max’s excitement is through the roof, because he’s going to get his little girl. When he gets to Connecticut, her bags are all packed and he’s ready to go. But are her grandparents ready to let go? She doesn’t seem excited to see him. Luna goes about playing and the pain in Max’s face is enough to break anyone’s heart.
Max is thrilled to be in the presence of his little girl. She’s changed. She’s not so little. She’s eating with a fork. She doesn’t like peas anymore and that shocks Max. She apparently loves sausage. I think for him he’s realizing even more how precious time is. Lunas grandparents don’t want to let her go.
In the car as he’s staring at Luna, he’s remembering Georgia. Her smiles, her laughter, her presence. He doesn’t know what to do, what’s right and what matters. But he knows that he loves his daughter. And where should he go to get advice?
The cemetery to talk to Georgia. It makes sense that is where he goes, because no matter what happens – even though she’s gone – Max and Georgia will always have a connection.
I loved Max and Georgia’s relationship – the love that they felt for each other and the way that they were able to get through to each other. He loved her so much and it’s got to be so hard to feel like everything is lost. But here’s the thing about parenting – you may never get it right, it may sometimes be wrong. But at this point my worry is that he’s not gonna bring Luna home and she needs her Dad.
Max is ready to leave – beating traffic and all of that. And I swear tears filled my eyes the moment she said no go, Mama here. Max is crushed, but I think it’s also in part because Georgia was supposed to be there. He wants her there too. But what would she want?
Luna does come home with Max. She keeps saying that she remembers everything when he asks her. He’s so at ease around her. She points at Max and goes “dada here.” His heart is full. My heart was full.
He whispers “Dada always here.”
And with Max, you know he always will be.
HELEN LETS WALLS DOWN
Helen is in her office, about to break. That morning, while she was in bed with Dr. Shin, she received a call from someone. You knew that she was hurting, but she doesn’t know how to let anyone in. Reynolds comes to see her – she didn’t know he was coming back. Max didn’t tell her anything, but told him that she would get him where he needed to be. Only she doesn’t know and she’s distraught.
When he asks if she’s okay, she just says that she’s trying to get a plane ticket to Iran and that it’s her brother.
Helen is arguing on the phone, looking half alive. Dr.Shin comes to check on her, but she doesn’t want to communicate what is going on. Helen is so closed off to everyone who isn’t Max, and then again, completely not open there either. He says he doesn’t know what is going on but let him help. Only if he really knew Helen he would know she doesn’t know how to let her guard down. She tells him she doesn’t need a surgeon, she needs an immigration attorney. Wouldn’t you know that Dr. Wonderful has the fast track on one of those too.
Helen comes later to thank Dr. Shim for the lawyer. But when he asks how it went, she admits that it was too late for lawyer to help. Her brother died.
They weren’t close. She thought she had time for them to be close. She’s run out of time – she can’t go Iran for his funeral and it’s breaking her. She keeps running out of time. She’s tired of making excuses. She’s in tears. He asks her brothers name. It was Farad. She’s hurting.
And for one moment Dr. Shim lets down his walls and you see the side of him that loves and cares and just wants to be there. Being there is his love language.
Letting her walls down is hers.
When they go home and he’s trying to make sure that she feels safe, I kinda grow to like him for a minute. Sure, I am Team Sharpwin til I die, but right now he’s what she needs. And she’s what he needs. For now.
LAUREN AND PROTECTING
Back in the ER, some dude becomes enraged and goes off. He assaults a nurse, headbands another one, and throws Lauren across the room like she’s a feather. Casey comes to tackle him, but even that doesn’t work. Is it safe for them? After the guy is subdued, they start talking about what could have been. She asks how many feel unsafe and she says we keep waiting for someone to protect us. She says she’s gonna make it happen today.
Lauren has gotten them security. But what she’s gotten is the police. She’s happy – she feels safe. But what she’s not seeing is that no one else does. So leave it up to Casey to have to be the one to have a come to jesus moment with her. . He tells her that the cops in the ER – they make everyone uncomfortable. Casey doesn’t feel comfortable around the cops. Bloom asks whats to do. Cops don’t make ppl feel safe. He says itll make undocumented and homeless stay away. It will make ppl not want to be there. They are not making them feel safer. It’s a different kind of unsafe.
She listens, which she rarely does, so I am proud of her. It’s a great thing when as a leader you can learn from others. There is another violent patient in the ER. He’s becoming violent and Lauren is like I am going to be the one to take all of the shit if something goes wrong. Lauren tells him to return to bed. He takes off mask and tells her she can’t make him, but it takes seconds before she goes all angry Mom on him. The patient with kidney stones standing behind her and she thought that she had been the one that intimidated him back to bed.
But it turns out that the patient used to be a bouncer. This gives Lauren an idea that will work – hiring out of work bouncers to help them in the ER. Their security. I kinda for once love her idea.
REYNOLDS IS HOME
When you go home, I think that all of us want things to be comfortable and familiar. Reynolds is back, here’s on the Cardiology floor and no one knew that he was coming back. He’s looking for something to do and he’ll do anything. He just wants to feel useful. But even when he gets to be able to help – it’s not a good thing. Reynolds volunteers to help Dr. Shin with surgery and then he makes the mistake of offering advice. But the reality of the situation is that Dr. Shin doesn’t listen and is like get on board or get out.
He stays, but it was hard for him. Hard for him to be knocked down a bit.
Max starts laughing later that day, when he sees Reynolds in the hallway. Reynolds looks defeated, but somehow at ease. I think that he is so happy that he’s home that for him he just wants to be picked up emotionally.
Max came to apologize and Reynolds isn’t wrong when he says this is the worst apology ever. Reynolds says the one place he ever felt right doesn’t have a place for here. Reynolds doesn’t care about other places. He cares about New Amsterdam. He needs a hand getting back up. Max reaches out his hand, because that’s what you do.
You be there for each other.
And that’s the one thing in life that should never change.