The thing about accomplishing goals and getting through things is that sometimes you’re left with this empty feeling. It’s not because there is anything wrong with accomplishments, but it’s like once you’ve gotten to the finish line what is left?
We’re all – even if we don’t admit it – victims of a routine or champions of one. They make us feel whole. They make us feel driven. They make us feel seen.
And in Single Drunk Female, Sam has accomplished something huge.
Samantha has had the same routine for a year and she’s accomplished the goal of staying sober. She’s not going to have to be monitored. She’s not going to have to answer to people, she won’t have to check in with a probation officer. But does that mean that she’s going to fall back she’s not going to be able to stay sober?
The anxiety of it all is getting to her. She’s a little taken a back. But she’s ready to move forward.
And it’s starting with the one thing that may change everything – Brit and Joels wedding.
I don’t know why Samantha wants to go to this wedding, but hey, do what you need to do. She’s excited to be able to go public with James. But James is late and this is making Samantha worry.
Now I am not advocating making anyone worry, but what I do like to see is that Sam is feeling emotions and she’s okay with feeling them and vocalizing them. Doing that is a big sign of growth and recovery, in my opinion. At least it has been in my life.
But I know – hell we all know – this means that James is out drinking. And him drinking is not something that is going to help Sam. And when he does show up at the wedding, he’s lying and making excuses. Samantha is 100% worried about James and wants to make sure she’s okay.
She really loves James. That is obvious. And for her, that’s a whole new state of vulnerability.
As they get up to the wedding venue, they are told that the wedding is starting late. Samantha goes to find Brit and make sure that she’s okay.
Brit and Samantha were best friends and that means something. It still means something, even though they try to act like it doesn’t. Sam wants to help her, but the thing is Brit doesn’t really want help. What she wants is to not feeling like she’s done a million things wrong. She doesn’t want to feel like Sam sees her. She doesn’t want to feel like she’s a good person, because she’s not. She’s been hiding truths from Samantha.
She hooked up with Joel at Sam’s Dads Shiva. Like seriously, WTF? I don’t blame Samantha for being pissed. Like that’s some bullshit.
So wanting to leave, that doesn’t shock me either. She grabs James and when he kisses her, she realizes he’s been drinking. She asks him and he doesn’t deny it. He throws a million excuses. It was just this one time. He actually tries to turn it on her, that she triggered by bringing him there.
Samantha could be drinking, but she knows how hard she’s worked and she’s not willing to give that up and she’s not willing to listen to James. She knows that they can’t be together because he started drinking again and he needs to get himself together. She wants to help him. She wants to make sure that he’s okay.
Samantha has lost a lot in a day. And for her to loose James, the person that she waited so long to be with feels like a lot to her. It would feel like a lot to anyone. But Sam knows she wants more and she’s not going to let anyone take away her sobriety.
And that I admire about her. Because strength is a hard thing to muster, but it is a beautiful thing to find.
Sam could have had a drink, but she instead goes home to play video games and keep her mind busy.
Have to admit that I was shocked when Brit showed up at the door to see Sam and she’s crying. She’s crying because she got married. She’s crying because she went through with something she shouldn’t have.
And we end with Sam and Brit, both playing video games and just being. Sometimes that’s the best kind of friendship.
- Samantha’s anxiety dream about her Dad about destroyed me. I feel so bad for her, especially when she was like I can’t see your face… I cried.
- Love the moments where Samantha and her Mom get along.
- Bob is so agreeable it’s funny. But also love that he admitted that he was wearing eyeliner. Own your shit Bob, we stan it.
- Joel and pouring down drinks – was he also having cold feet?
- Felicia is the best friend ever.
- Brit setting Felicia up – I love her even more for that.
- I love the guy that Brit chooses for Felicia.
- The wedding dress lady showing up at the wedding – I died laughing. I love her sarcastic attitude.