‘Christmas With A View’ Is Boring As F*ck

I am not a person that is filled with a ton of hope. I would like to be, sure. But I think that hope is a luxury that we can’t afford all the time. But it’s that disbelief in things that makes me look forward to this time of year. The time of year that fills me with hope.

Maybe that’s why I indulge in Christmas movies. The cheesier, the more outrageous – it makes it all the better.

Now, I am sure that you are thinking, why is it that someone would spend 2-4 hours of each day watching terrible movies that are so bad, that well – they are good. Well, it’s because they take me out of my world – the chaos, drama, and the monotony of life. Christmas is, well the holidays are, filled with ways to make you feel down and hope that you don’t get depressed.

Yes, I am the Grinch.

But I take that title with a sense of pride, because I say: embrace who you are.

Today’s Christmas movie review. Well, it’s called Christmas With A View and it’s the first Christmas movie that I have wanted the two hours of my life back that I spent watching it. Do I call Netflix and ask if they have a time machine and I can use it to get my time back? Do I ask if they can make better choices when green lighting films?

There is a formula to holiday movies – someone comes to a town, something has to be done, there is some sort of obstacle, and the people find their way together. It’s the way it goes. But what I love about Christmas movies is that the people in the movies are always dramatic, inviting, and I have a tendency to fall for the characters.

This movie, well, that would not be a movie that I found things to fall in love with.

Now, the main character is supposed to be one of those actors that pull you in and make you want to keep watching. The actress playing Clara made me want to turn off the TV. This was the second Christmas movie that Netflix has made me think that they don’t understand the meaning of Christmas.

I am thinking that someone doesn’t get that while cheesy dialogue, gratuitous ab shots, and a formulaic movie is fine – casting a lead that is as exciting as watching paint dry is not acceptable.

Now, I get it – someone thought that the actress playing Clara was good. And I can appreciate they want to help an actress out. But that help should have come in the form of acting classes.

I won’t say that the story line was boring – it wasn’t. Basics: girls life gets turned upside down when the restaurant that she works at hires a celebrity chef. I mean if we didn’t see them falling in love and some drama, then I didn’t realize that I was watching a Christmas movie. And for that, I should be punished.

But I knew that shit would happen. The love story part felt kind of rushed, the drama felt right, the twists and turns were good.

The problem, I couldn’t care less because all I wanted was for it to end. I wanted to find a way to make it less boring. No one gave an outstanding performance that made me want to find the other movies they’ve done to watch. It made me want to find all the movies that they’ve done so I could make a list of what to avoid.

Christmas With A View made me review one thing – my Netflix subscription.

Avoid watching it. It’s BORING AF.

If it is at the top of the list, move it to the bottom or you know, just off of it.

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