One thing I learned a long time ago was that friendships are really important, and at the same time very complicated. When we’re younger we make mistakes, and those mistakes feel as though they are going to define us forever. But they are also they things that will help us grow.
Devi seems to be the queen of mistakes, and thinking that everything is the end of the world. Maybe it’s because she’s going through grief. Maybe it’s cause she sucks at communicating it to the rest of the world. Maybe because she lives in drama that she’s created for herself.
And maybe it’s because we’re all spending time growing. Every moment of life is growing, and part of growing is making massive amounts of mistakes.
Being a teenager isn’t an easy thing, but part of the beauty of Never Have I Ever is that the reactions that all of these characters have are relatable reactions. Devi walking around like she’s a celebrity trying to sneak in and out of school made me laugh. The power of a hoodie and glasses doesn’t make you invisible. It makes people think you are a little fucking crazy though.
But it doesn’t take long for Devi to realize that Paxton had not told the world about her big lie. He hadn’t taken her down and ruined her entire highschool life – when he could have. He would have had the right to.
Have I been wrong about Paxton? Is he a better person than I gave him credit for?
Devi though, I think she needs a reality slap, because she’s still too caught up in everything being about her. She needs to remember that there are people around her and all of them are living lives and going through their own shit.
Her shit is not always the biggest shit.
When she heads to apologize to Eleanor and Fabiola, she’s jealous. Jealous that they have moved on and that Jonah is now hanging out with them. She’s jealous that they seem to be okay. Devi is like all of us though – we think our shit is the biggest thing, because for us it is. But we all have to have these moments where we need to learn to be better friends.
When Fabiola tells Devi that she is gay, I will say that Devi showed that she cared. She was happy for her. She was supportive of her truth, as any friend should be. She made sure that Fabiola knew that she was there for her. I really am thankful for the fact that Fabiola has friends that are supportive and there for her. Because that’s the way that they should be.
So Devi does the thing that we all do when we fuck up as teenagers. We go above and beyond to try and make it up to our friends. Sleepover. Make it perfect. Make it about them. Don’t talk about yourself. Listen to what they want to tell you.
And find out all of the things.
And then when she finds out that Eleanor’s Mom is in town, and all the drama there – she sees the opportunity to be a good friend. She realizes that she needs to be there for Eleanor. She heads to the restaurant to talk to her.
And tell her that she should talk to her daughter in person.
Though she didn’t expect her to show up at school to talk to Eleanor. Parents at school is a never a great idea, but Eleanor being blindsided is a shit fest. It was like shit, is this going to go wrong? When she runs off and her Mom chases after her – you want to believe that her Mom is genuine, but you can see that she’s not.
Shit happens and they all end up at Devi’s, baking for a bake sale. Look, I love Eleanor and Fabiola, but neither of them know how to shut up about sex. Especially Devi’s sex life. We get it, everyone has a crush on Paxton – but can we all stop talking about him? Like, if Devi wants to tell someone, ok. But no one else needs to open their mouth.
But here we are with Eleanor telling her Mom that Devi and Paxton were lovers. And then we have her Mom outing Fabiola – asking her about her girlfriend before she even says anything. Fabiola thinks that Eleanor outed her, but her Mom says that she just has a good gaydar.
And I can see the next thing happening already. There is going to be nothing but drama, because drama follows chaos.
And chaos is not a fun thing.
It’s Joyce (Eleanor’s Mom) that creates the chaos. She shows up at the bake sale and outs Fabiola and Devi both for their secrets. But while you look at her and want to be angry at her for the stupid shit that she’s done – for me – my attention was quickly focused on Fabiola and Devi.
Devi having to come clean about what really happened with her and Paxton. Though her friends tried to immediately cover for her – Devi finally told them that she was lying. That her and Paxton had never had sex.
And then later, when Fabiola came to her Mom and told her that she was gay, and rather than be filled with massive amounts of judgement and shit that Fabiola was afraid of – her Mom was there to assure her that she was loved and that she was here for her.
Fabiola’s arc in this episode was captivating and beautiful. Little by little we are seeing her come more and more out of her shell and embrace the beauty of who she is. I think that in life we all spend way too much time trying to please the world, rather than embracing who we are.
So, for Fabiola to know that who she is – is perfect – is a great thing to see. It’s as if you see the confidence in her grow immediately.
But the other main focus of the episode – Eleanor and Joyce – well, that one is a lot to swallow. After seeing Eleanor perform on stage and knowing that she got the lead in the school play, Joyce was jealous. She again, put herself before her child, and left her a note, while making a dramatic exit. She was heading off to New York to try her hand at Broadway one last time. She didn’t want to live her life with regrets and the only thing that I could think of is what part of her didn’t see that leaving your child would only lead to a life filled with nothing but regrets.
I don’t get it.
But I also do know that it is television, and that we have to have drama and conflict. Choices need to be made.
But when Devi professes that she’s going to be a good friend and that she’s going to put her friends first, but then immediately goes back on that by choosing to go to Paxton’s when he texts her, versus being there for Eleanor – my heart filled with anger. She’s obviously never been taught the girl code.
Or, you know the basic fundamentals of friendship – the kind where you are there for your friends. As she makes the choice to between comforting Eleanor or going to Paxton – I wanted to shake her. FRIEND – CHOSE THE FRIEND. But as she walks out the school doors to go to Paxton – anger filled me.
Wrong choice Devi. Friendships, family, relationships – they are all messy and complicated. But Devi has a way of making it worse for herself at every turn.