‘Blindspot’ 5×04 Review: “And my axe!”

Welcome one more week,blindspotters! On this occasion, the show has delighted us with the fantastic “And my axe!”, a transitional episode but absolutely human, raw and real, and one in which the emotions of the characters and ours have been more in line than ever. The episode teaches us the meaning of true love and brotherhood. Let’s discuss everything!

Here we go!


Give an Emmy to Audrey now! What amazing acting! Tasha has been…God, she’s been fucking awesome.

The flashbacks she has had with Reade, seeing them work together again…I hadn’t realized how much I missed him, how much I missed them, until I’ve seen this episode. All their scenes are so…them. That tug of war, that unresolved tension, with a cool Tasha, with nothing to lose and everything to win and with a more restrained Reade, but letting himself be carried and following his instinct…next to her. As partners, as friends, as…something else. Together they have managed to solve the case in the past but also in the present. It was as if Reade had not left…only he has.

Having said that, I have to say that I don’t usually like episodes based on flashbacks or when they solve a case as a result of them. I always look suspiciously at something like this…and this episode was no exception. I didn’t like the flashbacks resource. I understand the intention and the need to show what they have shown but… But. I think they could have done it differently and showed the same thing.

BLINDSPOT — “Head Games” Episode 505 — Pictured in this screen grab: Audrey Esparza as Tasha Zapata — (Photo by: Warner Brothers/NBC)

The fact is that for Tasha it’s hard and difficult to remember Reade. It hurts, destroys her, breaks her…and she doesn’t want to. She cannot afford to do it. So she becomes defensive, and closes in on herself. She knows that remembering is vital but…she just can’t do it. Kurt goes to talk to her, though Tasha doesn’t want him to at first.  Somehow, they‘re going through something similar. She just lost the love of her life and Kurt just lost one of them, his daughter (please, just look at his face when Tasha mentions Bethany’s birthday, it’s pure agony). The future without them is dark, bleak and remembering them is too hard, too much. So he understands her perfectly.

But if she doesn’t do this, if they don’t fight, then they have nothing left. The subtle difference here is that Kurt can go back to Bethany but Tasha can’t. Reade is…gone.  Forever. She cannot get him back. But perhaps she can make his death mean something and his memory is a balm for the raw wounds she has in her heart and soul.

And that’s just what they end up being. In those flashbacks, when Reade is about to leave,Tasha predicts the future of both “I will not leave you. You’re stuck with me.” It was always like this. It will always be so. They were never abandoned, even in the worst moments. And they were…just stuck together, their destinies intertwined.

In the present, Tasha reproaches herself for not letting him go, but none of it is her fault. She never could have. Call it destiny, call it love, call it soulmates.

Later, when they’re both about to have each other’s backs as the involuntary partners they have decided to be, Tasha mentions that her boyfriend is no longer her boyfriend (he was an asshole and filthy macho Tasha, you couldn’t have made a better decision),  and Reade just looks at her and says “maybe he wasn’t the right man for you” and he was right! At that moment Reade doesn’t realize, he can’t even see what he’s really saying, those words are important because the right man for her is him.  Always. And now…TASHA’S PREGNANT!

Actual footage of me

This has been a totally unexpected bomb, and I loved it! A perfect surprise that has left me with my mouth open. That boy or girl will have a piece of Reade and another of Tasha. Their love, their story will last. That baby is…hope. Reade’s still with her, as he has always been and together they have created what they always wanted to have: a family.

The only one who knows it at the moment is Rich. He helped her buy the pregnancy test and she confesses it to him. She doesn’t know what to do. It’s not the best time, with their lives on line, with more risky missions than normal, with a price on their heads. It’s somehow perfect but totally wrong at the same time. And here the doubts appear. Tasha doesn’t even know if she’ll be able to handle…everything. A baby, the missions, the risk and Reade’s memory more alive every day. She feels that then she will not be able to forget him. But that’s the key, she shouldn’t forget him, just overcome and learn to live with it. We never forget the people we love and lose, it’s impossible.

Rich just listens to her and lends her a shoulder to cry on. He lets her vent and shows her his presence, his support. Tasha is not alone and she can handle this. She can handle everything.

Patterson has realized that there’s something strange between Tasha and Rich. He knows something that she doesn’t and it hurts. Tasha is her best friend and her heart shrinks at the thought that she has trusted someone else with something important.  She’s angry and hurt so she demands Rich tell her what is going on. She is not even going to face Tasha because she knows that she is too hurt to do it and will say something that she’ll regret later.

Patterson’s arguments are simple. They’re family, their destinies are more united than ever and if something serious happens it can affect all of them so they have the right to know what happens. She has a point here. They have a right to know…it’s just not their decision. It’s Tasha who must decide to whom and when to tell what happens to her. It’s her sole and exclusive decision. It isn’t Rich’s secret to tell. It’s Tasha’s and Patterson is being unfair by putting so much pressure on Rich and getting mad that he doesn’t want to betray Zapata’s trust, she should just go talk to Tasha.

BLINDSPOT — “And My Axe!” Episode 504 — Pictured in this screen grab: (l-r) Audrey Esparza as Tasha Zapata, Ashley Johnson as Patterson, Ennis Esmer as Rich Dotcom — (Photo by: Warner Brothers/NBC)

Speaking of Tasha again, when the mission becomes clear, she must decide whether to go or not, and she doesn’t hesitate for a second. The vulnerability that we had seen before in her evaporates and gives way to anger and determination. That’s her shield. She must go on that mission because it’s the only thing she can do for Reade.  Try to honor his death. If she stays, doing nothing, she couldn’t bear it, she would never forgive herself. Madeline and her minions have taken everything from her, she isn’t going to let this be taken from her too, that’s the reason why she’s so rude with Rich. She and Reade chose to be life and work partners, and where one goes, the other goes. Now that Reade is gone…Tasha continues to have his back.

Already in the middle of a mission, when Tasha must enter to save Jane and Kurt, something happens. Memories come back in full force. Reade, Reade, Reade. She sees only him, just like at the beginning. His smile, his face, his expression, his jokes, his eyes…all of him. But this time, when the memories threaten to drown her and she can only lose herself in them, she manages to overcome it. Those memories don’t weaken her, don’t make her fall to the ground totally broken but rather give her strength. Helps her get to Jane and Kurt, with Reade at her side.  Going into that warehouse together, if only in her imagination.

He must to be there…and he is. Although it isn’t real, for Tasha it is. And she manages to feel something she hadn’t felt since that fateful day where her world was extinguished: peace. She has found in those memories, in Reade, the ability to move on and be at peace. She’ll never forget him but she’ll always remember him with a smile. A smile that at some point will stop being sad and will become nostalgic.


Jeller made us suffer (and frustrated us) during this episode. First scene already hurt us. It’s heartbreaking. It’s Bethany’s birthday, but Kurt isn’t there, he doesn’t even know where she is or if she is fine. They can’t even give her a gift. But Jane wants to do something special…she wants to make Kurt know that he’s with her…even if not physically. She has a very attentive and special detail when she gives him a drawing made by Bethany.

It’s a gift and a reminder of why they fight: for a future together. But Kurt is…really in low spirits. It’s his daughter’s birthday and he’s missing it. He doesn’t see a future. He doesn’t see light at that time. He can only think that time is passing and that his daughter may not even remember him when he sees her again, she may not even know who he is and if she does…she will think that he abandoned her, how can he explain everything? So do they really have a future?

Kurt’s in a dark and ominous mood. It’s inevitable on that day. A special day in which he misses her and more than ever he’s aware of everything he has lost. But Jane is there, as always. She supports him and makes him see that they do have a future.  That’s why they’re fighting…and they’ll win the battle. Kurt is still sad, he still feels that conviction is as fragile as glass…but he appreciates Jane’s effort. She’s his only light in the dark.

BLINDSPOT — “And My Axe!” Episode 504 — Pictured in this screen grab: (l-r) Jaimie Alexander as Jane Doe, Sullivan Stapleton as Kurt Weller — (Photo by: Warner Brothers/NBC)

However, Jane knows him well and knows that Kurt will not be able to rest until he knows without a doubt that Bethany is fine, so he ask Rich to search for her. She has good intention, the best of intentions: to give her husband peace of mind, a precious gift…but the way to hell is made of good intentions. This request from Jane will unleash a storm that neither of us expected.

The results of Rich’s investigation are not as expected. Bethany’s in the hospital…or that’s most likely, and Jane decides to hide it from Kurt. And I want to stop here. By now, after all they’ve been through, Jane should know that hiding things from Kurt and lying to him by default is not the way to go.

I understand Jane, I really do. She knows him and knows that if Kurt finds out about everything he will think of nothing but reaching his daughter, regardless of consequences. That would put them all at risk and destroy the future they could have together. That future would no longer exist because Madeline would find them and finish what she started in that cabin and it might be for nothing, because they aren’t totally sure that it’s her (although she knows that it’s Bethany) and, in case it’s her, it may not be anything serious. So she decides to hide everything from Kurt making excuses about the reason for doing it. But, in reality, the only reason is the fear that Kurt himself puts his future and life in danger, the terror of losing him and losing everything.

But Jane’s taking away Kurt’s decision-making ability. Bethany’s his daughter, he has to know that she’s in the hospital. It’s his decision what to do with that information…and it’s Jane’s job to talk to him to try to make the right decision and just support him whatever that decision is. But Jane’s deciding for Kurt without being entitled to it.

I mean, this bad decision is one that Jane has made several times already – just like Kurt. Too many (producers, I’m looking at you). It’s time for them to learn that it’s not the right thing to do. They should have learned it already. So I was disappointed that they repeated this plot again because it’s too tired. With this occasion, there’re already 31267949 times in which Jeller’s trust has been tested based on lies and secrets. Some innovation in this matter wouldn’t hurt.

Of course, the bomb explodes and Kurt catches Jane and Rich whispering when they discover that what has happened to Bethany is already a fact. Kurt’s first reaction is anger and something much worse: disappointment. He thought, like me, that Jane would know better. He didn’t expect something like that from her, not after everything they have been through, everything they have fought for.

BLINDSPOT — “And My Axe!” Episode 504 — Pictured in this screen grab: (l-r) Sullivan Stapleton as Kurt Weller, Ashley Johnson as Patterson — (Photo by: Warner Brothers/NBC)

His second reaction is clear: get to Bethany. It’s just the reaction Jane expected. So she tries to apologize by excusing herself on that, in Kurt’s reaction. He wants to go to that hospital but he can’t. He cannot do anything, they cannot do anything. If he leaves the bunker and tries to get to the hospital, Madeline will kill him before that happens. And they’ll lose everything. There will be no future, there will be nothing.  Staying where they are, doing nothing, is the right decision, the only real option they have.

Jane has a point here. Kurt doesn’t think things coldly about this. How could he? Is his daughter. In this, Jane’s right. However, that doesn’t mean that Kurt is wrong when he claims to Jane that he had a right to know, that he had a right to make that decision for himself, that she should have told him the truth. He trusted her to do it, his wife, his light, his life partner, the woman he trusts more than anyone, even more than himself…and she disappointed him. Kurt’s absolutely right.

Later, when it’s all over, Jane feels Kurt cold, freezing, practically not looking at her and it hurts. It hurts like hell…but it’s her fault. And she knows it. Jane can’t stand being in that situation one more minute with the love of her life, so she asks for forgiveness. She knows that Kurt is right in what he said to her, in everything. She didn’t make the right decision. She just wants Kurt to have patience with her…this is also new to her and she feels that pressure. She’s there for him, but sometimes she also falters, sometimes she doesn’t see any light at the end of the tunnel either and she’s so scared…so much…that it leads her to make decisions as stupid as the one she took to hide the truth about Bethany.

BLINDSPOT — “And My Axe!” Episode 504 — Pictured in this screen grab: (l-r) Jaimie Alexander as Jane Doe, Sullivan Stapleton as Kurt Weller — (Photo by: Warner Brothers/NBC)

She may be wrong, she may sometimes do things that will make Kurt want to get away from her, but she loves him. That’s the only inalienable truth. The only thing that’s enduring. Love. Kurt responds with a similar statement. It doesn’t matter that sometimes she frustrates him, makes him angry or that he makes her angry…he loves her. At the end of the day, it’s the only thing that matters: the love that unites them. That will make them overcome everything. It’s beautiful.

And they have a great challenge ahead. Jane’s injured and Kurt has been kidnapped…can the team find him in time? I bet yes! And it will be Jane who does it (in my world the team manages to heal her).


In conclusion, this episode’s almost perfect. It has very few negative points (basically my problem with flashbacks). We have witnessed the strong ties that intertwine these characters, love, fear, hope, their mistakes and their successes. It was like shock therapy.

Tasha, for example, found hope and peace. She managed to think of Reade and every moment with him with a smile. A sad, tearful smile…but still a smile. Hope.

Jeller has been the other side of the coin. The reverse. They shown us how the fear of making a mistake, the terror of losing the loved one makes us make follies and mistakes, makes us try to protect them to the point of robbing them of their decision-making capacity, to the point of testing their confidence…and be about to lose it.

Rich shown us unconditional friendship. Help, the presence of a friend when we need it most. No questions. Because he doesn’t need to know anything to be there. To be next to his family.

BLINDSPOT — “And My Axe!” Episode 504 — Pictured in this screen grab: (l-r) Ennis Esmer as Rich Dotcom, Audrey Esparza as Tasha Zapata — (Photo by: Warner Brothers/NBC)

And Patterson. Patterson has felt left out of Tasha’s life…and that hurts. Because sometimes, when someone so important to us leaves us out of something transcendental in their lives, it’s impossible not to feel that pinch in the heart.  Although it isn’t fair, even if that person has his/her reasons, it’s what you feel.

I think we agree that this’s a transition episode. No one can deny it. But it’s so human, it’s so real…that it moved me on several points. This. This is what I love about shows. When they really stir me up inside in a good way. It’s the reason why I spend hours seeing so many (more than I like to admit), because they make me feel like a good book: I‘m not alone and I’m not the only one who feels a certain way in certain situations. I’m not perfect…because I don’t have to be. Blindspot accomplished that in this episode.

PS: Rich is so cool!

Agree? Disagree? Don’t hesitate to share your opinion with us in the comments below! We’ll be back next week with 5×05 “Head Games”.

Blindspot airs Thursday at 8 / 7c on NBC.

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